Just got off a call with my new OCD therapist and ERP is so exhausting 😭 Intentionally triggering the anxiety feels so wrong, I know everyone says it’s the gold standard but ugh. My body feels like it’s run a marathon. I just want a vacation from this sh*t. I’m not giving up. Just needed a place to vent and knew you all would understand. Mad respect for those of you who have been doing ERP for years. It’s so hard 🥺
Take a rest you sound like you deserve it. I like to get some ice cream and a nap after.
My therapist said its a lifestyle and that scared me. But then i remembered my old OCD “types” like harm ocd are always still in my mind they just NEVER distress me anymore. Why? I did ERP yes- but my mind still replies to it in ERP talk. I still expose myself as not a force but a practice. Because it eventually became my natural rhythm. You WILL get trough this :D ERP will become second nature. You will train your mind to be an athlete of conquering fear. You got this!!!!
I feel this! I had my first session today and just talking about doing ERP in future sessions had my anxiety levels up! We can do this though! 🤗
Awesome job taking the first step! It’s difficult but it’s worth every triggering moment
It gets easier the more you do it. It's difficult at first. Keep in mind what you want to gain from it when it gets tough and do it like it's not enough for you and you want more. (I know it won't feel good but it's what I did)
Talk to your therapist, I don't think it's good thing to be exhausted, you have to take it step by step, in your pace. Also: be aware of not whiteknuckling your way through the exposures. Instead lean into the anxiety with an attitude of willingness to let the emotions show up.
This is so true to! I did go through a period of white knuckling, and that hinders progress. You have to find the place where you're pushing yourself, but not so hard that you are not experiencing the process.
I’m so sorry for what you are going through I’ve been there it’s so hard 💕❤️
Hey, it is HARD, I get it, don't be discouraged. This feeling you're feeling right now though is actually necessary. It is because your brain is changing, our brains want the repetition of our safety behaviors. Because we have done them in the past, our brains want that same pattern because that pattern we (our brains) perceived as keeping us safe. Now, since you're triggered and not doing the safety behavior, your brain is sending out all kinds of signals. Like Katie O'Dunne says, "stick with the ick" and eventually it will fade.
Moment of honesty here: I’ve been resisting compulsions pretty consistently the last day or so and I feel absolutely terrible. I’ve been doing ERP and I feel absolutely terrible. Plus my OCD is telling me that, since the things that the things I’m told will help me aren’t yet, I must actually be trans. Though it’s a slightly different kind of terrible. Of course this makes sense. With ERP you’re triggering yourself on purpose, and by refusing compulsions you’re cutting yourself off from the thing that would give you (very short term) relief. I just have to sit with the doubt, the uncertainty, the fear, the possibility, and try to accept it. The near constant anxiety, of always having that vague feeling of being on the verge of tears, or like I’ve been crying even though I haven’t. Of course I feel terrible. But it’s also hard not to be discouraged. Especially when I hear people say they felt some manner of relief from the start of therapy. I’m told that this will eventually subside, that I’ll feel normal again, but that feels like a very long way off, if it ever even comes.
Guys I’ve been working my butt off at ERP and getting my reassurance down to 0. At same time, I feel so awful and am so worked up over the fact that I’m not feeling better yet. I’m so worked up. I feel like this will never get better. I’m so sad. Idk what to do. I love my therapist and believe in my erp plan, but I don’t feel results yet after so much hard work. I’m drained and want my life back.
Just kind of an ERP vent. Anyone wanna talk about this experience? It’s bumming me out. So I’ve been doing ERP exercises daily to help myself get over this theme. I started out with ERP towards the gender I have had intrusive thoughts about (men), and it helped knock out a lot of the intrusive stuff and false attractions, but working on my ERP towards women has been rather difficult. I’m still getting mental blocks. I’m trying to expose myself to them and get over false anxiety and other negative false emotions. It’s worked, but it feels like I’m stuck right now. Anyone else getting frustrated? I know ERP is a process, but it feels like it’s taking absolutely forever. Anyone wanna talk / vent about ERP frustrations?
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