Am I unlovable

That's actually a horrible thing to ever say to someone, I hope she learns to never say stupid things like that to anyone again. I'm so sorry though:( there's no way that you're unlovable, you have friends and family that love you:)

And ocd is very much bullying u into thinking that it's a fact when really its not.

I’ve learned that some people don’t really know what to say in these situations. I wouldn’t put a lot into the comment if you can, which I get is easier said than done. Work on yourself the best you can and the right person won’t care about the “scars” but about what’s inside.

I think it's important to: 1) Remember - You don't technically need reassurance; everyone is loveable, everyone is intrinsically worthy, and everyone has a past. I also struggled with self-harm, I've also asked myself if I was unloveable being a trans man (born F, started Testosterone when I was 18... Anyway!..), and I also judge myself too harshly based on what others say/or what I believe they think about me lol. ***Key point = If you're going to compare yourself, compare the good parts of you to the good parts that everyone has. I've found it extremely helpful at least :) AND 2) Remind yourself that you are NOT your OCD, nor your thoughts, nor your actions, nor what society caters to. What I mean specifically here is: Every single thing in this world is here for a reason, however large or small or whatever; it is. Radical acceptance is similar to ERP, I've found accepting myself as my inner will is much healthier than accepting myself as whatever society has us think. Personalize the good parts - shift your gaze to the smaller, meaningful, sweet things in life - compare yourself to a healing butterfly, a tiger's fur, an innocent child needing a hug. I've found it boosts my self esteem, especially as a man, actually! (Because it helps me let go of gender roles / dismissing myself) TLDR: Change the scale of your view when your thoughts try to turn you against your life. Your life is intrinsically valuable EXACTLY AS ALL lives. When it feels less so, ask yourself "so what, if that were to happen, I wouldn't die. And if I did, worrying about this wouldn't matter anyways because I cannot control [the other side of] life after that." AKA: When things feel too big, think smaller. When things feel insignificant, connect more. Hope this helps!!! ❤ (new here, unsure whether reassurance-granting is allowed as I made a post that gave me rules to not ask for reassurance because it's unhelpful... True in my experience as well, anyway yeah, thanks for listening!)

Also, whatever friend said that in the past was a reflection of your past fears. You control what you give attention to. Why give the past so much power, ya know? Your friend very likely said that because he cares about you, and I've been loved despite my scars. Keep loving yourself regardless!!! Love yourself anyway because you deserve only the best love. ❤

I feel you. And I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't want to get personal, but I knew someone who self harmed, and I loved them the same before and after I found out. And I care about you regardless. I don't care how you look, I just care about how you feel. I don't want you to stop self harming because of cosmetics, I want you to stop because it's hurting an amazing person. If you wish to talk, I'll be here to listen :)

hey there, i just want to say i hear you and i'm really sorry you're going through this tough time. it's incredibly hard when the people closest to us don't understand the depth of our struggles, especially with something as personal as OCD and self-harm. i've got my own battles with Pure O, and even though our obsessions differ, the pain and the fight feel so familiar. just know that you're not alone in this and i'm here to listen whenever you need to vent or share. 🖤 i want to share something with you that my therapist recommended and it's been a game-changer for me. it's a free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (www.AIOCDtool.com). for your specific situation, where these intrusive thoughts about being unlovable are haunting you, "unstuck" could be really helpful. it's designed to guide you like a therapist would when you're overwhelmed by OCD. you just type in what's on your mind, and it'll help you work through it step-by-step. i totally get the eye-roll at app promotions, but i promise that's not what i'm doing. this tool has genuinely been a lifeline for me, and i hope it can offer you some relief too. if you've got any questions or just want to chat about it, i'm all ears. remember, your worth and your capacity to be loved are not defined by your scars or OCD. take care.