Also I read on tik tok or twitter that if u still feel connected to younger people that means you’re not progressing or maturing and that’s bad. I’m 25 and I’m at this odd stage in my life where I’m getting older but still feel like I’m 20-22. I feel like I’m behind people that are my age. I think it’s because I’m been bed rotting with severe depression for the past 4 years… but I’m scared this means I’m becoming a pedo in the future.
While this isn’t my theme I can sympathize with you. It might help to not try to compare yourself to others your age (easier said than done). We are all on our own path, nothing really needs to be done at a certain time. I’m sorry you are feeling this way but I hope it helps even a little :)
In some things i feel like i've matured and in others i haven't, personally. I get along well with older people or people my age, but at the same time my parents are very overprotective. My room is still painted all pink, i haven't really developed my own style of clothes, and sometimes they're still a bit childish. It's also a combination of not having money and living in a country that could be considered "dangerous", -although i don't feel it that much- OCD also keeps me from doing things, it doesn't let me take responsibility or be present, i don't clean, o rarely cook, although i know how to do those things and it would be useful for me to learn, my mind just causes me to freeze. I feel like i should be doing more things, but i can't because i'm not living that life i imagined when i was little.
Feel like this and im 19… I also have extreme feelings of nostalgia and mourning what could’ve been so when I see people younger than me doing things I miss doing I just have feelings like “oh I wish I could go back” and ocd makes me feel weird about it I never go hangout and do stuff with people way younger unless it’s family like cousin etc but yea I feel you also on the bed rotting and stuff
@dee012 Same!!!!
@dee012 And sometimes I look back and wish I had that care free teenage experience and then I start feeling weird
I’m not sure if this is helpful because I know reassurance isn’t always the best thing for ocd but I don’t think feeling “not mature” will lead to you know. This world wants us to grow up so much and as kids we want to be grown up so bad. It’s totally normal to not feel mature. As my therapist says that there are obsessional doubts and maybe a worksheet with obsessive doubts might be helpful? I’m 20 years old and I feel like I’m still 16, but I know that reasonably, that is not at all true evidence that it will lead to bad things. A Tik tok or twitter post is not solid evidence, there’s a difference between correlation and causation etc. i understand how scary these thoughts can be. Reasonable doubts are based on solid evidence, like “I’m worried my umbrella won’t be enough” if you see a weather report for a really bad storm” a tweet like that is super triggering and I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this.
Work toward your goals and steer away from your fears. You’ll get there!
ughh my message got deleted before I could post it… T_T anyway, I was going to say that I felt this. I’m 22 now but still feel like that lost 17-year-old girl who’s alone. I think my last years of my teen life were stolen from me and I often look at younger people and wish my life had been different. I do feel so awkward at my age because I normally find people younger than me in games and people much older in real life. I know there are people around my age at work, but outside of it, it seems like I’m the only one who’s 22. idk if it makes sense but it seems like to me the live energy of people are those younger than me or way older. and I just happen to be in the middle—invisible. it’s like, “where are my people?” and well, I’ve been on my own for quite a while now. I barely make contact with online friends and don’t have any irl ones. I don’t get along with family ties. it really is just me in the end. now it feels like I’m venting…ANYWAY, tl;dr: I feel you and have been miserable these past 5 years. I also feel behind but I have been watching some youtube videos lately and honestly? we are both on time. what are we behind on? who? I know this is ironic for me to say since I struggle with it but we are not falling behind. we’re falling into place. this might be silly for you but I already feel behind because I’m not a college graduate with a house lol. undiagnosed depression & ocd handled these past few years for me. social media is full of bull imo. I’ve gotten sick of it & have reduced my time on it. I recently had to delete reddit off my phone bc I was doing a lot of compulsions & spent a lot of time. just focus on yourself & don’t worry about others. I’m with you on this feeling. we’re strong and I believe we can overcome these things. best wishes to you.
Take a break from the TikTok and all that stuff. Give it a week and see the difference it will make.
Why is my brain telling me that I wouldn’t mind being a p, that I could live with it and be fine with it, and I am really a p because my situation is too unique…. I didn’t agree with it but I allowed myself to think about this, and it just made me feel like I did agree to it. I’m worried that I’m lying to myself, I really don’t want to turn to into this person, my WHOLE LIFE i was attracted to older people and never ever felt this way until now (false attraction) it makes me so convinced and it puts me in a dark space. It’s hard to think right now.
Okay, so I was exposed to porn at 9. My older cousin came over to the house and asked if I could keep a secret and stuff and then he showed me porn. I got addicted to it ngl. I would watch it whenever I could and would always think about it when I wasn’t home. Because of this, I started reading mangas on this one website and I was still in elementary school when I started reading these I think, either that or middle school. Anyways, there was this one about these kids who did it and I was like oh I’m the same age as them and all that you know so I didn’t think much of it. I would still read it up to when I was in high school but I wouldn’t like read it often, I would just read it because I was familiar with it and it felt like I was still their age for some reason, like I didn’t see them as kids you know, it felt like they were my age. Oh my god, that makes it sound even worse. When my POCD started, I stopped reading that story because I was it terrified me so a little before I turned 18. I keep going back and forth on whether or not I’m actually a pedophile or not. I don’t know if it’s because I was exposed to that stuff so early and my cousin would constantly talk about sex when he was with me. I thought it was so normal to be reading and looking at that stuff. I didn’t realize. I’m scared that my nephews are going to be exposed to that so early like I was. My POCD mostly targets my nephews and now I’m scared that I’ll do the same thing to them and show them that stuff (I never will) or that I genuinely do like that stuff. I feel like throwing up while writing this. I just don’t want to be one. I’m sorry if this triggers you or if this seems like I’m seeking reassurance and maybe I am. I genuinely don’t know right now. I think I just needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been worrying about it for awhile.
im scared that i don’t think pedophilia is wrong and that i secretly think touching kids is okay because i don’t react in an angry or disgusted way towards pedophiles. every time i hear about them i just get scared that im one of them and it’s not always rooted in a fear of harming children. most of the time it feels like im just scared of being ostracized. all my other morals with other topics feel genuine but when it comes to pedophilia, i have no idea what i truly believe.
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