First experience with OCD

does anyone remember what their first experience with OCD felt like? im pretty sure i know the exact minute it happened. I was nine and my cousin was over for a sleep over, i remember she was on my bed watching a youtube video, and i was on the floor watching a youtube video. Then all of a sudden i got this horrible feeling it felt almost like deja vu? but i was terrified and i was so anxious i went and threw up. After that my mind was never the same, at the time i was so scared that i had been possessed because thats what i imagined it would feel/ look like, i became obsessed with the thought that i had become possessed. i kept asking my mom for reassurance that I hadn’t gotten possessed or had “made god angry.” im just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or if maybe that wasn’t OCD? Part of me still wonders if maybe i actually am possessed and i don’t have OCD even after 10 years. I obviously know thats not true but it’s always the “what if” ya know?

Username: malaynamalayna

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m not 100% i have OCD yet but i’ve had suspicions I do which is why i’m here but if it is i’ve had a similar experience, I was having a sleepover with my friend and i couldn’t wind down to sleep bc i’d sit up in panic it was like a spell was casted over me and i was panicked i had no idea what was going on so initially i had a severe attack and woke my mom up and she had no idea how to help me i slept on the couch for abt 3 days after that completely unable to ease me mind and it felt weird for like 2 weeks after this until i finally felt like myself again. until it happened again.

Username: invaderzim invaderzim

Date posted: 1y ago

@malayna Yes! this very similar to how i felt i had to sleep in my moms room for weeks until the episode eased up.

Username: Christyb3Christyb3

Date posted: 1y ago

I remember having panick attacks at I was pregnant at a very young age. I was never s.a. or anything but when I'd lay on my stomach I could feel my heart beat/ pulse and thought it was a baby. Then when I was I'm middle school I thought I was a lesbian. Kept me up at night, I was scared for weeks if not month's. 20+ years later I can say I never dated the same sex or wanted to. There was a few time other times I scared my self with the what if thoughts but I could always just except that if I was what I thought I was I'd be fine and just take it to the grave with me. Then I became a mom in my young 20's. Still no clue u had pure o. A whole wave of ocd anxiety hit me. I thought I would/could her my baby. I took him to my parents and they had to keep him for three months. I finally got brave enough to google what I was dealing with and learn about ocd. I struggle every single second of every single day. Some days are better then most when I get trigger I deep dive on Google and try to educate my self on ocd. Constantly looking for reassurance from my loved one. It definitely a struggle but I have to keep pushing forward for my kids. If they have ocd one day I need to be here to help guide them

Username: invaderzim invaderzim

Date posted: 1y ago

@Christyb3 You sound like a very strong person and great mom! sorry you are struggling you are not alone.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I was also at a sleepover! Around 11 years old. I just randomly thought of how we are all going to die one day and that spiraled me into my very first depressive and anxious episode that went on for a month.

Username: User11123User11123

Date posted: 1y ago

I remember the exact moment. I was 10 years old, leaving the sandy part of the beach and walking toward the street where our car was parked. I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to turn around and look back at the ocean. Then I kept feeling like I had to do it over and over again. And that was it - I’ve had OCD ever since, and that was 18 years ago. Once second I was fine, and then next moment I had OCD. Very strange how it happens.

Username: invaderzim invaderzim

Date posted: 1y ago

@User11123 thats so strange so many people remember the moment it happened like a switch in our brains was flipped. so interesting!

Username: hr247hr247

Date posted: 1y ago

got such chain of thought what’s the point of existence -> what if there’s no point -> i should kill myself started an insane attack and started my ocd

Username: Sway_04

Date posted: 22w ago

My OCD Story

Hey all, I was recently diagnosed with OCD and MDD a few months ago. I’ve been experiencing symptoms for the past 11 months though. I used to be a person who would downplay depression, reasoning that if someone is depressed, they should be able to snap out of it. This year has taught me the truth behind how debilitating mental health conditions can be. My OCD has been absolutely tearing my life apart. For the past year, I’ve been coping with excessive guilt over past and recurring mistakes, my anxiety of which has recently been causing me panic attacks and throbbing headaches. I’ve also been coping with feeling unnatural sexual attractions, to those of the same sex and to children, which contradict the values I hold at heart. At one point, even simply shaking someone’s hand would cause sexual arousal, due to my hyper-vigilance surrounding physical contact. My OCD and depression nearly led me to take my life a few months ago. There are no words to describe the amount of pain I’ve had to endure. My thoughts and feelings have been absolutely tearing my life down, bit by bit. I feel like I lost who I was, and like it’s impossible for me to know who I am. This isn’t me. Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been feeling constant sexual arousal, it’s so easily triggered now. I don’t know if it’s because of the OCD, if it’s a result of the SSRI I’m on, or if it’s just a product of me being a young adult—Or maybe a combination of all of the above, but it’s debilitating. How easily I get aroused causes me so much guilt. There is a girl in my life that I love, but it doesn’t help that I get aroused around her because of the simplest of things. It’s not what I want for us. I want to be able to hone in on my self-control. I can’t help but constantly compare who I am now to who I was just over a year ago. My happiness has suffered, and my endurance is draining. I know there is a long road of insight and recovery ahead of me, this is just the beginning. If there’s anyone who can relate to me in any way, feel free to let me know. Comfort begins with feeling understood.

Username: weregonnabeokay

Date posted: 21w ago

this is a first…

Ive had severe OCD for like 3 years now but today I had a moment where I was convincing myself of my thoughts really strongly and I started ro believe it- but it was really bad this time. Like I felt so anxious that I got nauseous and I felt like I was about to vomit😭😭😭 that has never happened to me… does anyone have a similar experience?

Username: D23859

Date posted: 21w ago

OCD panic attacks

When i see something, get reminded of something or talk to someone that triggers my train of thoughts, i feel a sudden racing spike in my heart, a knot in my stomach, kind of like that nervous butterfly feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster thats about to go downhill, or when you get jump-scared. My hands start to sweat and i just want to remove myself from the situation asap, wishing i felt the way i did about 2 minutes ago when i was doing just fine and wasn’t overthinking for once. The OCD goes wild in my head, instant overanalysis, sending me down into a spiral, making me want to dig a hole and hide in there until i somehow manage to persuade myself im not a bad person before I can go about with my day with ease again.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

First experience with OCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community