Has anyone with soocd thought that they looked Lesbian and then just obsessed about it and then thought that must have meant that they were a lesbian and they all the times they though they were going to marry an man just all of a sudden though about it would be a women. It’s like a switch!!!!! It’s horrible and I don’t know what the truth is. I want a man and to have kids but now I’m question all of that and freaking out.
I understand how it feels. Every thought, every feeling you mentioned, i've had them too. And still i have these feelings and thoughts occasionally. Even though the level of anxiety varies according to my stress levels or hormonal changes etc. I know having these thoughts, the thought of me being a lesbian, scares me. It doesn't matter how real it feels it doesn't matter how a voice in my mind keeps telling me maybe this is you, real you. Maybe you are still hiding behind OCD, instead of hiding just accept your reality blah blah.. and then the what ifs start. I know that deep down this is not me talking. Just think like this. You are in a court and are being accused for a crime you deep down know you didnt commit. The other side, your OCD keeps accusing you. And you try to fight their accusations. As long as you keep fighting, they will throw more accusations. Remember they only have accusations and assumptions. No evidence, no proof, no witnesses. But each time you try and seek an evidence to prove you are not guilty, the other side will attack you with more accusations. Because they want to win. They want the power. But the important thing is they are not powerful. YOU ARE!. So best way to deal with them is to let them be. Just let them talk, let them try. Just keep moving on. The intrusive thoughts are there yes. And you are experiencing anxiety. But you choose not to engage in these thoughts and feelings. Because thoughts are just thoughts. They are important as long as you act as if they are important. Thoughts can not harm you. Thoughts can not hurt you. They just come and go. I know it sound too easy. But it works. I'm going through a similar process right now. So everything i said to you, i'm trying myself too. Recovery is a bumpy road and there will be downs as there will be ups. And we will keep moving forward. Don't lose hope. We will get better.
@zzyyxx Thank you so much, I have had a bumpy road to recovery so i completely understand when you wrote that’s thoughts are just thought and I 100% agree most of the time it help and I’m able to push through but there are time like you said when my hormone are off or my stress level are high and my ocd goes into a spiral and it’s almost like all that I have learned and thought has been washed away which it a a horrible feeling as I’m sure you know. Thank you so much for your kind words I really needed it during this time. ❤️ also that was a great visualization you gave, it really helped my differentiate my ocd and thoughts
I’ll comment here as a straight man. I wonder if I come off as gay or appear gay and so I’ll start standing more masculine and talking more deeper because i’m scared my voice could come off high pitched (when I know it’s not). I get obsessed with how I appear as well
@My OCD Academia YES! I try and sit my feminine and act more feminine and sometimes when I’m not over analyzing myself I will catch my self sitting more “masculine” which makes me go into a panic. Thank you for commenting, I really needed it. I hope you also know you are not alone❤️
I remember being on vacation in Mexico a month ago or more and I got a thought that said, “if you don’t wear earrings you’re a lesbian”. This theme wasn’t affecting me as much and told myself, I’m going to do an exposure and not wear earrings and go on with my day. My worst OCD episode with this theme started three weeks ago and was wearing the same sweater and I felt so safe in the sweater and had a thought that said “if you take off your sweater you’re a lesbian or bisexual” and I was scared of taking my sweater off even when it was hot.
Why am I suddenly now wondering if I am transgender? Like I look in the mirror and do not feel pretty at all anymore and when I talk I feel like I worry about sounding masculine, as well as if people think I look masculine, etc. I am a straight woman and have been battling with intrusive thoughts about my sexuality for some time now, and I am now suddenly questioning my gender identity too. Has anyone else with SOOCD experienced this, where you develop TOCD as a result of endless rumination cycles surrounding your SOOCD? Like I look into the future and know that I want to be a wife and mother and I want to have a husband and kids, but my OCD is telling me that I will be and act like a man and that will never happen. This is literally 10000x more distressing to me than my SOOCD was because I have honestly never understood the concept of being transgender but now I fear that that is who I am and who I have to be. Please help I cannot be the only one suddenly feeling like this. I want to feel confident and pretty and feminine again and I feel like I am never going to be able to. How do I know that this isn’t gender dysphoria/that I really want to become a man
For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.
I love my husband very much. I feel at peace when I’m with him and I like to make him happy. But ever since the soocd kicked in, I can’t stop thinking about whether im an imposter. What if I’m actually not straight and this whole time I was just going by what society told me was right - liking guys. What if when I was little I forced myself to crush on guys because my dad is homophobic? I had a sexual dream with another girl and it was like if I could control my actions and thoughts in the dream and I didn’t stop myself. That scares me so much. I just don’t want to hurt my husband in the future if I ever figure out if my true self is not who I thought I was. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s truly ocd or denial but it consumes my thoughts alllll day!
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