Soocd and love

I was talking to my mom on the phone last nigh and her friend was next to her. Out of nowhere her friend asked me « so do you love your bf? » I was like yeah he’s cute ( because I didnt want to elaborate and what kind of question is that) and she goes like yeah but if he’s cute that doesn’t mean you love him. I was yes I love him. And then she asked « do you guys fight? Because if you don’t there is a problem » and the thing is when I fight with my bf I dont feel « that sad » or that mad. However when I fight with my girl best friends or just any girl friend I have I feel so bad and I am always soooo mad. And there is this idea in my head ( I read it somewhere but I dont know where) that when you fight with someone and gets super sad or super mad and that person makes you go crazy that means you love him. But im not like this with my bf. Sometimes we can fight and I dont even feel bad after just conscious of the fact that we fought. Does this mean I dont really love him? Because love is supposed to make you go crazy sometimes no?

Sexual Orientation OCD

TBdiz89

Date posted: 1y ago

Me and my fiancé have been together for 6 years going on 7 and we have never had a proper big fight. We bicker but we have never had a massive argument. Neither of us are confrontational and we try and resolve our issues calmly. I personally think as said above that it is the sign of a healthy and mature relationship.

m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

Everybody is different and you have to remember that. People online love making up thing like „if you don’t stalk your crush to death and to the point of showing up at his front door when he doesn’t even know you, do you even love him?“ when I’m reality that’s just absolute bs. Plus maybe it’s because you’ve known your girl friends for a longer time than him and so obviously there’s also a connection.

Anonymousesti

Date posted: 1y ago

The problem is that I know myself and im a very emotional person. But with him im not and I hate that. And for my friends I guess yeah but there are some that I met a year ago …. i just feel like im lying yo myself

Lost-

Date posted: 1y ago

Love isn’t just one thing, it’s different for everyone and you will experience it differently with every relationship. But I will say, unless you’re engaged or have been together for a really long time, you shouldn’t put so much pressure on working out whether you absolutely love him or not, there should be no perilous jeopardy of do I?, don’t I? Because it would be hard for any relationship to bare that weight and it will just skew the natural dynamic of your relationship. Try instead to focus on being yourself, the only time you should really start questioning that is if your needs aren’t being met and you feel like you can’t see it going anywhere, at which point you can just pause and take stock. I know OCD doesn’t give a fuck about reason though so it’s easy for me to say but very hard to implement, but just find peace in knowing you don’t have to have all the answers and don’t put so much pressure on yourself

Anonymousesti

Date posted: 1y ago

We have been together for 6 years….. omg

Lost-

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymousesti Either way, you don’t have to have an answer to placate your Mum’s friend’s idea of love. Find your happy medium, what works for you and your partner, and don’t be afraid of either answer. Maybe you do love him, maybe you don’t. You can be okay with both.

anonymous1315

Date posted: 1y ago

My OCD sometimes likes to tell me I don’t love my boyfriend (also been dating 6 years) enough because we don’t fight enough or I’m not jealous enough etc. It’s just trying to cling onto reasoning that bothers you. Fighting with friends is a totally different dynamic, don’t compare the two, and don’t let a comment from your moms friend dictate how you feel. I would think not feeling super mad/crazy fighting with your bf is a good thing! It sounds like you have a healthy/safe relationship. I know it’s hard, but try not to overthink it.

Solrose

Date posted: 23w ago

“I hate you” thought

Does anyone else get “I hate you” thoughts towards their loved ones? For me specifically it’s towards my mom. I have harm OCD and it tends to be directed towards my mom. I have always been close to my mom, she’s my best friend and I know I do love her. I had not ever questioned my love or closeness to her before. However, now with this flare up, I keep getting “I hate you” thoughts whenever I’m with my mom. Even just looking at her can bring this thought into my head. I don’t feel anxiety towards it, but it does make me feel sad and down. I ruminate about how I truly feel, like I’m testing my feelings towards her - do I really hate her? Have my feelings changed and I know longer love her? I have told her this before, out of guilt and seeking reassurance, and she knows I have OCD, but it makes me feel guilty to tell her that since I know it makes her sad. So I guess my main question is, does anyone else get these kind of thoughts? And then do you question your feelings and just feel hesitant to even be around the person?

aza holmes

Date posted: 23w ago

Love

I’m confused. I think I’ve gotten progressively more boy crazy and more of a hopeless romantic, but I’ve completely manipulated myself into thinking that boys just don’t like me and I think it’s a fact. In the past, I was confused and lost on what my sexuality was so I would be in a lot of “flirty” friendships thinking that I genuinely liked my female friends I had these friendships with but that was far from the truth. I can’t imagine myself being with a woman but for some reason it’s just easier for me to talk and flirt with them. I have trauma involving why I brainwashed myself into thinking that I’m a magnet that repels boys from me and I still think that and it’s ruining my brain. (I have a crush on this guy and texted him for the first time, he never replied!!!) which honestly proves my point even more. Am I right or is just all in my head? Some advice please!!

King silly

Date posted: 21w ago

Is this ocd?

I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know

Relationship OCD

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