ROCD help

@jordyng09 Worrying about divorce (even though I’m not engaged yet) just intense fear of the future and wondering if I’m in the right relationship or if I’m lying to myself

@shaybaby8 Fear of the future. Not knowing what’s my ocd or if this is intuition. Being afraid that a marriage will end in divorce. If there’s something huge that I’m missing. If other relationships don’t have any doubts. If our sex life is normal. Tons of black or white thinking

@OCDoingmybest Oh I see! Well my best advice to you would be to really ground yourself in the present moment, find gratitude in the now and try to release any expectations for the future because truthfully, we never know what will happen (not to scare you but just to remind you that all we have is now). I don’t know much about this person but if you guys love each other and want to make things work, you will! Communication is key and engaging in that will help keep the relationship healthy. With something huge you’re missing (which I doubt is the case), remember that everything may not be shared in a relationship right away, especially if you’re in a new one. Try to keep in mind that over time you will share things with each other and try to also be okay with the fact that your partner may not be comfortable sharing everything. If there was something huge, I’m sure you wouldn’t miss it 😉 and doubts…everyone has doubts in relationships! I’ve been in one for 6 years and I get doubts a lot! It’s just your brain try to remember that. (Also my sister is a relationship therapist and she’s told me almost EVERY relationship has doubts) so don’t worry. And if you feel there’s something wrong with your sex life, maybe bring it up to your partner or a licensed sex therapist. You have many options friend! Hope this helped to ease a little tension. Hang in there I know this stuff gets hard.

@OCDoingmybest And here’s something I follow. Intuition is sort of like a knowing rather than a voice in your head. Also, if it causes you anxiety and rumination it’s most likely ocd

@shaybaby8 This is super helpful. I haven’t stopped with anxiety and rumination and I’ve been picking apart every single thing he does. He has been super supportive but I feel like I keep talking about my anxiety which is probably a compulsion and sometimes he knows what to say but not always. He says he’s not going anywhere but I can’t help but wonder if I’ll become too much for him

@shaybaby8 We’ve been together for 4 years and I love him so much he’s so supportive and loving. I also feel like we have some different love languages

@OCDoingmybest Wow he sounds like an amazing person. I understand picking apart things he does I do the same to my bf sometimes. Yeah telling your partner about your anxiety can become a compulsion so I’d try not to do it all the time, it teaches your brain it’s not as much of a threat as you think. Also from what you’ve said it sounds like he loves you very much. I’m kind of worried about becoming too much for my bf too but I’d just try to remember that he loves you but it’s also good to know that for people with ocd, telling them what you’re going through constantly (as a compulsion) might tire them out a bit. If you can keep it in sometimes that would teach your brain the trick I was talking about! Thats what my ocd therapist said

@shaybaby8 @shaybaby8 How do I know the difference between a gut feeling vs intuition vs anxiety/ocd

@OCDoingmybest I’m honestly still trying to figure that out myself. For me, intuition is more like a knowing that has a peaceful way about it whereas the voice in my head gives me anxiety and makes me feel distressed. Just from what I know spiritually, intuition shouldn’t be associated with anxiety or discomfort and should be a quick response whereas ocd kind of plays over and over

@shaybaby8 I made an ROCD WhatsApp group if you wanna join https://chat.whatsapp.com/GY13ZwBUDcJ4FYSFq5iddU

@shaybaby8 Yeah it’s hard. I’m also trying to figure out if relationship doubts and issues mean I need to leave because my brain screams intrusively at me to leave and that it’s the only way to make the thoughts stop

@OCDoingmybest I get those intrusive thoughts too. I almost did leave one time too but if this person is really special to you, maybe the ocd thoughts can be just an annoyance that you learn to ignore. That’s how it is for me now, sometimes I get bothered but I literally say in my head “I’m not going to engage with you right now” and then I remember why I love that person

@shaybaby8 How long did it take you to get past it

@OCDoingmybest Honestly I still struggle with it sometimes but I’d say I was able to get past the really intrusive thoughts within 6 months. Something I used to do as a spiritual being was write out what was bothering me on a piece of paper, offer it to the universe, then burn it. It felt like a nice release.

@shaybaby8 Have you been meeting with an NOCD therapist about it?

@OCDoingmybest I haven’t actually, I’m new to this app, have you tried out that feature yet? Can you text them or does it have to be over video I wonder

@shaybaby8 Yes I have a therapist it’s amazing. You can text them!

@OCDoingmybest is it free?