help

i was watching funny videos of kids on youtube as an erp way to prove to myself i’m okay with kids and familiarise myself to kids again so i don’t feel so anxious when i’m around them. when i was looking at a video to watch there was a man lying down with a naked baby on him with the baby’s bum facing him and i think the video was babies farting on people or something but it’s just made an imprint on my mind and made me feel really guilty and horrible.

ivrec

Date posted: 1y

The guilt is from the OCD. OCD thoughts bother you because they go against your values. Remind yourself that this too is one of OCDs tricks to make you guilty about a thought that you don’t want to have in the first place.

hen7

Date posted: 1y

Way to go on doing ERP! 👏💪 My therapist always says: intrusive thoughts WILL pop up, we can’t do anything about that. But it matters what we do afterwards. Are you going to attach some meaning to it and worry about them, or are you going to go about your day so your brain gets the signal to focus on other things? You were doing ERP, which will naturally bring up intrusive thoughts. But then you assigned meaning and a judgement to them: “I shouldn’t have this image in my head, this is wrong/bad.” Your brain wants to fix your feelings of guilt so it’s not weird that it is now constantly feeding you that image. (Which is also an intrusive thought, btw) Are you doing any (mental) compulsions now to alleviate the guilt and fear? Like ruminating, checking your body or feelings for any responses, avoiding kids again etc? Try to slowly quit them again so you make the thought as unimportant as possible. Also, just to check and please correct me if I’m wrong: you wrote you were doing this excercise as a way to “prove to myself I’m ok with kids” — which sounds like either you can handle being around them and be ok with whatever thoughts comes up (which is a good excercise), or you’re doing it to prove to yourself you can be around kids without your OCD responding to it (kind of prove you’re “better” or “recovered”), which is not the point of ERP. In any case, it’s kind of good you got a fear response. That is the goal of ERP, unfortunately. If you’re really afraid and you still won’t respond with compulsions it sends a powerful message to the brain that maybe we are safer and stronger than we think. I do “super exposures” all the time in therapy, which are exposures that go far beyond what I actually would dare to do on my own. Good luck! You can do this!

ocdishorribl...

Date posted: 1y

@hen7 i’ve been ruminating since seeing it but i’m trying to focus on my work instead and just thinking that it doesn’t mean anything. my brains telling me i was looking for it or i did something wrong and should go turn myself into the police but i obviously didn’t/haven’t. i was doing it to be ok with the thoughts and try and face my fear. i’m defo not recovered but trying to start to recover rather than giving into compulsions. thank you for your message!!

hen7

Date posted: 1y

@ocdishorrible.x. Sounds like you’re doing amazing! Keep up the great work! A tip to interrupt rumination the moment it pops up is to start paying attention to the physical world around you or do something taxing for your brain. Some examples we came up with in therapy: - Describe 3 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell and 3 things you can feel. - Name everything around you with the colour green (or whatever colour you want). - Count back from 100 in steps of 7 (switch up that number every once in a while). - Look around you for any text and try and spot all the vowels in the words. - Think of an animal. Now take the last letter and come up with a new animal that starts with that letter. -> Zebra -> Ant Eater -> Rooster etc. - Switch to different themes if the animals start to get boring.

ocdishorribl...

Date posted: 1y

@hen7 thank you so much!! i can’t afford therapy so i’ve been watching videos on how to try myself. this really helps!!

angel 🪽

Date posted: 19w

18+ kinda tmi and nsfw

18+ pls!!! pls reply if u can (superrrrr tmi, pls don’t read if it’ll make you uncomfortable) since struggling with ocd, i have rules around the likes of m^sturbation and sexual stuff because i think too much into it now. one of the rules is that exact day i cant have seen or been around children because otherwise ill get intrusive thoughts that ive done it because of that (it isnt and never has been, before all of this i was able to engage in this stuff without any worry because it never crossed my mind). i cant have seen one the day before either or the day after actually engaging in that stuff because otherwise my mind plays tricks on me. i wanted to yk today because it makes me tired and most of the time helps me sleep but im worried i cant now because my mum and i watched a show and there was a quick clip of a child in it and my for you page on tiktok is things related to the genocide in gaza which obviously on some posts has pictures too that i’ve seen while interacting with the posts (like, commenting and reposting. thought i should state this bc i dont want it to sound like i meant anything else) so because now ive seen them i feel incredibly guilty and that if i am to yk, they’ll somehow link and be proof im this bad person. (Also should state i mean m^sturbate to ADULT content, when i’ve seen these posts i haven’t got aroused or anything. i’m just worried that bc ive seen stuff related to children today it’ll be bad of me to engage in that sort of thing to help me sleep)

123kate123

Date posted: 16w

help

i’m struggling. so i’m a nanny and i had an intrusive thought to like do something bad to him so i was very upset crying saying i don’t want to do it but as i was changing him i got closer to it to see if i would actually do it and i got grossed out. now im feel extremely guilty i even got closer.

POCD

1meow$$$A

Date posted: 15w

Solo ERP for POCD

I am doing ERP by my own because I can’t afford therapy. I exposed myself to babies photos online, changing diapers videos, baby genitalia . All was done with google . I honestly feel like I am predator by viewing these photos even though they are just babies. I seen also a picture on research article of a female patient she is a minor and they have done sexual abuse check on her . The image was so triggering, it was literally a vagina. ℹ developed lots if obsessions with increased groinal responses. And now I fear that I enjoyed all what I have seen.

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