Bored

I am a learner driver, with about 70 hours experience with driving. Ever since I have started and up till now, I have crippling anxiety that I am not a good enough driver. With my next birthday coming around in a months time (when I can go for my driving test), I feel so inexperienced and think that I will never progress or even if I can drive on my own, I will cause a car crash. There’s this feeling I’ve always had, that I can’t be independent and do things for myself. I always have to pre-organise everything with guidance. This includes what I wear, how my bedroom is decorated, what I eat, etc. And with driving, I feel like I’m never going to be good enough to gain the confidence I need to drive on my own. P.S, the majority of my driving has been obtained through my parents, but I am only starting lessons now (If I had the choice, I would’ve done lessons from the beginning).

I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before

Also I read on tik tok or twitter that if u still feel connected to younger people that means you’re not progressing or maturing and that’s bad. I’m 25 and I’m at this odd stage in my life where I’m getting older but still feel like I’m 20-22. I feel like I’m behind people that are my age. I think it’s because I’m been bed rotting with severe depression for the past 4 years… but I’m scared this means I’m becoming a pedo in the future.