Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

After my friend and I graduated high school separately. All our other friends moved away and we just had eachother . We hangout all the time and go places together, we are both single so the stuff that we want to do we go together but sometime it feels ver couplely. And my friend post picture of us on her instagram, I’m afraid people will think we are in a relationship because almost ever post I’m In it. Even a friend from work insinuated something because I was in almost everyone on of her posts

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

If it bothers you, then you should express this to her but if it just makes you worry about what OTHERS think then correct them. Tell people that’s your best friend.. hanging out with her has become routine for you both, though and it’s possible it may not be healthy for your OCD but I only say that if she becomes a ritualistic routine to avoid being alone if all of your friends leaving left you more dependent on her. Is this a matter of possibly catching feelings sexually/emotionally? Or is this strictly about the judgement of others?

Anonymousesti

Date posted: 1y

I agree with this comment. Why does it matter what others think if you're happy and you know that's your best friend and that is the truth. Let people think whatever they want to think.

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymousesti PERIOD. 👏🏾 me and my lesbian bestie of 15 years would be tickled at this.. I understand that most people with different ocd trait than me wouldn’t find this okay, especially if they question their sexuality. But LET THEM THINK WHATEVER. 🥰 they’ll think whatever. You don’t need to worry about people you don’t speak to.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@MelaninMoet I think because of my ocd I’m just unaware of what a friendship should look like, I over think every aspect, I’m afraid if I confront her she will thinks it’s weird because she’s never thought of it like that. She is also bi and sometimes I over think if she if flirting with me. She is also very touchy in the sense she wants hugs all the time and I don’t know if that’s what close friends do. I think I ocd is mainly the feeling of, what if, and being unsure. I have never had a boyfriend so im clueless to the difference between a friendship and a relationship.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymousesti I always tell myself I shouldn’t care and then I start to overthink…

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous It happens to the best of us. 🥺wouldn’t be ocd if you didn’t obsessively think about it. You’ll get there. 💕

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous OH I didn’t read your first response! I apologize. I can understand that though. Not want to bring up something that she probably never thought about. And not gonna lie sometimes people are naturally flirty. I know I can come off that way just because I’m comfortable and I talk like that but now that I know she kinda.. “doesn’t help” the situation. Maybe, when you’re able to, you can come to her about her confusing mannerisms that triggers your disorder.

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous You never having a relationship could be what the source is. You know that normally, people aren’t always around you, bisexual and possibly very much so flirting with you and it’s giving you a feeling of romance. Do you find her attractive at all? Like.. are you in any way interested in women/men or are you aromantic?

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@MelaninMoet She is a very naturally flirty person and I try not to read to much into it, it’s hard sometimes tho. I think I might have to talk to her in the future, I just need to find what to say. Thank you for all your help and support I really appreciate it ❤️❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@MelaninMoet Thank you ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@MelaninMoet I have always liked guys and never thought about being in a relation with a girl until someone asked me if I was a lesbian because I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think the reason I’ve never had a boyfriend is because I was alway uncomfortable in my own skin I didn’t want people to get too close to hurt me. I was/am overweight and I think any guy that likes me thinks it’s a joke. Putting down my wall is too scary. I think she is pretty but I don’t see myself in a relationship like that but ocd will say otherwise.

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Wow. I really appreciate you taking time to be so vulnerable with me about your situation and it really made me understand you more. her personality speaks for itself. She’s just more comfortable in her own skin. This is definitely something that you should talk to her about. I can understand you thinking that you’re the butt of the joke when it comes to men showing interesting you, but please know that not everybody is as caring about looks or size. You really seem like a considerate sweet person and if you have her being comfortable enough to be around you everyday, I KNOW FOR A FACT you’ll find a lover to feel the same. Absolutely NOTHING is wrong with you. Just learn to fall in love with yourself, in due time, it will happen. And you’re welcome. 💕

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@MelaninMoet Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and listen. It’s hard to deal with this by myself. I really needed to hear this. I really need to learn to love myself and become more comfortable in my own skin. Thank you for giving my the hope that I will be able to find someone! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

MelaninMoet

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous 🥹 don’t make me cry 💕 you’re so welcome!! You were always going to prevail. Take your time falling in love with you. I know for a fact you’ll expect no less from anyone else. 🫶🏾 have a great day!!

