I’ve been doing ERP and I’m currently poorly with covid so I have no distractions which doesn’t help but I just feel lost at the minute like I can’t cope anymore with this. I can’t eat, sleep, laugh, feel close to my partner or anything. My house is a state and It truly is awful from the moment i wake up until I go to sleep I’m tortured with thoughts, doubts and everything in between.
I jus knw sometimes it doesn’t even feel like anxiety but I don’t like the thoughts at all. I jus want em gone so I can get back on my life grind and love it
I’d recommend trying ERP with a professional too. Also, if you’re sick it definitely can make it worse because you already feel like crap. Just like a bad situation not OCD related an even drug use/hungover can allow more intrusive thoughts because you’re not on top of your game. So it is common. I never liked being sick and I know no one does but I HATED that I couldn’t move freely (I have high energy). So even during a small flu or cold I was just so irritated lol. You could just focus on recovering from the sickness and then do some chores for your place? Or if you feel like you can clean something small do that just make sure you’re getting rest. Your body and mind need it.
@JordTheNord I feel like I can’t rest because I can’t shut my brain up ocd tried to watch tv, read everything and I just can’t focus on anything else
@JordTheNord Like do I choose to acknowledge thoughts, do I accept them when I don’t agree with them, But then my mind is so messed up I start to think that maybe it is all true I’m in a real mess
@Bdiz Acknowledging and accepting the thoughts does not mean we agree with them. So yes you should accept and acknowledge them 😊. I still have intrusive thoughts. Our brains just keep going. Think of it like a river of all our thoughts. The yucky gross ones are in there and so are our thoughts like what we truly believe and core values. We choose which thoughts to ladle out of the stream and be a part of what we identify with. The intrusive thoughts are still in the stream but I don’t ladle those out. Doubting ourselves (OCD) makes us feel like it can all be true because why not? We literally can constantly question everything. Which actually means we can even question the justification of an intrusive thought anyways. Flipping the script on it so to speak. Also, our self talk matters too. You are already saying your mind is messed up and it is not true. How we acknowledge things does make a difference in how we approach and handle difficult things.
@JordTheNord Thanks again, you are really great and very helpful! Today feels better (apart from the covid, which is awful lol) I’m trying not to be scared of a relapse and just accept it as it comes, that’s my worry which is maybe the problem most of the time because I’m so scared of it coming back, and I’ve adapt my life to fit into ocd and avoid triggers which isn’t great. It’s affected my self esteem in so many ways and truly made me feel lost as a person. I don’t want to live like that anymore.
@Bdiz My pleasure! I’m glad you feel a little better. You are right, the fear of going into a relapse and avoidance is what’s holding you back. That’s great though that you are aware. That’s HUGE. It definitely affected my self esteem too and I was definitely lost. I know those feelings all to well and I’m sorry to hear you feel that way yourself. Remember even ppl that recover have intrusive thoughts but have learned to handle them. I do not want you to be afraid of those thoughts and that recovery looks like no intrusive thoughts ever again. That is not true. BUT you will be a master of them and have freedom and your self esteem back.
@JordTheNord Honestly thank you for taking your time to help people with this condition. It really is helpful to see someone who has recovered offer support out to those who are still battling. Little life update for you! I cleaned my house today so a little small win there! How are you doing? Have you had a nice day?
@TBdiz Hey thanks so much for your patience! I was doing a lot yesterday and wanted to take time to respond. My pleasure by the way. I’m happy to be there for others because I had ppl there for me. Hell yea on cleaning the house! I’m sure it felt good 😊 how are you feeling today? What have you done today. My day went well. Worked, hung out with my buddy. Went to do some errands for a friend because her bday is coming up so I’m attempting to make her a King Julien crown because she loves him lol. Went to my old work for some food. I use to serve and bartend in a restaurant. One of my old coworkers sat down and SHE IS GOING THROUGH A LOT. Pretty intense stuff. Wasn’t planning on drinking but I did with her as she divulged and needed it. She did say she was happy to see me and very happy she sat down because I helped her which felt great even though all I did was get her back to center and that’s all we can do for each other sometimes. Just felt for her because she’s struggling hard. So it was really nice unexpected surprise turn of events and we drank with some more coworkers and it was a good time lol.
Do you think I should deleted this app for a bit I don’t know if I’m using it compulsively.
@Bdiz Definitely
Over the weekend I had so many flareups and Rushes of anxiety and panic attacks. This ERP therapy is so hard but I know it’s the right course of action just feeling stuck and a little defeated. Any advice for anybody else feeling this way or going through ERP therapy?Trying to remember this is part of the process but gosh it is so difficult.
In ERP, but have made no progress. I’m also on medication for ocd. I actually feel like I’ve resorted back to when I was at my worst. Is this normal? I feel ERP helps everyone and not me. It actually makes me more anxious and want to stop, esp because my ocd is on something physical (imperfections/hair color) I’m not giving up & going to continue through this journey regardless. I long for mental stability 😭
I’m trying to do ERP therapy, but I keep thinking my subtype of ocd is the worst there ever is. I tried going on a walk tonight and the adrenaline in my body along with the shakes and the burning in my chest got so overwhelming. I felt like I was just about to lay down in the gutter along the sidewalk. I’m not trying to be super negative. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If it’s not one thing it’s another and I just wanna cry so bad and I want it to go away but it won’t I almost feel like I have to call a crisis line or something even right now while I’m writing this I’m crying so bad. I can’t enjoy a single thing. I joined a support group tonight, but I just feel like I feel so bad for everyone because of how awful it is. I know what I’m writing right now doesn’t make a lot of sense but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to quit ERP therapy so bad cause I don’t think it’s gonna ever help. if anyone has any advice or suggestions, that would be greatly appreciated.
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