Rough Night…

What do you when your OCD gets big again? When you have a bad flare up? The past few weeks have been so much more manageable and I’ve been so thankful about that. But yesterday, in true fashion, the OCD got bigger and scarier again. I think awful things about my health, dying, etc. Every sensation in my body is the craziest thing like cancer or some rare, awful disease. It feels SO REAL. And SO SO SCARY. To say I get terrified is an understatement. And then the rumination kicks in where I try to logically figure it all out. It’s so hard to manage at times even though I’ve been better. Has this happened to you? How have you gotten through it?

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

What were you doing before that you believed help make your OCD manageable?

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord Well. My mom got sick and passed away. And then I went through a divorce. All of that happened within the course of 6 years so I feel like it was a big distraction for me. Definitely not something I can replicate. But the OCD just felt different. I was so much more rational and logical then. Unlike now where it feels like my rational mind is completely gone.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild Well OCD can come and go so don’t feel bad about it coming back. Sorry to hear of your struggles from the past 6 years and now since your OCD is back. However it doesn’t mean it will stay awhile either. Can you explain how you logically figure it out? Apparently that isn’t the best strategy for OCD

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord So I wasn’t logically figuring it out, I was just more logical. It’s hard to explain, but basically I wouldn’t freak out or ruminate over intrusive thoughts like I do now. And there would be no compulsions as a result. Since mine is so much around my health, if I had a bodily sensation I wouldn’t spiral thinking it was some deadly disease. It was like I knew whether or not it was something that needed medical attention and if it was, I could go to the doctor with minimal anxiety. Fast forward to now, if I feel anything that seems slightly abnormal in my body, I immediately think I’m dying from some crazy cancer or something. The rumination becomes so awful that I actually think I’m dying. The fear and absolute terror that comes up from this has been so debilitating.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild Well definitely focus on and remember during your OCD episodes how you felt and how this isn’t different from before when you could deflect all the intrusive thoughts and rumination. Also, have you talked to a therapist or done any ERP? The techniques to help with OCD which you were really doing subconsciously in your previous years will still help: dealing with uncertainty, focus on the moment, aware that it’s just a what I’d thought no matter how real it feels, sit through it and it does eventually go away. All stuff you’ve done already!

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord Yes, I’ve had a NOCD therapist since Sept when I was diagnosed so have been practicing ERP. It’s slow so far, but I’ve definitely improved! Thanks for your advice!

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild Progress is progress! It is hard and does feel extremely real at times but we must work through that just can’t beat ourselves up. If it was easy this would have never been a thing for any human. Plus non OCD ppl have flickers of this disorder. It’s a human thing

Flower1004

Date posted: 24w

It’s been getting worse..

Just sorta to vent and maybe get advice… I normally struggle with OCD and other MH/ medical issues.. I’ve sorta become acclimated to the stress, pain, mind games, and constant perfectionism. I thought I had it under control but this OCD has just been creeping back in small ways over time. I’ve caught myself doing behaviors and not feeling able to stop it. (This is combo of OCD but not sure how to categorize it all) - compulsively counting body movements til it’s the right number and feeling - adjusting papers/rewritten notes numerous times - irrational thoughts of my new pup being dead when I check on her - irrational thoughts that I don’t love my partner or he doesn’t love me after almost 10 years - every plate, cup, utensil has to be properly inspected before being able to use it - food can not have day of expiration (or even close to it) or a weird look or smell = it is inedible - recent close call accident led to dread driving and constant thoughts of a crash even though I did what I could and didn’t crash The list just keeps going.. but it has simply been a struggle that has lead me to feeling self conscious, unprofessional, childish, ashamed, and crazy. It’s a hard thing to accept that this has begun to return after finding ways to cope and manage in the past. I am struggling with finding ways to cope with it all cuz it is constantly disturbing my relationship, work, and personal well being Well that’s my truth for the day

Catlove9

Date posted: 23w

I need guidance or to feel like I am not alone

I was doing so much better with my OCD. I thought I finally figured it out. However, the last two weeks have been a nightmare. It’s like I went from 0-100 all over again. And it’s become scarier than it ever has been. Every other thought is either causing me anxiety or turning into an intrusive thought. Any headache or feeling of derealization, and I start to spiral. My thoughts are becoming more gruesome and feeling more real. The intrusive urges are so bad it feels like at any moment I could actually just snap. It feels like I am about to go crazy. Another hard aspect is when I’m getting these intrusive urges it feels like I want to do it or I don’t care if I do it. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like this disgusting monster who is just going to lose it and I want it to be over. Why is this happening when I was finally better? It makes me feel like it’s not OCD and I’m actually this person and I’m just holding my true self back. I’m sick to my stomach.

yaya_zz

Date posted: 22w

OCD flaring up

My ocd has been flaring up lately I’ve noticed some things that I don’t know if it’s ocd or something else whenever I seen someone like drugged or sick or just not “normal” I feel like or get scared that’s gonna end up being me? Does that make sense or then after a few minutes I feel like I’m them I don’t know exactly how to explain it I feel like I’m gonna start acting crazy or like I act weird or like them ? Idk exactly how to explain it and I have such a drop in my stomach thinking of it because it makes me feel insane, I haven’t had such an ocd episode so it’s getting hard again and making me feel insane specially because I don’t know how to explain this that I feel, I feel so scared rn can someone please comment on this?

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Rough Night…

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