Does anyone else with ROCD get plagued with constantly assuming the worst of their partner? Is this something that anyone has gotten through? It is like my OCD is forcing me to look for reasons to doubt if my wife is a making a decision or taking an action that makes her a bad person. Any tips on how to handle these obsessions in the moment? What would an ERP approach look like here?
Can you give me an example?
For example, I have a fear that she might not be handling a certain situation in a fair way, but I have that obsessive anxiety that it may be true, but I also know that i do not know much about the situation to really make that judgement. So even though I feel like I am obsessively worrying about it (and have had similar obsessions in the past) is it still a compulsion to ask for clarification to be assured that it is not what I think?
@Tmars This is a great question. I realize with myself too that I have difficulty figuring out what is compulsive and what isn’t. Usually what helps me is figuring out my intention behind it. For example, am I doing this out of anxiety or curiosity.
Yes, I feel this 100% with my partner. I get angry with him and realize I don’t even have full context of why he did something and yet I’m assigning intent. It gives me a bit of relief to know I’m not alone in that. I try to get myself to think about the same situation, imagining the best intentions even though it’s not my first thought usually.
It Is so tough! And I guess I am wondering where you draw the line in not doing a mental compulsion like rationalizing what upset me, vs actually addressing the situation. But most of the time, it is a situation that probably should not be a make or break thing and that is sometimes a signal that It has something to do with OCD. It is SOOOO hard to just not address Because we want to feel good towards our partner but it's like we can't help it
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well
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