Well, I didn't enjoy my ERP :) although it helped immensely. The one thing I wish I would have realized at the beginning, and maybe I did know this, but it took me awhile to get onboard, was that yes the anxiety is going to go up, that is the whole point, and where I made my mistake was I would reassure myself (in my head) that it was going to be ok. That reassurance didn't help. So, actual ERP experiences (there were many) when it came to physical symptoms: my therapist and I worked out that I went to my regular doctor appointments as scheduled. PERIOD. Anything that happened in between appointments, I "took the risk" that it was OCD and did nothing about it. No reassurance seeking, no Googling, no calling the doctor, no checking etc. Oh my gosh this was so hard!!!! I would cry, feel miserable, be sure I was going to die etc. The I listened to this podcast with Kelly Renee and Mark Freeman about health anxiety and how you had to be "willing to die". Ugh I felt worse, but I kinda was getting the idea. A funny thing started to happen, if I truly didn't do any compulsions (including rumination) I started to feel better :) Now I was also doing other things, we had a "one and done rule" with medical stuff (insurance, dr. reports etc.) I could read those things, (which usually triggered me) one time and that was it (again more tears and feeling awful). I also had to watch some movies where people died from illnesses, this was during covid and there was a netflix special involving a hospital. When I watched these, I sat in my misery :) again no compulsions, lots of tears and irritability on my part. Again, over time the shows bothered me less. I also had to write different diseases on post its and place them all over my house, and when I saw them, even though I was majorly triggered, I had to do no compulsions. It's funny, now it's unbelievable for me to think that I avoided going into certain rooms where I knew the post its were. Although, that was avoidance (a compulsion) and I had to go in the rooms anyway. Sorry this is so long, I have so many stories. I remember crying to my therapist saying after I had just come home from a dr. appt where everything was fine "Oh no! I discovered something else" and she was like, well remember to tell her next year. I was like "a year!!!" how am I supposed to deal with this for a year" but, guess what, I did. Hang in there, it is really hard work, I cried a lot, but I also got better. You will too!
