Question?

I’ve read something referencing conditioning neural pathways. This is where your strengthening, the neural network of what you are thinking about. Am I right in saying the more you ruminate about your past for any mistakes or wrongdoings, you are making your brain come up with more negative thought/images? Meaning your mind will give you real strong feelings, and even thoughts that are not true to fit its narrative? Basically, you’re making yourself come up with thoughts/images in general. They are not real, but they are to you because of the fear and constant thinking, and even mentioning from an outside source.

OCDisHell

Date posted: 1y

I'm not a doctor but an expert in having OCD. It's a vicious cycle that is based on ruminating over "what ifs?", "Maybes", and uncertainties. The key is breaking the cycle but as we all know that's difficult to do because of the way our brains are "wired". The more you ruminate the more strength you give your OCD, which is the same as telling the brain to be at heightened alert over the intrusive thoughts it has. When your brain is at heightened alert so is your anxiety and stress. We can never remember every single second of every single day and most people do not try to but us that have OCD it latches onto the uncertainty of not remembering every single moment in life.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@OCDisHell My problem is that I’ll get image/ thoughts that pop up in my head that feel real from the beginning. I ruminate about the past a lot. Trying to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong or see if anything inappropriately was done. Everyday I’m fighting my brain and I’m on guard for anything to appear. It all feels real genuine from the beginning and that’s what scares me. There’s no doubts or not sure about things they’re just always real and I just get so scared and overwhelmed with guilt and shame. I also believe I have a guilt complex in general. I’m just wondering if somehow a negative bias or constantly feeling nervous or guilty makes my brain come up with things. Are these real memories that I forgot. which I hope it’s not the case on my brain just destroy me in general.

OCDisHell

Date posted: 1y

So I tend to be a more sensitive person and I think OCD "targets" sensitive people, meaning people who tend not to have or feel shame or guilt are not sensitive to anything they may or may not have done, they just don't care. If you are fearing the thoughts then you are actually less likely to have done the things you fear but by me telling you that I'm just giving you temporary relief through reassurance or the semblance of reassurance. You have to try your best to just let the thoughts be there and live with the uncertainty. I think people with OCD tend to look for perfection, in other words "my record is squeaky clean" and the truth is nobody is perfect, not one single person. I will tell you from personal experience and past experience that when I've attempted to lower my medication (zoloft) my OCD comes back with a vengeance and I end up in the same exact situation you described, but when I have the proper dose and the proper medicine I am better equipped to let the thoughts just be.

Nica

Date posted: 1y

You’re wiring your neural pathways to automatically give into compulsions when you do them constantly, so when you are in ERP, you’re undoing it and then rewiring them so it isn’t automatic and to chill out in reaction to intrusive thoughts/images/urges.

moon0270

Date posted: 25w

Mental compulsions/ rumination

So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

Sneaky Distortions?

Does anyone else find it hard to let go of an intrusive thought when you can find some irrelevant truth to it that feels relevant? Examples: **“You’re attracted to *insert inappropriate person* (family member/child/animal)”** “But they are pretty/cute/adorable…” **“You think your bf is ugly.”** “Well, his hair did look weird the other day and I’ve taken unflattering photos of him. He *could* be (more fit/better dressed/etc)…” **“What if I actually want bad things to happen to me for attention?”** “Well, I have imagined people comforting me… and sometimes I do not mind when others check in on me.” **“What if I’m actually a bad person deep down?”** “Well, I have made mistakes before… and sometimes I do not immediately feel guilty.” **“What if I secretly want to be with someone else?”** “I have thought about what it would be like to date different people.” **“You wanted (family member/child/anyone else) to find you sexy”** “Well, I don’t want to be seen as ugly, and a compliment is flattering.” —— It’s such a skillful distortion at times that I don’t even realize things are twisted, and I genuinely believe the thought, causing me to panic so intensely. Only later, I look back and have small epiphanies where I realize it wasn’t at all what I thought. Anyone else?

eb123456789

Date posted: 22w

Responsibly ignoring intrusive images

Hi all, I’m really grateful for all the support I’ve gotten from people in the last few days. My mental health is at an all time low and I really appreciate the relief people have brought. I had a question about whether an intrusive image of a potentially imagined event can feel just as real as a real memory. I’m doing my best to stop ruminating over an image I have in my head, and have gone so far as requested security footage of myself and have been told both through that and by my friends that nothing bad happened, but the image in my head feels just as real as other memories. I was also drinking the night in question, which makes it harder for me to dismiss the image and makes me feel like I shouldn’t. I was just wondering if imagined images can feel just as real? I’m trying to use tools to ignore the image, and have therapy scheduled for tomorrow, but I feel like I can’t responsibly dismiss the image even with the evidence I’ve gathered if there’s something about a real memory that looks different in the brain and that if so, that suggests my memory is real and I should confess it. I’m really working on stopping reassurance seeking as well, especially now that even after being told that nothing bad happened when the establishment I was at reviewed security footage, my brain is telling me “they’re probably just lying and never reviewed it.” I know I need to just stop ruminating, reassurance seeking, and mentally checking the memory, but I just don’t know if I can/should in case the image is what I should trust more, if that makes sense.

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