Struggling today and I need to talk plz

I’m crying at work while typing this. Today has been one of my worst days since last Tuesday. I’m just so tired of these thoughts always worrying about dumb intrusive thoughts. It’s starting to affect things at work, I just messed something up at work and it’s sent me. The constant what ifs is horrible. Most recent one is what if my family are clones and not real… the existential thoughts and harm ocd never lets up. It’s always new thoughts and I just want to be normal again. I pray every night that I please got back to how I was this summer. I don’t want to hurt a person and I’m sick of these thoughts. I’m taking vitamin D and B complex in hopes it will help, I don’t have a supportive family that will understand. I haven’t been given shit in this life, no physical health, no height, weight and no mental heath. I just want something and I’m really depressed. I just need someone to relate to and talk to because I feel alone and it’s killing me.

purpleecriva...

Date posted: 1y

My OCD is different from yours but I also feel like that a lot of times. It's exhausting cannot be able to live life to the fullest because we always feel so bad 😞 I'm sorry but remember that you are not alone! ❤️‍🩹🫂

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Hi I’m so sorry you feel this way:( I’m in the same boat at the moment I dread going to work now because it’s like I need to stay in bed all day to ruminate more- but believe me going to work is helping you. And who cares if you made a mistake you are more than a silly job. Your mind and your health is not even compatible to your job take as many breaks as you need. These thoughts can make you feel really alone, I know because I felt severely alone today and usually do even though I have a loving boyfriend who supports me, I feel like the only person on earth experiencing this. You are strong and you are going to have bad days but remember the bad days are temporary- take each day as it comes. Breath and look up as you breathe that’s what I do. Life is so short have compassion for yourself and allow your thoughts to come. Think about the things you should be grateful for- you get to wake up tomorrow?? A lot of people I know have passed away and they’re not here anymore. You have a job. And you are also a good person. People who have OCD are usually the kindest people because of how much we CARE. Remember that. Hold onto the little things in life and enjoy them. There is so much more to life than putting yourself down for something OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. Sending a big virtual hug. You can do this

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Thank you, it’s so difficult to look at my family when I have these terrible thoughts and I can’t open to anyone because it’s such a weird thought. Reason I can’t look at syfy movies or conspiracy theories anymore. I just hate how my thoughts get connected to every little dumb things. I just want to be able to live normal and fight this thought off how I have the last few intrusive thoughts. I was so well Friday-Sunday night, I just wanna be normal and I’m just really depressed

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Nate S That’s ok. You could think the craziest weirdest strangest thing but guess what? That’s a thought it’s not reality. Also I’ve had a lot of those days recently where I’m ok but the next day I could be disassociated the whole day because my mind just can’t fight that day. Treat those days like sick days- look after yourself. You are going to have days where you feel like the world is ending. But remember your good days. Life is never linear for anyone it’s a rollercoaster 🎢 so be compassionate towards yourself during your down days. I always separate my dad brain from ghe 10% of me that wants to help myself on those days and you have to drag yourself to the things that will make you feel better. But you are ok I know it’s extremely overwhelming as I have had many panic attacks recently where I feel like everything’s over but it’s not, you’re not alone millions of people are here with you :)

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I needed someone to talk to, I wouldn’t wish what we go through on my worst enemy. Can we please stay connected if we need one another

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Nate S Of course! I don’t want to post my socials here if that’s ok but feel free to chat under any of my posts!

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I always ask myself “why me” like why do I get handed the shit stick in life. Like I said earlier I havnt nothing going for me physically or in relationships or really in life. Why does god have to throw this on me to, like why do I have to deal with mental health issues as well. When is enough-enough? I look at my friends or other family and they’re living their lives, happy, healthy, married and have their family. And I’m here obsessing over dumb shit with no one and nothing doing right for me. I always ask god why, why can’t I have something good to look forward to

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

*sad brain not dad brain lol

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Any advice on how to help not obsessing over those thoughts?

Generiname

Date posted: 23w

Not in a good place

My OCD wants to kill me. I have been crying to the point of nausea and the idea of carrying this disorder for the rest of my life has put my body in a state of fight or flight for well over 5 years. I’m exhausted, I’m tired, no one messages me because all I talk about is my OCD because that IS my day, week, month etc. I’m a struggling alcoholic because of this fucking disorder and it’s too much, I want to drink so bad but I know I’ll mess with my medication in a pretty scary way. But at this point I’m starting to not care. I’m scared and it feels like a bad dream where no one understands what I’m going through. Sorry for the word dump, I need to vent here because at least you guys get it.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

jsford04

Date posted: 16w

so overwhelmingly sad and need someone to talk to

My OCD has become so bad and I feel so alone. I have religious OCD (Christianity) and I’ve been doing okay with letting the blasphemous thoughts go in the moment, but I’m so overcome with guilt and shame I can barely function. I can feel okay and hopeful for a few minutes and then I’m reminded of the horrible thoughts and how nothing can take them back and I can’t handle the guilt. I’m becoming a burden to my family and feel so alone. I do not know what to do. Please help.

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Struggling today and I need to talk plz

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