I don’t want this to sound like reassurance, I’m just not sure. I’m pretty new to this and not officially diagnosed yet. But please can I ask- I am constantly thinking about this everyday, from the minute I wake up until I go to sleep. It used to ease off but not so much anymore. It’s not so much the original rOCD thoughts anymore (although they’re still there, I’m struggling to find them, I’m just feeling more lost and sad) but I’m constantly questioning is this OCD, or ‘I don’t have that symptom so it can’t be’ or ‘these therapists just want your money, there is no such this as rOCD’. I’m feeling sort of sad really- and my brain is telling me it’s my relationship but there’s nothing wrong with my relationship. Is it normal to be thinking like this, all day every day- is that obsessing? (I know this sounds like a silly question but my brain is playing all sorts of games with me at the moment!)

I’m at the stage where I’m doubting if I even have OCD (which is driving me mad) and now I’m worried I’m not obsessing enough over things. At the same time, my OCD is playing whack-a-mole with loads of different themes, and because I’ve already been through the ringer with SO-OCD, I feel as though I’m not obsessing enough over it even though I’m still scared I’m gay/bi and the compulsions are getting sneakier (internet searches, checking, panicking and talking about things, avoidance) and I just feel like a mess constantly, like I don’t know what’s going on with me from day to day.

A big worry for me is that the thoughts are 24-7, no matter what I’m doing. Sometimes the thoughts are more in the background and sometimes really noisy, but they are always there. I worry that because the thoughts are constant it means they aren’t OCD as i read a lot about thoughts coming and going. They also keep evolving, it’s like when I get more used to one lot of thoughts, new ones come to create more anxiety and that feeds another thought and another thought. Anyone relate? I’m exhausted and broken.

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this