Today has started off rough, I just have that horrible anxious feeling and sense of doom. My brain is scattered and I want it to stop. How do I sit with anxiety without ruminating when my brain tells me I have to figure this out and think about it?
Being aware that you’re doing it is already a great start! Talk smack back to your OCD. “Hmm OCD, OCD…sorry your names not on the list. I’m going to have to ask you to get to the back of the line.” For your current predicament “oh great impending doom and I won’t make it if I don’t figure it out in 5,4,3,2,1… oh look I’m still here. Also, last time you told me if I didn’t figure it out I’d be in trouble yet (whether you figured it out or not) I’m still here. You lie OCD”. Focus on your breath and what you’re currently doing as much as possible and even tell yourself “hey I’m having an episode, it sucks, but it’ll pass just like all the other ones.” You’ve already established what it is so you have a foot half in and half out of knowing it’s not real even though your body/mind is acting like you’re in danger when it’s not. Try those things for a bit during this time. Then try to sing a song in your head or even shift focus. Baby steps. Progress is progress. Eventually you’ll rock it and these things won’t be as daunting
@JordTheNord What mad to me is this literally all started because when I was 19 I had a thought of “am I gay?” When before that I never questioned my sexuality, there is no evidence to support it either and because that thought freaked me out so much it stuck. Now I’m 5 years into a relationship, engaged and live with a man who I love and I am attracted to and it still plagues me. It’s madness.
@Bdiz I’m 17 and it’s the worst thing ever. I’m doing erp and cbt Strting from next week. I’m scared
@Anonymous I’ve recently started ERP but I am currently doing it alone, I am working with a therapist but have only recently been honest about my intrusive thoughts so in my next session I’m going to mention ERP. If this your first flare up?
@Bdiz Second, first time it went away for 2 years and it wasn’t as severe. This time it’s taken away my interest in sex, women, girls, Everyrhjng, sex drive gone too. I jus wanna leave this ocd shj behind me and love live my life
@Anonymous I would say watch some videos on YouTube of gay men talking about their sexuality or if that’s to high of an exposure listen to a song by a gay man. I’ve been doing this in regards to lesbians. I have always been a big ally towards the lgbtq+ community. I believe love is love, but for me I didn’t align with being in a relationship myself with a woman sexually. I can appreciate how someone looks and if they are attractive vs being attracted to them if that makes sense. But don’t perform a compulsion. I have found it hard to do this and have put it off for years.. but now I have done it it’s not as bad as I initially thought. Yes the anxiety is there but it’s not half as bad as when I’m ruminating.
@Bdiz Lol we are such silly ppl (humans)
@JordTheNord We honestly are! Ever so sensitive aren’t we!
@Bdiz 100%
@JordTheNord Did you find ERP made you feel less anxious once you did it, do you think it’s the anticipation of an exposure?
@Bdiz Idk it jus feels so bad this time. Ik its ocd but I’m starting to self trust myself and not reassure anymore. But yk what I’m trying my best to get to my best ability. Spoke to a teacher today and he jus put me off so much not understanding ocd and jus triggered it a lot more.
@Anonymous Unfortunately like most things in life if we’ve not experienced it we cannot fully understand the suffering someone is going through. Do you mind me asking where abouts you are from? If it’s the UK I can suggest some free services you can access
@Bdiz I’m from Uk and I’m talking to a specialist from Trent PTS she’s so good and stuff she’s helping a lot. Yes some ppl are not educated on stuff it’s jus shut cuz he said stuff like “oh jus accept it maybe that’s u” but it’s jus so shit cuz no one understands what ocd is
@Bdiz ERP did make me feel less anxious. It was kind of giving me space to not act on a compulsion and other situations was facing fears. What do you mean by the anticipation of an exposure?
@JordTheNord I feel less anxious during an exposure it’s a few hours after when I start to ruminate and I just can’t stop
@Bdiz What do you ruminate about?
@JordTheNord Trying to find an answer to the sexuality thing, do I want that if I think about it so much. When really all I want to do is plan my wedding to my fiancé and not feel a huge amount of guilt about it. Like I’m lying
@Bdiz Just so you know you are absolutely beautiful. I don’t mean you’re killing it with the purple person and bangs (idc what any body says bangs are great and whatever style you want to rock rock it because it’s you) but the fact you are literally on here doing what you can for help to get better in a committed relationship on top of struggling with things most ppl don’t understand just WOW. I just want to know I would hug you so tight and let you know you (which actually we all do) to overcome this. It’s a blessing to have met you on here 🙏🏻 and thanks for being interested to talk and share with me
@Bdiz You are not lying. It is easier said than done but I understand the feeling of feeling guilty about something because we want to be so honest to ppl and the thoughts make us feel like we are lying. It really sounds like hyper fixation which we all seem to experience. I swear you’re not lying. Sorry wanted to add on
I hit the SOS, and I’m just scared. If I sit with the uncertainty, then I could honestly sit here all day crying. I just can’t accept I’m not a bad person and ruined my relationship, no matter how much grace I give myself. What makes me feel better is knowing that I’m not a bad person, and trying to rationalize my mistakes - understanding everyone makes them. But then it feels like i can’t validate my good feelings because it’s “bad” and I should just accept I COULD be a bad person. It honestly sends me into a full panic. Please help!!!!!!
I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.
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