FoxMan

Date posted: 24w

Overthinking if my friend has feelings for me

So, this may or may not be OCD, but I have been overthinking about this for a while. Also, it does not help that my friends and family say I should try and date my friend. I’m a 24 year old guy and my birthday was yesterday, and for my birthday, my good female friend brought me a PS5. She works at a hospital, and she and her friends always give each big gifts, plus she makes a good amount of money (like she pays twice as much as she should on her car note just so she can pay it off faster) so I’m sure she didn’t have to try and save up for it. I was hesitant to tell my friends about it because they were going to assume that she might like me, and I have been overthinking about that before a few times myself. However, she told me about two situationships she was in and asked for advice about one of the guys, so I didn’t think she liked me and she calls me her twin. I eventually did tell my friends in some family members and of course they asked if I thought she liked me. When I respond that I don’t think she does, they tell me that a PS5 is a really big gift like I don’t know that a PS5 is a big gift. They also say that friends normally don’t buy each other big gifts unless they like each other or someone likes the other one. This of course sparked anxiety, and I am now currently overthinking about it right now. Thinking about past interactions such as one time she invited me to go bowling and I thought our coworkers were coming as well because we all went out to go bowling one time but she was just inviting me alone, and I turned it down because I I was afraid it was gonna be a date (she straight up, said she was asking me out). There was one time we’re hanging out in my car past midnight and I kept thinking that I should probably cut this short. Also, this is making me question if I should like her. Maybe, there’s some false attraction there. I’ve been getting the thought that I should like her and I should take her out however it’s never me actually wanting to do it. I don’t know. I don’t want this to get too long but what are you guys think? I’m gonna go talk to my therapist about it on Friday.

abreeclarey

Date posted: 22w

Overthinking this guy again…

Every time we go out together and it’s not just us it’s also our manager and her son and his (the guy I’m talking to) roommate. We went to church one time alone. But my thing is I keep overthinking “am I leading him on” I still don’t know what to feel just and I’ve never been in a relationship. When we see each other we hold hands and and hug but I don’t want to kiss just yet even though I get the feeling to because I want to take it very slow especially when. I’m constantly overthinking everything. We hang out and I’m having a good time and then I go home and overthink a lot. It’s worse when I’m overthinking when waking up. Has anyone else experienced this. Like we’re friends right now but does anyone think it’s to soon to be holding hands and hugging. We held hands the second time meeting because I’m aware I want to take things slow. When I see him I get happy. I keep seeking reassurance from my mom, sister and google (of course) and I keep seeing post that you shouldn’t lead someone on and you can’t force to like someone. I overthink and then I’m calm and the thoughts start again. I really don’t want to hurt this guy he is so sweet and caring

stuckonathought

Date posted: 14w

Stopping telling my friends things

There’s this guy I just worked with who honestly felt like another version of me, someone who I could get along with massively. Everything we’d talk about was the same, our interest, our taste in films and music, it felt amazing to have someone to chat to. I can’t lie he was also physically very much my type, so I do fancy him. I said to my friend that I think I found the love of my life, but the sad thing is he’s taken so I’ll take having a crush dip and suppress the fact I fancy him and she went all serious with me. Started saying “good because that can ruin a friendship, especially with a girlfriend”, and it wasn’t meant to be so deep and now it’s got me massively overthinking. I’ve only known him a very short time but I wanted a friendship to be there yk, we’ll never really see one another every again after the festival but it felt nice to have had such a good friendship, even if I feel like I’m another life he would be the perfect one. Can I not feel like that and still have a friendship? I’m never gonna do anything about it, I currently like someone else and he also has a gf, but can I not joke about it without it being all serious? I’m massively overthinking it

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