my ocd fears are starting to come true …. I knew I was the exception , i knew it was never ocd despite years of therapy and now look where ive ended up …. Two of my fears have come true. i can’t live like this anymore
But it's bothering you so bad. That speaks volumes. It's doesn't seem to be what you want.
@ElevenB but i still committed the act of my worst fear , so i have to hold myself accountable in some way. Like it still happpened :(
@Anonymous what do you mean by they came true, sorry i’m just trying to understand :)
@LiIac like I acted on my worst fears
@Anonymous it didn’t involve anyone physically but it does involve someone else mentally
@Anonymous So are you saying it wasn't a physical act but a mental act?
@Anonymous But it didn't physically happen?
@Anonymous ohhh i understand now thankyou :) was it like an image or you purposely thought of something by any chance?
@LiIac i can say what i did but at ur discretion, bc it could be triggering and my ocd theme is sexual obsessions and incest ocd
@ElevenB it was physical involving myself not anyone else
@Anonymous Ok.
@ElevenB i can share if you’d like but it is triggering
@Anonymous I don't know if NOCD would flag it or not. Have you emailed your therapist?
@Anonymous i understand that, if you don’t feel comfortable to that’s completely ok :)
@ElevenB I just emailed to schedule w her not about what happened
@LiIac so basically my ocd is sexual obsessions attached to my cousin in another country and im hypersexual. my worst fear is m@sturbating to him and today i did bc my compulsions involve a lot of testing and checking (mostly staring at pictures) but today i like snapped when looking at a pic of him. it was really scary and i feel like a bad person now
@Anonymous i also didn’t fully go thru w it bc after like a second or two I threw my phone away bc I realized i was doing something wrong
@Anonymous You are not a bad person. It is OCD. Try to calm down til you can talk to your therapist
Ok. I hope you will talk to someone about these fears you are having. I do ERP but I understand if you can't do it.
i feel you.
@Nameless000 like i just don’t know how to go on anymore
You are doubting your diagnosis. OCD lies and manipulates. I had to sit in church this morning doing ERP because of the lies and feelings. I know the OCD conqueror badge is just a recognition but it tells that you have made some improvement. Maybe this video will help. https://youtu.be/W70dKVvbNtc?si=f8GXFOZi4FCHQPOM.
@ElevenB yeah but the fact my fears came true when other people’s never do, just proves that mine is different and that I could just be a secret pervert with horrible desires
I'm sorry this is happening. Were you diagnosed as OCD?
@Cynthiawedding1 yes
Do you have a therapist you can text?
@ElevenB i can email her
@Anonymous I don’t see one thru NOCD anymore bc I have comorbid disorders so I couldn’t just do ERP
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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