Been on this OCD roller coaster for 10+ years, I’m tired & nothing seems to get better. I want to leave this earth without hurting those who care about me, I’m done tbh. No hope left in me. I wish I had someone irl to talk to, cry with, someone who understands OCD (not a therapist). I hate this life.
I promise you, you aren’t alone. Have you tried reaching out to NOCD for therapy?
@SydneyRJ Nope, I’m not ready for therapy + I’ve been having issues with my insurance so idk how I’ll pay for it.
@ghufran I’m sorry you feel this way. NOCD actually saved my life and I know it can for you. Idk if anyone is ever ready for therapy, I wasn’t, I was scared but I took that jump anyway and it really helped. Just know you aren’t alone.
@SydneyRJ thank you
Have you tried joining an OCD support group? I’ve found that it’s a place where I feel safe sharing about my OCD struggles, among people who understand. It’s different than therapy because everyone is just there to listen and support each other, and nobody is pressuring you to do exposures or go to therapy if you aren’t ready for that. I would be happy to help you find a group if you would like!
@User11123 No haven’t, I’ve never joined a support group but I don’t mind, might as well give it a shot!
Sometimes it’s just nice having people listen, people who get it.
@User11123 it is
I’ve been battling this emotion for about two months now. Everywhere I go and everything I do the OCD attacks and I just don’t see the point. I’ve been suffering so deeply from existential OCD. But I’ve mainly realized my mind wants control and it can’t have control or answers for the questions it’s asking. I’ve found that (in the best way I can explain it) my subconscious mind is taking my conscious mind in a trip and my conscious mind wants it to end. Like chronic pain so to say pushing me over the edge. A few things that keep me grounded. 1. When I drift into despair I don’t think about how I would end it. I don’t let anything take me there. 2. I breathe and remind myself that I need to live in the moment. The past is not here anymore and the future has yet to come. All I have is this moment. 3. I remind myself I’m a part of this universe and that I deserve to be here. 4. When I wake up in the morning I’m breathing. I don’t have to think once to breathe. I just do and among that there are tons of other things my body is doing to keep my alive without me even thinking. I respect those things. I hope this helps in some way.
@davem2 That’s a really beautiful sentiment of what keeps you grounded. Thank you for sharing that.
@davem2 thank you for taking the time to type this out, I appreciate it <3
I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.
I’m so done like idc atp. I feel like my OCD and anger issues combined make me the shittiest person ever. That and everybody in my life doesn’t care about me. And no I’m not saying that for attention or to be dramatic, trust me. Everyone in my life is fake as hell. I haven’t had friends for years. My mom is horrible. If I even told y’all half the shit she’s ever done you would feel disgusted. My sister is the closest person in my life and all she does is throw shade at me and treat me like shit. I can’t make ts up. And I just yelled at my niece because she kept complaining nonstop and I was trying to help her and she wouldn’t listen. I’m so fucking tired bruh like I’m fr done with life. Everybody’s like “hold on, it’s gets better”. When? Because I’ve been waiting and TRYING so hard for years. I’m DONE.
I'm sad about life things. I don't really have friends, but does that even really matter? And I don't feel like I've ever truly been heard by anyone, not even those with OCD. I know that people won't understand my struggles, but I still want someone to talk to about them, but every time I try to I always end up feeling unheard and hurt.
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