- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Eddieu Love I am so sorry you are having such a hard time, I completely understand how infuriating and painful this is. But just because you have the thoughts does not mean they’re yours, they are called intrusive thoughts because they are invading you. The reality is that the choice is quite simplistic: if you do not want to be gay or bisexual then there is no reason to be forced to label yourself as such. I understand how this can seem impossible, but after exposing yourself to situations you are uncomfortable in you will be happy once again. It will just take a bit longer than what you want it to take. I wish you the best and know that you are strong and that we are all here for you!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am so sorry hon that you are feeling this way! I have the same thoughts as you, in fact I am suffering a major relapse right now. But the good news is that I know you and I can beat this, I’ve done it once before and if I could do it I know you can as well! We simply have to be strong and not feed the demon. Once you stop seeking reassurance and constantly doing compulsions your mind will become clear and you can be confident again! It just will take time and practice.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I had an intrusive thought while peaking and it felt real. I am so fucking done with life right now. I still don't want anything with a man EVER, and the thoughts and images still disgust me to no end after doing that. I'm so ashamed. I guess I have to live with knowing I'm bisexual, even though I hate being it and I don't want to try anything with a dude ever. Fuck. Me. I hate this and I just want to be back to who I was before this shit. I just want to have a normal wife and a family, I want to be attracted to girls again, I want to be ME again. ? I want to fucking die I seriously want to vomit right now. ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Noo! Stay strong! I felt this so much as I was reading it, I feel the say same. I envy those who are happy with a man and probably never question anything! I hate that I have to always question everything. Stay strong we’ll all get through it!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@MaeGreene Thank you so much. Backdoor spikes are the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced in my life honestly ? I'm starting to think that HOCD doesn't exist and that I am in the deepest depths of denial possible but I will try to hold on to hope.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much !! @MaeGreene I wish you luck in beating this! ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
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