Bad mom

Hello, first of all feelings aren't facts. They just feel real. There are many things that can influence feelings especially OCD. Be compassionate to yourself, even if you don't feel warm fuzzies you take care of your son in many other ways. Don't use this as reassurance though. I'm just pointing out your thinking errors so you can recognize OCD isn't rational. You know you love your son so trust yourself. Again , dont use that as reassurance. Remember OCD demands certainty. You must be okay with the chance of being a bad mom even if highly unlikely. Tell yourself you may or may not be a bad mom. Tell yourself you may or may not love your son. Accepting uncertainty doesn't mean you think it's likely just that there is a one in a trillion chance it could be true and you accept that possibility. I know it's scary but it has helped me a lot to welcome uncertainty into my life. It's basically the antidote to OCD.

If this makes you feel better, sometimes especially when I’m in a bad state of mind I feel I don’t connect as well with my daughter , not because I don’t love her but because I can almost be “shut off” to any good emotions when I’m stuck in ocd haze… I feel like a bad mum too sometimes because of it, because I love my daughter more than anything and wish i could give her more than what she deserves and she deserves everything. Most of the time I will feel that warm fuzzy feeling when I hug her, but sometimes I don’t or don’t as much, if I’m really stuck in my head. You are not a bad mum, bad parents do not worry about being bad or what they feel/think… you want to be the best mum for your boy, yeah? So just wake up every day and try again. That’s all we can do. And remember the more we focus on something the more present it is, so for example someone who experiences groinal responses the more they focus on them the more they will happen, same with feelings, the more you focus on it the more it will feel “real” or “present” if that makes sense…. Just hug your little one as much as u can, and hold them close because one day they grow up and we don’t get that as much…. Good luck to you on your journey. Remember you have a mental condition, it isn’t your fault when ocd plays tricks on you

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in dealing with these thoughts and anxieties. It's tough when OCD finds a way to creep back in, even when we've made progress. Remember, though, that having these thoughts doesn't define you as a bad mom or mean you don't love your son. It's just your OCD trying to mess with you. By the way, have you heard about "unstuck"? It's an AI-powered therapy tool specifically for OCD and it's been a game-changer for me this past month. You should definitely check it out at unstuckmyocd.com/try. It was actually recommended to me by another member here, and I wish I had found out about it earlier! Hang in there, friend! 😊🌻