- Date posted
- 1y
Rocd…pls advice
I feel blocked…mentally emotionally…what can I do? Does the feeling of love actually comes back in? How do you choose to stay in a relationship when you feel like this.
I feel blocked…mentally emotionally…what can I do? Does the feeling of love actually comes back in? How do you choose to stay in a relationship when you feel like this.
Ah- I can tell you just of my knowledge. I was on Paxil for 6 months previously- and that worked- the psychiatrist stated it was because ocd is totally and completely from zero serotonin left. I needed to break the circle my brain was in, and ocd is it asking for help. I was in a stressful marriage- but also, it can come back if you had it as a child. So, the Paxil was a gnarly medication, but it did help and I got off of it. I was still not happy with him- but it was in turmoil before the ocd hit. Years and years later- I am at the tip of the iceberg with ocd again- but this time, I come with more knowledge. Should you tell yourself no matter what- you will NOT allow yourself to be driven by the ocd- and it seems as though a tiny touch of serotonin stays long enough- then with each time- it gets better and better. The psychiatrist also told me to flick myself hard in the arm/leg, to get the attention off of whatever the ocd was about. That worked as well. I don’t know exactly what you are personally going through- but it is a tiny chemical out of balance. See if any of these things might work for you!! Sleep, also. It’s when we get more serotonin. Make sure to keep probiotics (I’m no dr, but serotonin is manufactured in our intestines) and just know you’re not alone. Relationships take time and work. A lot of work- I know you know- and sometimes a relationship just isn’t the right one- but sometimes the ocd gets the best of us. Be as patient with yourself as possible, but make sure to do the work yourself to get your brain out of the circle. Easier said than done for sure. I am taking my own advice. Once it is restored some and you have relief from the ocd, you will have a good picture of your relationship. Love is always present. ❤️ happy is serotonin. Try doing something together. Birdwatching even. A moment in time. Love comes back in- because it really never leaves. Truly though, some relationships just aren’t the right ones. Take a moment to be kind to the other person if you have not. (If they are kind, of course!) A hug. Anything. Serotonin may produce- on some level. It takes about a 20 second hug to have that happen. Start small and keep going. If the other person is good - then do the work for yourself and them. It is amazing what the brain does to let us know it needs some help with getting serotonin.
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
I feel like I shouldn’t be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I can’t remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I don’t know why I love him — and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I can’t feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know I’m not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
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