Ok so I’m freaking out right now guys this has really got me , I’m reading up about urges etc on the internet and like how people with harm ocd might want to harm themselves , so what if u have pocd do u urge to want to do something sexual with a child ? Surely then that does make you a pedophile or are the urges compulsions ? I’m so confused and scared about this
having POCD doesn’t make you a pedophile- you aren’t in control of these thoughts. it’s not you, it’s completely separate from you and your morals. a lot of people with pocd develop the fear that they will have a strong enough urge to act on, but they won’t. when you have OCD, it attacks you with your biggest fears, the things you are uncomfortable with, that you know doesn’t align with your morals. it uses them against you to trick you into thinking that’s who you are, but it’s not who you are! as uncomfortable as it is, you can’t let OCD win. try not to think of these uncomfortable thoughts as negative, because they will show up more often. the urges are just compulsions and thoughts, and fears. you’re afraid of something happening so you can’t stop thinking about it. if you’re scared, and you know it’s not something you’d WANT to do, you won’t do it. you’re not alone!
@deadmeat Thank you deadmeat I was so paranoid in my head thinking what is an urge for pocd is escalated I thought is it an urge to hurt children ? Surely then that makes u that person I had come up to that conclusion that that is what a pocd urge was I don’t and still don’t know what they mean by urges ? I’m confused on that one I don’t know if u can explain it to me thank you for your reply xxx
POCD (pedophile obsessions) is the ocd version of thinking of kids inappropriately and being afraid of acting on it. getting random images in your head, having groinal responses to being around or seeing kids. some people with pocd (and every other form of ocd) have “urges” to act on these things compulsively, like engaging in sexual activities with a child, ect. they aren’t real urges, it’s not you having the desire to do them, it’s the OCD telling you it’s something you need/ want to do. for me, i’ll get random intrusive thoughts involving kids, and it’s so revolting, i KNOW id never act on these thoughts or feelings because i don’t feel any attraction towards kids, it’s just the brain trying to convince me i do, so i can think im a bad person when im not. people with POCD are generally the most afraid of anything sexual involving a child, it makes them suuuper uncomfortable, and since OCD brain uses your discomfort against you, it makes you compulsively and uncontrollably think about these uncomfortable things, because they are your biggest fears. ocd is really just a mental bully
@deadmeat I don't get what type of hierchy can be done in therapy for this
Okay, so I was exposed to porn at 9. My older cousin came over to the house and asked if I could keep a secret and stuff and then he showed me porn. I got addicted to it ngl. I would watch it whenever I could and would always think about it when I wasn’t home. Because of this, I started reading mangas on this one website and I was still in elementary school when I started reading these I think, either that or middle school. Anyways, there was this one about these kids who did it and I was like oh I’m the same age as them and all that you know so I didn’t think much of it. I would still read it up to when I was in high school but I wouldn’t like read it often, I would just read it because I was familiar with it and it felt like I was still their age for some reason, like I didn’t see them as kids you know, it felt like they were my age. Oh my god, that makes it sound even worse. When my POCD started, I stopped reading that story because I was it terrified me so a little before I turned 18. I keep going back and forth on whether or not I’m actually a pedophile or not. I don’t know if it’s because I was exposed to that stuff so early and my cousin would constantly talk about sex when he was with me. I thought it was so normal to be reading and looking at that stuff. I didn’t realize. I’m scared that my nephews are going to be exposed to that so early like I was. My POCD mostly targets my nephews and now I’m scared that I’ll do the same thing to them and show them that stuff (I never will) or that I genuinely do like that stuff. I feel like throwing up while writing this. I just don’t want to be one. I’m sorry if this triggers you or if this seems like I’m seeking reassurance and maybe I am. I genuinely don’t know right now. I think I just needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been worrying about it for awhile.
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
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