How to talk to family

Hi, I’ve really been struggling lately with my OCD and depression. I’ve been wanting to talk to my parents more about what I’ve been experiencing, they have always been great sources of support in the past. They understand that I struggle with depression and some sort of anxiety but I don’t think they really understand what ocd. I am very bad at explaining these sorts of things and was wondering if anyone has any advice about how I could explain this to them, or if they know of any good educational materials that do a good job explaining what ocd is. Thank you for reading.

e.hkp

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I am so happy for you that you have understanding parents! As a psychologist I explain it like this to my non-psychologist friends: We all have intrusive thoughts (example: you‘re going fast on the highway and the thought „what if i just crash in the guardrails“ just pops up). These thoughts can also relate to important personality characteristics and values. Healthy people can just shrug these thoughts off („nah that’s bullshit, next thought“). Vulnerable people can regard these thoughts as a danger, no matter for what reason (but as an example: because of a specific relationship). They feel uncertain, which feels dangerous and unbearable. This is why they engage with the thought by performing compulsions (eg rumination). These compulsions usually give certainty and relief for a short while. But what also happened is that the brain learned the following: ok that thought must have been dangerous for us, that’s why we felt the urge of safety and certainty and performed compulsions. The brain starts being somehow addicted to these compulsions and their results (eg relief, certainty). So whenever that thought pops up again, the brain feels the urge to engage with the thought in order to feel safety, certainty and relief - otherwise we will be uncertain, which feels dangerous since it’s about the most important things in our lives

e.hkp

Date posted: 1y

English is not my first language, but I hope you understand what I mean and that it’s helpful for you! I have made the experience that explaining it to my friends like this has made them understand my suffering much much more. It has been kind of comforting to know, that there are people understanding and not judging me. I hope this helps you with telling your parents! Wishing you all the best

e.hkp

Date posted: 1y

And one thing to add: Because of performing compulsions and the brains „addiction“ to them, the thoughts pop up more often (the brain feels the urge to uphold the thoughts in order to get certainty again and again) and are triggered by the smallest things. The result is an endless cycle of trigger -> thought -> uncertainty -> compulsion -> usually certainty for a short while -> trigger / thought / doubt -> and so on This cycle takes much quality of life and time and is energy consuming. We are kind of trapped in our thoughts and start to doubt and question more and more of our lives.

Adi7

Date posted: 20w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

mysticalmads

Date posted: 15w

Advice on getting help

Hi I’m currently undiagnosed but am so sick of the way I’m living that I’ve decided I seriously need to get help. I need advice on 1. How to tell my parents that I need help and 2. The process. The first part is hard because a couple years ago I talked to my mom about having OCD but she brushed it off and said “everyone has anxiety” so I just never brought it up again. I’m also a bit ashamed for some reason, I don’t know why, to bring it up to them and I feel scared. For the second part what’s the process of getting diagnosed and getting medication and therapy. Where do I get diagnosed and do I have to start therapy before getting medicated? Thanks so much for the help.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

Telling a loved one you have a specific subtype

Hi all, I would really appreciate some advice on how you told a loved one about having ocd, specifically a significant other. I’ve been with mine for over 5 years, and I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. To be honest, with the subtype I have, it’s really crippling to deal with, and I have a major worry of my partner not understanding the subtype. I would love to get some advice on how to best approach it and how to provide understanding that I’m still the same person. Thanks!

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