Kinda freaking out

I totally understand—I’ve been with my boyfriend for only 5 months, but I’m so absolutely in love with him and feel like this is the relationship I’ve been waiting for my whole life, and he’s just the greatest. But recently I’ve thought of some little quirks my ex used to do that I thought were cute, and that instantly spiraled into “wait am I still in love with him? Do I want him back?” which of course the answer is NO! As another commenter said, it’s totally normal to miss people or elements of old relationships, even if those relationships weren’t even that great. It doesn’t mean you love your husband any less. Man I wish our brains weren’t like this! Anyhow I hope you find some peace tonight ♥️

It’s perfectly normal to miss things from a relationship that’s gone, and even from one that was almost entirely toxic. I think maybe it could be more likely to see good in toxic relationships because part of the toxicity of them is that the bad is so mixed with the good so that it’s sometimes hard to tell in my experience. Just because you might be in a great relationship now, it’s not a bad thing nor a sign of anything to come that you might look back upon a past one and find things you enjoy, this of course happens with all memories too, not just relationship-orientated ones which I find important to remember. I can understand your concern though, but it sounds like a completely human thought to have and it doesn’t sound at all like a problem.

I relate to this so much. I keep having dreams about my ex, and while they aren’t pleasant, it feels weird to see someone who was so important to you once who isn’t anymore. Dreams and our imaginations are weird, thoughts will come and go, try not to judge them. Think of it like old connections and pathways in your brain firing at random.

First, I want to say that you're incredibly brave for reaching out and sharing your struggle; grappling with thoughts of an ex, especially a toxic one, can be a real challenge when you're devoted to your current relationship. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts, and they don't define your feelings towards your husband, whom you clearly cherish after six years together. Your capacity to discern your anxiety from your actual commitment is a testament to your strength. Now, something that I've found useful is this AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck," which you can check out here: unstuckmyocd.com/try. I heard about this from my OCD support group, and honestly, I wish I had known about it sooner. Considering your current ROCD battle, it'll be especially helpful for you because the AI tailors the guidance to your personal situation, providing the sort of step-by-step support that mirrors what an OCD therapist offers. Just remember, I'm here for you if you have any queries about the app or if you want to talk more. Stay strong 👊😊