I’m scared of the truth, I’m scared of what I’ve done intoxicated one night, I feel I’ve messed my life up and ruined it, my head is telling me I’ve done something awful to a female (worst case scenario) it’s telling me I done it and I’m capable of it I’m so scared, Please help me
i’ve done some fucked up stuff so i feel this so hard honestly. even if you did, your remorse proves you’re not a bad person. and false memory is a cruel mf so don’t despair! just try your hardest to sort out what actually happened and do your best to take proper accountability, all we can do is move forward when stuff like this happens
@max_scott Thankyou, the thing is though I can’t find out what I’ve done really as I was on my own etc. I just want to know etc. how you coping?
@ Anonymous ah i see. i always try to reach out to anyone i feel like i hurt. they either tell me that didn’t happen (false memory) or do their best to forgive or understand. and sometimes they don’t and i lose people and hurt for a long time. then i realize my own role in my suffering and how i can make small changes to improve the symptoms, even tho i’ll never be cured of OCD. as far as coping, honestly im on this app for that reason lol all i’ve ever used is substances and that’s not a good thing!! however i recommend journaling or even making a diagram that expresses your obsessions in relation to your fears and actions (if that makes any sense). it’s really helped me to separate my ocd thoughts from my “real” self to help with the guilty feelings
@max_scott Hi man it’s so tough isn’t it? I have no way of finding out because if it happened it happened walking home on my own, I’m scared bro if I done it, what do you suggest for me it’s been over a year and still affects me every single day and can’t get out of bed because of it, the only way of finding out is going to the police or posting in a university group chat with over 50k people in it, what OCD theme do you struggle and what about if you don’t mind me asking?
@ Anonymous that sounds so rough i’m sorry. for me at least, in situations like that i just have to tell myself that i might not ever know and that’s okay. processing the guilt seems like the biggest thing here which is smth i’ve had way too much experience with. it’s really rough and you may not ever 100% forgive yourself but it’s really important to not let it eat away at you. which is soooo much easier said than done, but in time you truly will grow and eventually this will be a distant memory of an important learning curve. everything happens for a reason and nobody’s perfect, that’s a cliche for a reason as far as my OCD it’s pretty difficult to say tbh as i’ve been misdiagnosed repeatedly (and also question myself too much) but i struggle a lottt with hocd and soocd themes that have really hurt my loved ones
@max_scott Yeah it’s rough, I had all these dreams about having my own business because I went to university now I can’t get out of bed and don’t see a future, I made ‘mistakes’ with females through university but my housemates said it was normal and part of growing up but it affected me, aw yours sounds bad too it’s not nice at all wouldn’t want to wish it on my worst enemy, I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD yet but from an early age I definitely had it but thought it went, the themes you’ve had is awful too
@max_scott @max_scott Yeah it’s rough, I had all these dreams about having my own business because I went to university now I can’t get out of bed and don’t see a future, I made ‘mistakes’ with females through university but my housemates said it was normal and part of growing up but it affected me, aw yours sounds bad too it’s not nice at all wouldn’t want to wish it on my worst enemy, I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD yet but from an early age I definitely had it but thought it went, the themes you’ve had is awful too
I feel so scared and gross and i keep replaying everything in my head for reassurance but everything feels blurry. I just need exact information, exact proof that I didn’t hurt someone.
Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.
I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!
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