Forgetting my own advice

When I’m in a flare up, I’m not able to see. I can’t see that it will ever get better. I have complete amnesia about any and all tools that will help me through it and I’m just miserable. I think my life is over, that I’m actually dying, and there’s just no point anymore. What are some ways that you all are able to get through a particularly tough flare up? I’m literally facing my absolute worst nightmare right now with health OCD. (Having symptoms and doctor is scheduling tests on Friday, so will know by Monday). My mind is taking me to the WORST places (you’re going to end up just like your mom who died of cancer, etc). I catastrophize EVERYTHING. And it’s all the absolute worst case scenario with me in all aspects of my life. Which I guess makes sense given all the trauma I have with my family members who died of cancer. But how do I reframe this? How can I change “worst case scenario” thinking? How do I let go of it??? Any and all tips / advice to help me get through this week is very much welcomed

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

I struggle with these issues too. They're the worst at night. I think I'm going to die of a health problem that I won't be able to get through or I always worry about my health the minute I feel off or any discomfort no matter how small. Do you keep your helpful tools bookmarked somewhere? I think it would help to look at them when you need to. I'm really sorry to hear about your mother who passed. I suppose one of the ways to try and change the thinking is to accept the uncertainty of everything but also be positive of everything at the same time. The thing about OCD is that we don't have 100% certainty of everything. There are things we just have a lot of confidence to believe in as opposed to our OCD worries that leave us very anxious and uncertain. It's hard to accept uncertainty with things that make us anxious compared to situations that don't make us anxious. I think one way to change the extreme thinking is to somehow not respond to them with extreme feelings. I know that's really hard and it feels impossible to sometimes like cancer though.. I'm sorry. I have so many health worries too. I'll worry about having diabetes at one point to worrying about having an STI at the next. It's just terrible. :(

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Thanks for commenting. That’s a really good idea. To have my tools bookmarked somewhere. Health OCD is such a beast. Not only do we have the awful thoughts but they are usually accompanied by physical sensations that make us think the thought is true. Accepting uncertainty has been really difficult for me lately. I just don’t know how. Anyways, how have you been?

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild The physical sensations make it so much worse. It makes it seem like it's proof that there is something wrong. I'm struggling with that a lot. I'm focused on hair growth around my body along with off feelings or things that look off about my body. I've been doing okay, but the health OCD has been really tough. I just want to find a doctor but I keep holding it off because I don't want to come off as annoying about it to my family. I know it's something I need to do though.

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I relate to this so much!! The physical symptoms do make it seem like evidence that the thing we think we have, is really there! It’s the worst. I keep getting these pains in my stomach and I just can’t discern if it’s body noise or if it’s something I should get checked out. Hence going to the doctor and getting it checked out. But it’s so scary. I would say that if you haven’t been to the doctor in a while, it wouldn’t hurt to schedule an appointment. It will probably be terrifying but you can definitely do it! I believe in you 💖

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild Yeah, I get stomach concerns as well. It used to hurt from time to time but now I'm worried about the discomfort in my upper back. It used to be heavy but now it's only when I stretch my neck or breathe. Or it could just be intense stress

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 It’s so hard to tell what’s coming from stress and anxiety and what’s not. I’m so sorry you also struggle with this. How have you been managing with the anxiety? Have you been able to shift your focus to something else? I’ve had a terrible time with that lately. The rumination just takes off and I’m not always able to stop it…

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@emilytravelswild I've been able to manage the anxiety pretty well. It could be better once I get a doctor. I've just been distracting myself with hobbies and it has helped. I haven't really been focused on my health concerns as much as I used to. I guess distractions along with a good headspace helps me out. It's also help from my therapist that has helped me. And talking with friends. Rumination can be really hard once it stops. I hope distractions can help you. Maybe just try to find something that lets you forget about everything in the moment. Something that can somehow take you to a safe place mentally perhaps. I hope that helps.

selway

Date posted: 1y

I think part of it is celebrating progress no matter how small it is. Gotta treat yourself fairly

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