JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

Off topic of ocd but something is upsetting me.

I went on a date last night and I thought everything was going well. He chatted over drinks for about an hour and a half and he all of a sudden said he doesn't find me physically attractive and he can't pinpoint what it was that he wasn't into. I already had two drinks in me and I started to tear up and cry. I called my friend and cried to her on the phone and he stood over me and watched me cry. I'm 28 and he's 38. I still feel a little hurt and also traumatized in a sense I can't explain it. I understand that not everyone is gonna be attracted to you. But, the way everything seemed fine and just switched is what's upsetting me. I can't get over him saying he doesn't think I'm pretty and the fact that he talked about sex the whole time before that. It makes me petrified to go on other dates now. And as you can well imagine, having ocd makes this situation feel worse :(

Naty_

Date posted: 1y ago

Oh no :( forget that. He was just looking for one thing and one thing only…don’t ever cry because of what a silly man said. You don’t even know him and he doesn’t even know you. Just be glad he showed his true colors right then and there to save you from anything worse he could of said or done. You are very beautiful and any man will be lucky to have you. I recommend taking a little break from dating and really making sure the next one who takes you out isn’t super sexual and has a good head on his shoulders. At the end of the day good morals and values are more valuable than money. Don’t look at the car he has or what he wears you got to look at how he treats you and others when you’re out in public.

JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you! You're very beautiful as well and this comment is something I needed to hear. Means alot me 💕💓

Naty_

Date posted: 1y ago

@JenniferNSepp Awwwww you’re welcome beautiful girl ❤️🥰🤍

Lirio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Don’t give him the privilege of having one more moment of your time. Next! You deserve someone who can treat you right. He did you a favor and saw himself out. 😎👍🏻

JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you! Yeah in the long run I do believe it was a blessing he said what he said

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't want to reassure but I will, you're stunning and this guy knows knew it. He's after one thing only and you were probably not going to give him what he wants. You're not "easy" which is a good thing. You're not an object, nobody is. This is something that some guys do to make women feel insecure and try to prove themselves to guys. Women do it too. It's not OK and sometimes they don't even know they're doing it. Also, there could be lots behind the scenes about them that you don't know. Bottom line is, his loss, not yours. You know your worth and you know you damn well deserve to be treated better than that. External validation is nowhere near as important as self validation. You're stronger than you know. 💪

JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

It's interesting that you said "there's a lot behind the scenes that you don't know" because I honestly got a vibe like that, but I try to be open minded and give dates a chance. I know I have to start going with my gut instinct and thank you!

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y ago

@JenniferNSepp Yeh, the red flags are hard to accept when you don't have context for them. Every experience like this can make you stronger, and it seems like you dodged a bullet with this one

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Okay, wow. How incredibly rude and tactless of him, first off. Not being attracted to someone isn't something you can control, but he didn't have to say that to you. He could've just said "Yeah I'm not feeling this enough to take things further, but it was very nice to meet you" and left it there. I'm sorry that this happened to you. ESPECIALLY for a 38 year old man?? He needs to grow up. The right person will love you for exactly how you are. There's someone out there for everyone, and as far as I'm concerned, that dude can shove it. Try to not dwell on it too much, but taking a break from dating is totally valid if you feel like that's what you need.

JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes thank you so much. He was odd to say the least and I stayed because I didn't wanna be rude and it's exactly dislike him. He sent me a paragraph long text minutes later explaining the same thing he had already said. It was so odd and I just wanna move on from it :(

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@JenniferNSepp - I think you should tell him "Hey, I wasn't into you either but I didn't want to be rude, which is why I stuck the date out. I don't need to be reminded that you don't find me physically attractive, when there are plenty of people who do. Please stop texting me, and have a nice day." This reminds me a lot of YEARS ago, before I met my husband, I went on two dates with this dude, who slept with me on both dates, and THEN told me that my weight was a turn off. Mind you, I wasn't fat. I was maybe a little chubbier than I am now, but still. And even if I was, that doesn't matter. I really wish I would've stuck to my guns and told him to piss off, but I had really low self-esteem at the time, so I basically agreed with him and told him I was trying to lose weight, and continued to pursue him. Bottom line - you deserve better. Tell him to piss off and then block him.

JenniferNSepp

Date posted: 1y ago

@JazzCrab Wow! That's disgusting. The way these people will try to make you the issue and try to put you down about what you are physically is honestly such a power trip. They have got to be physcopaths.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

You deserve someone who lift your heart, turn off the page, it made you a favorite, Best wishes

Danni2314

Date posted: 22w ago

First time posting !! Schizophrenic OCD. Help.

TW. Also long post ahead . I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 10 years. I’m 32 years old . I didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until this year. I was always diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, and depression. I don’t have your typical compulsions. Mine are mostly all mental. Reassurance seeking, avoidance , repeating a prayer , etc . I have three main themes . Schizophrenia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, and HIV. Sometimes i deal with harm OCD and POCD but my main big three are the ones I listed first . I feel like the schizophrenic OCD is the most debilitating for me. For the last ten years I’ve been thinking I’m losing my mind . I thought once I got to a certain age the fear would go away but it hasn’t and is in full force . I’m constantly checking my surroundings, what I’m hearing, how I’m acting , questioning if things are real and so on . Now I do have times where this theme doesn’t bother me . It’s put on the back burner . I go through cycles . But when I’m focusing on this theme I feel like I’m hearing stuff . Most of the time I can’t make it out but recently I feel like I’ve been hearing a whisper saying “hey” . It mainly happens at night . It sends me into a complete panic and I feel like “this is it “ I’m seeing an OCD therapist and she recommended me to go to this psychiatric place in town to get meds to help my anxiety from the OCD. My last psychiatrist always pushed the newest medicine and was constantly changing up my regimen. I thought I would give it a try. WORST IDEA EVER . Keep in mind my therapist gave me a letter to give to her explaining I have been diagnosed with OCD and explaining it . She doesn't think I have OCD at all. She wanted to put me on an antipsychotic so me with my OCD brain . I asked her if she thought I was psychotic . She said I was nearing psychosis . She called me interesting . She feels like I have major depressive disorder . I'm just at a loss for words. It was honestly the strangest meeting I have had with a psychiatrist. It was very unprofessional. She has no idea the damage she has done nor do I think she cares. I just don't know what to Believe in anymore ... We met for approximately 45 minutes . First time ever meeting. I just want to cry and I’m freaking out 😢

King silly

Date posted: 20w ago

Is this ocd?

I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

Obsessing over coworker for months OCD

You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(

Relationship OCD

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Off topic of ocd but something is upsetting me.

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