Wrong Color

I set the class color of my analytical chemistry course in canvas to a bright yellow using hex numbers because that’s what I feel like it should be, but that color only shows up online and in the apps it matched it to the closest pre-set color. I’ve been changing the color all semester to try to get it right because I’m afraid if it’s the wrong color I won’t take the class seriously enough and give it the attention it needs to do well. It had been the same color as a chem course I took a year ago and didn’t do so well in, so I didn’t want to think of this class like I did that one. Then I set it to bright red to give it importance, but that didn’t seem right either. Do any of you feel this way about things sometimes?

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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tinyspecks

Date posted: 1y

@FinneganFox90 I also avoid making art because it’s never good enough even though that was something I used to love doing. And when I start cleaning I feel like I have to keep cleaning until it feels like enough, so I usually end up cleaning more that I set out to, or I avoid starting at all. I feel like it’s really difficult to talk about and identify perfectionism ocd because I do these compulsions just based on intrusive feelings, it’s sneaky.

tinyspecks

Date posted: 1y

@FinneganFox90 Yeah I’m always second-guessing that it’s ocd, which makes it really hard to fix it. An intrusive thought I get is that I’m making it up which will throw me down a spiral of trying to justify that I do actually have ocd, and can trigger more thoughts like I want to have ocd because I need an excuse to be lazy, etc. Especially when I’m avoiding triggers. My OCD will say “You just don’t want to do it” even though I really want to, but I’m scared of it triggering anxiety.

mgmt

Date posted: 24w

Perfectionism ocd

I cannot get over my perfectionism ocd surrounding my hair. The color needs to be perfect without any undertone left of red or orange, or I freak out (due to past experience). I’m a natural brunette, so I dye my hair brown…. Making me have red/orange undertones. I want to get over my ocd completely and the fear I get from dying it/looking at it/constantly checking and comparing to others hair. It’s exhausting. Any tips ? I want ocd to stop taking control of my life. I want to enjoy getting my hair done and not freaking out every second over it.

veinsoul

Date posted: 22w

help :(

so I feel like I’m finally having an academic comeback after years of failing & I’m currently looking at pinterest for that motivation. there are videos that are helpful tools for college students like websites that read chapter books and summarize/create notes & it seems pretty cool. but I somehow deny using those tools bc it feels like I’m cheating. my mind is like, “no, you will study the TRADITIONAL way (which idek what it rlly is)” I don’t know why my brain is doing this to me. I feel like these apps could be beneficial to my learning. what’s ironic is that I literally googled all my assignment answers for one class at the last minute to get some grades in. this is a retake class but because I was so behind on everything, I just looked up the answers. so that really does count as cheating. like bruh 😭 I did it to save myself from a bad class grade. I’m definitely going to study the rest of this semester. I have officially began taking notes and actually doing schoolwork. someone help me!!! these videos look like great resources but my mind is telling me otherwise. another thing is that I’m still lost on what to major in. I keep changing career choices and my head’s gonna explode. there are so many things I wanna say but I don’t want the post to be long. I just want to get good grades and understand the material!!! someone help me >n<

OCD newbies

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 17w

Stressed

I'm in college and about an hour ago i had class. I like to sit alone bc I get a bunch of stupid intrusive harm thoughts. Anyway I couldn't focus AT ALL today. This girl decided to sit next to me and I wanted to ESCAPE. Like i desperately wanted to get up and leave to the bathroom and wait till class was over. I took a deep breath and stayed anyways and tried to focus on lecture but i kept getting so many thoughts and I kept hyperfocusing on my right hand (which was next to her) and my hand felt so weird! Like tingly?? I was like "omg why is my hand feel so weird?? Does that mean i want to do something?!" And it kept imagining me grabbing at her or grabbing my drink and throwing it on her while i was trying to take a sip. I tried eating my breakfast to distract myself but i was holding a fork and got another thought. I realized i was tensing my hands (as a compulsion... i try to keep them as still as possible and as close to me as possible bc the thoughts feel so distressing and the "what if i act out " is playing in my head) And I was internally panicking and now im at the library feeling sad and i feel like I need to solve this. I spent the past hour just mentally reviewing the whole class time rn. The whole class time I was at the edge of the table trying to stay as far as i could and i would get relieved whenever she would stand up to leave the class for something. I managed to make it through the whole class without leaving though but the question in my mind is bothering me so much, "how do I know that these thoughts aren't genuine or are thoughts I want to carry out and why was my hand feeling so weird?" I feel stressed at the library and i want to figure this out 😞

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