- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
depression & ocd
Hi, I need some advice please I’m scared! My ocd has gotten way better but the last couple weeks my depression has doubled down to the point my ocd thoughts have seemed to come true in some way (I know this is not necessarily possible). This normally wouldn’t be possibly I feel but I have Suicidal OCD…intrusive thoughts, images, feelings, urges, outlooks, whatever else about suicide. Now the issue at hand is. I constantly feel like hurting myself, but I don’t want to (but I feel like I’m want to especially when I’m in loads of pain???) this use to Bother me greatly and it still does obviously but it bothers me in a different way now . Basically I feel like I “want” to or “desire” it but I cannot act on it because I know I dont want to. This is painful as hell and it’s most Likely my ocd mixing with depression symptoms which is terrifying agitating and I feel angry all day everyday I don’t feel like doing anything except laying in bed and sleeping to keep myself safe. The anger is really the driving force for all of this. Suicide has been my main theme for 6 months and the fact that I might have both the ocd and si is disappointing as it’s my worst fear come true.