- Date posted
- 1y
Embarrassed
I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”
I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”
This has happened to me too. I agree with the obsession such as yeah it was embarrassing and others might have noticed. Or others might think differently about me now. Whatever the thing your brain is torturing you about agree that it might be or is true.
Thank you!
This happened to me today at work and was tortured by embarrassment. I fell in front of a coworker who is not kind to me at work. I ruminated for a lot of today obsessing over things she might say to someone. My therapist helps me stay in the middle “maybe I did embarrass myself” “I will never know how someone else feels” “I can’t read other people’s mind to know for sure” “I am not listening to you OCD for the answers to questions that we can’t know” “I am not letting you torture me anymore” or I like to say “Thank you for your unhelpful input I am not forcing you to make me ruminate on this” or I imagine like an ❌ symbol with the sound of like an x buzzer on a game show lol hope this helps if not helpful just know there is someone out there who is still learning like you 🖤
@Ken! this is helpful - thank you
@Ken! Ken, I love that X trick. That’s great! I’ll have to remember that. And it’s a good way to break the rumination.
Hi everyone, I’m new here, and I wanted to share my experience. I’ve been struggling for over a year now on obsessing over a mistake. And the rumination of the mistake I made has been overwhelming and exhausting in those two years. I feel like such a horrible person. At the time, I didn’t realize what I was doing would affect me so much. When I realized it was wrong, I just said I’ll never do it again, and I moved on. But then months later, I was reminded of what I did, and I felt like I did the worst thing in the world, and that my life will never be normal again. And ever since then, it’s been a constant thought. And it’s exhausting. I have been able to open up to my family and a close friend about it and their reactions were so nonchalant compared to what my brain has been telling me. They say it wasn’t even that bad, and that I shouldn’t be beating myself up. I tell them how badly I feel and they just act like it was nothing. I thought that would help, but my brain continues to tell me how horrible of a person I am and I obsess over this one mistake I made two years ago. I’ve learned from it, I’ve moved on, I’ve opened up about it, I’ve gotten reassurance, but yet it still eats at me. It’s constant some days. Where all I wanna do is lay down in a corner and never leave. I feel like my life will never be normal again and I’ll never experience happiness again. Whenever I smile or feel any type of joy my brain tells me to stop and reminds me that I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve to be happy. Even though everyone tells me what I did wasn’t even that bad. And that it doesn’t make me who I am. But guess it’s not enough and I’m really running out of options.
I think all of us have made mistakes, wether in childhood or teenage years and adulthood. I’ve made terrible mistakes when I was younger ( childhood ) and I’ve been regretting my actions and dealing with severe shame and guilt, I came out okay in the end and been the ideal kid I should’ve been when I was younger. I changed but hearing people like close family saying they would judge past mistakes and you’re allowed to judge, makes me feel horrible. because only if they knew…
I genuinely feel like the worlds most horrible person deeply for my past actions in childhood and general mistakes I’ve made. I feel like I shouldn’t be here or there’s no hope for me despite doing right ( trying to do right ) I’ve wanted to open up to my mom about things from my past but when I was talking to her about a situation that happened just to share, she was like “Thank God you’ve never done anything like that” But really my past mistakes are worst. It’s like I feel like I should disappear. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt and I feel horrible. I’ve made good and bad decisions but despite this being a long time ago ( which doesn’t erase my stupid actions ) I still keep bringing back into the present and I’m filled with guilt I genuinely think it would be better if I wasn’t here. I wake up think about my past things and I’m filled with guilt and shame that maybe I am a bad person and voices don’t stop, they keep telling me a lot of things that I start to believe. It makes me upset that I did something like that in my past and I try to be understanding but I can imagine the reactions of people and being condemned so much. I literally do this to myself every single day and it’s exhausting I don’t know how you guys can treat me with so much compassion and understanding. It really doesn’t feel real or like I deserve it. Like even on nocd, it makes me feel worst because I come across comments that say “as long as it’s not —-“ or something and I compare it to my past and I feel like a horrible unacceptable person.
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