I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”
This has happened to me too. I agree with the obsession such as yeah it was embarrassing and others might have noticed. Or others might think differently about me now. Whatever the thing your brain is torturing you about agree that it might be or is true.
Thank you!
This happened to me today at work and was tortured by embarrassment. I fell in front of a coworker who is not kind to me at work. I ruminated for a lot of today obsessing over things she might say to someone. My therapist helps me stay in the middle “maybe I did embarrass myself” “I will never know how someone else feels” “I can’t read other people’s mind to know for sure” “I am not listening to you OCD for the answers to questions that we can’t know” “I am not letting you torture me anymore” or I like to say “Thank you for your unhelpful input I am not forcing you to make me ruminate on this” or I imagine like an ❌ symbol with the sound of like an x buzzer on a game show lol hope this helps if not helpful just know there is someone out there who is still learning like you 🖤
@Ken! this is helpful - thank you
@Ken! Ken, I love that X trick. That’s great! I’ll have to remember that. And it’s a good way to break the rumination.
I don’t expect anyone to give me any reassurance that I’m a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I don’t want to fight anymore, I can’t do it. I’m a bad person. I can’t see the light anymore I don’t think I can get better from this anymore, I think I’m gonna give up, I’m actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof I’m a bad person, I thought about it so I just can’t. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I don’t know why I did this cause I know it’s wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like “do you think he’s handsome” and I said “maybe I don’t know, I don’t think he’s handsome. He might be” and oh my god I can’t believe I said something like this, I know some will say “oh it might be intrusive” but I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m done. I don’t even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I can’t stand it, I can’t do this anymore
I did a few sexual compulsions (only with myself of course) in the past (2 months ago , did it couple of times) and I regret it BADLY I want to die every time because of that because of the guilt that I can’t handle it I feel like a monster I can’t move on from this. I feel like I deserve nothing in life. I prefer to kill myself then do it again. Like what went on my mind. I wanted to check and get rid of the thought but I can’t live with the shame. I posted this a few times but cant move on. What I did was BAD sexual compulsion. My therapist said to me that people with ocd can have a sever compulsions. And I think I told her about this compulsion but I think she forgot so I’m planning to said it to her again so she will tell me if it’s actually ocd or not. And the fact that I did have another themes before Pocd but I don’t know if I have Pocd anymore cause I feel like a monster and like I crossed the line. I’m terrified that I went to far. I regret I badly. There is not a single day I’m not thinking about it and want to kill my self. That compulsion is against my morals like I become the person I was afraid of all the time. The shame will it me until the day that I die
I have sent nudes before when I was younger and I am really struggling with the fact that I have sent them because it makes me feel like I am such a bad person and I don’t deserve certain things. I try my hardest to be a good person and do the right things but I obviously have made lots and lots of mistakes. I cannot get over these mistakes I’ve made because I judge myself so hard for them and it’s making it hard to function.
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