Yall I’ve been deceived. Bamboozled. I thought I was going through a religious awakening, but really it was just OCD. Any other people go through this? I prayed morning and night, Bible throughout the day, stopped listening to music, and I was MISERABLE. I respect those who are religious, but personally I became really emotionally damaged after this experience.
Wow I’d love to hear more, I feel I can relate
@Megannreneea So i started my first semester of college in september, and at the time I was going through some really terrible anxiety and existential ocd. I didnt know at the time what ocd was but it was daily panic attacks for me. So I decided i needed to find god. I needed to know the truth and then everything would be ok. Well i stumbled upon reddit and everyone was arguing back and forth over the existence of God. I was VERY fear motivated. I didn’t feel particularly convinced and I was really struggling with thoughts like, is this the wrong religion? Maybe islam is the truth? So i started watching youtube, fell down a rabbit hole. Felt so trapped and felt such strong anxiety that j felt it was God trying to bring me closer to him through my hardship. So i began reading the bible. Praying, obsessing over what is right and wrong. I was into girls before this especially in love with this one girl for a few years and i was so scared of condemnation that I focus solely on being terrified of the lord. But it wasn’t true faith. It was anxiety. Anxiety was the driving force. I felt trapped for months but pretended i was getting better so my parents wouldnt notice. A few weeks ago I realized I have ocd. I began watching videos on ocd, “wow, this is me!!” And then i saw something about religious ocd and I had this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. At first i was like “that’s just the devil trying to tempt me” but as I started learning more about ocd, i realized my “newfound faith” and my “drastic change” had literally nothing to do with faith and everything to do with OCD and compulsive behavior. It’s frustrating because I never thought I would be deceived like this. But im slowly recovering from that. I am realizing that if I ever will practice religion , fear will not be the driving force
@Rumpelgoocher Religion is an amazing motivator, and there are definitely things that when observed (Like the weird or unknown), are undoubtedly signaling you towards a guided mindset. (At least for me) With that said, it is also hard to separate compulsive thoughts with regular ones, especially when it comes to religion. You have to set a plan for yourself. Know what is okay for you to do, (setting boundaries) and what doesn’t align with who you are. Maybe in some ways being into women is against god’s wishes, but it is also said that within Christianity, God learns just as we do. So don’t feel ashamed of who you are. Learn to be the best version of that, and still try your best to achieve goodness. ❤️
@Sarah123uv As kind and gentle as your reply was, I truly do not think I have faith in God. My ocd tries to guilt me into performing and striving and pressure cooking myself into believing or else im going to hell. However, my rational side reads the Bible and feels a strong sense of confusion and not much conviction. I do have faith, i do have hope, I am working on love. I accept that nobody knows and we are going off of faith. I have faith that everything will be alright, that love heals, that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. However, I don’t see God as that light. I do believe there was a first mover who created all of this but I am not convinced that he is tied to any religion or book. With that being said, I love and respect religious people because they strive for being good and for morality and procreation, and all of that is absolutely what society needs.
Can anyone share their experiences with Religious OCD and how you came to realize it was OCD thoughts and not a true spiritual experience. Thank you
I used to have religious OCD. Still kinda do. Accidentally thought something bad about God once, panicked thought something bad about the Holy Spirit. Fell into doom. This was recently after recomitting myself to Christ. Since then I pretty much gave up. Unfortunately, it also led to me compromising my morals many times because I figured I was going to hell anyway. I wish I knew what OCD was then. I think it would have saved me a lot of pain. I no longer have a relationship with God, and fear I never will again.
Hi! I have been struggling with ocd for many years of my life, however, I have recently been struggling with religious ocd. Currently my ocd has been putting thought into my mind like, “you shouldn’t go to that party, because “God” doesn’t what you to” or “don’t do this or else it’s going to make “God” mad.” These thoughts have been overall causing me so much anxiety, and truly I don’t know what to do. I’ve been struggling to identify it’s actually Gods voice or not. Also, my ocd has been also making my prayer a very stressful part of my day, which is not how it should feel at all. Now finding peace in prayer feels more like a chore, than a conversation. Does anybody else have ocd like this? If so, any tips?
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