- Date posted
- 1y
Embarrassed
I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”
I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”
This has happened to me too. I agree with the obsession such as yeah it was embarrassing and others might have noticed. Or others might think differently about me now. Whatever the thing your brain is torturing you about agree that it might be or is true.
Thank you!
This happened to me today at work and was tortured by embarrassment. I fell in front of a coworker who is not kind to me at work. I ruminated for a lot of today obsessing over things she might say to someone. My therapist helps me stay in the middle “maybe I did embarrass myself” “I will never know how someone else feels” “I can’t read other people’s mind to know for sure” “I am not listening to you OCD for the answers to questions that we can’t know” “I am not letting you torture me anymore” or I like to say “Thank you for your unhelpful input I am not forcing you to make me ruminate on this” or I imagine like an ❌ symbol with the sound of like an x buzzer on a game show lol hope this helps if not helpful just know there is someone out there who is still learning like you 🖤
@Ken! this is helpful - thank you
@Ken! Ken, I love that X trick. That’s great! I’ll have to remember that. And it’s a good way to break the rumination.
I genuinely feel like the worlds most horrible person deeply for my past actions in childhood and general mistakes I’ve made. I feel like I shouldn’t be here or there’s no hope for me despite doing right ( trying to do right ) I’ve wanted to open up to my mom about things from my past but when I was talking to her about a situation that happened just to share, she was like “Thank God you’ve never done anything like that” But really my past mistakes are worst. It’s like I feel like I should disappear. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt and I feel horrible. I’ve made good and bad decisions but despite this being a long time ago ( which doesn’t erase my stupid actions ) I still keep bringing back into the present and I’m filled with guilt I genuinely think it would be better if I wasn’t here. I wake up think about my past things and I’m filled with guilt and shame that maybe I am a bad person and voices don’t stop, they keep telling me a lot of things that I start to believe. It makes me upset that I did something like that in my past and I try to be understanding but I can imagine the reactions of people and being condemned so much. I literally do this to myself every single day and it’s exhausting I don’t know how you guys can treat me with so much compassion and understanding. It really doesn’t feel real or like I deserve it. Like even on nocd, it makes me feel worst because I come across comments that say “as long as it’s not —-“ or something and I compare it to my past and I feel like a horrible unacceptable person.
I’ve posted something vulnerable here before and I’m trying to ride out the wave of reassurance where it’s getting at me and I’m scared of sitting still with nobody to talk to about this at the moment I genuinely think it would be easier if I wasn’t around. I view my friends as pure compared to me and I’m the most impurest. I feel like this would do a favour to stop being here I don’t know what to do, I really don’t know. I’m literally alone in this and I’m getting tired. How do you deal with stupid choices that you made as a child? I’m trying to be understanding of past mistakes but it’s gut wrenching to try and accept to say and admit you did it knowing you’ll spend the rest of your life with that guilt..is there another perspective to this..???
Hey, yesterday my ex told me something I did that hurt them. This was that I didnt respond in a supportive way when he came out to me. I genuinely had no idea he was coming out (I thought it was a flippant comment) and I was frustrated as we had been having issues with intimacy for months. He said it made him feel awful and it’s only since telling his friends that he has realised how painful my reaction was. I apologised as I do feel awful I made him feel that way but now I keep questioning my reality or perception of what happened. I also keep wanting to reach out to explain why I responded the way I did. Any tips for when you genuinely feel like a monster or did something so outside of your morals? I feel awful
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