Disassociation

I’ve had it a lot lately. Exhausted. Makes me depressed bc I doubt everything exists and I’m like great. I will be abandoned by people I love bc I have no certainty with the things around me and including in myself. It’s like I no longer know the truth bc I don’t trust myself with all the ocd stuff 😭. Def makes me feel like everything is an illusion and I refuse to believe that as I desire to be a Christian. Not into the whole new age stuff and it breaks my heart that my mind is taking me to those places and I want to understand God but all this pushes me away bc I feel so out of my mind.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

Sorry to hear. Been there ruminated that. It really is such an uneasy terrible feeling

Layla32

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord I feel bad for even complaining. I have a good life. I truly do. It’s just the lack of feel grounded and leading my children astray in some form is scary. I want to be secure in their identity and I just get so afraid that the existential stuff gets me so jacked up mentally at times that I’ll just confuse them. I know that’s probably just anxiety talking but it’s a major fear of mine that I’ll lead them astray or I’ll be abandoned bc of my mental health struggles. 😞

Ryan Mullen

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Layla32 Are you a very deep thinker? Do you try to think of every scenario possible so you wont get caught off guard?

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@Layla32 Hey you completely are doing great things. First your fears are valid. Those outcomes would be bad! However, you are acknowledging that it IS your anxiety which is great. You are actually balancing your complaining with things to be grateful for hence why you can still acknowledge all that you’re grateful for yet WE ALL have gripes. For us OCDemon slayers it gets difficult to sometimes focus on the good or at least remember i because of the back and forth and uncertainty that fills our mind. What certain and proven is that you love your kids and you are fighting for them to be a great mom (I’m sure you are just because you have sought out help and want to make sure they are taken care of). You haven’t given up. You’re dealing with multiple things in life at once: OCD, being a woman/mother, friendships, family, society, holidays. That’s a lot for any human. Yet you’re still here fighting the good fight. And you will get to a place where it’s consistent and EVEN IF you have an episode or feel unsure you’ve come this far and you will keep moving forward. Is there any techniques or ERP that help you ground yourself? Dealing with existential your mind is not only figuring out reality it’s looking for solid answers which of course is the issue. Some answers will get solved and some won’t but no matter what you’ll keep being a great mother to your kids. Even if you make mistakes (all parents do even great ones) and evey person makes mistakes even ppl I hold very highly still mess up. That’s just a part of the game. Just have to accept it and keep on playing!

Layla32

Date posted: 1y

@Ryan Mullen It’s possible. I’m just really struggling.

Cantal

Date posted: 25w

Theme switch: Scrupolosity

OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?

moon0270

Date posted: 19w

OCD

Makes me feel lost. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

PRIV8

Date posted: 15w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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Disassociation

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