Relationship ocd

In my past relationship that lasted for years, I so many obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that I listened to like “you don’t really love him. You’re just pretending”. I told him when I would have these thoughts and I could tell that this was not helping our relationship when I would tell him, but the compulsions felt better when I did it. We eventually broke up, and even though he swore it was not because of my ocd, I can’t help but think that I scared him. Flash forward two years and I’ve met this other man. I am worried that my intrusive thoughts about relationship worries will get the best of me and I will end things before they even get good. I think I am more prepared for this time but I’m still worried. I wish I could just stay in the moment and not catastrophic everything.

Username: taytay86taytay86

Date posted: 47w ago

I’m going through something similar . My thoughts are telling me with images that I’m a cheater all because some guy made a pass at me which I didn’t entertain. But mind keeps telling me that I must of insinuated something for him to come talk me. Now I keep thinking that I some how I wanna cheat which I have no intentions of doing that ever. I been happily married for almost 16 years I never had these thoughts before. It’s usually the other way around. (where I think he might be cheating ). It’s literally breaking my heart to think that I would ever do something like that. feel guilty and disgusted for even thinking that. It’s been 12 days 😔😔😔

Username: 12sopapia12sopapia

Date posted: 47w ago

@taytay86 Remember that you didn’t cheat. You can’t control your thoughts but you can control your reactions to your thoughts. I can tell that your marriage is highly important to you, and that is why you are so worried about this. Just know (from my experience) that the more time you spend in your head trying to figure out why you’re having these thoughts, it’s still not going to make much sense. Because they are just thoughts. We give these thoughts the power to control us. I know that we can take the power back.

Username: taytay86taytay86

Date posted: 47w ago

Thank u.. you’re absolutely right

Username: dee dee

Date posted: 47w ago

i know exactly what you mean you feel this intense guilt that only worsens if you don’t confess the intrusive thought and if you don’t you feel like a murderer like you’ve killed someone and no body knows except you and you’re walking around with a secret that makes you a horrible person if that makes sense? but when it’s a thought that i don’t want to confess because ik it’s my ocd subconsciously and i don’t want anyone to think i’m a bad person then the guilt spirals

Username: taytay86taytay86

Date posted: 47w ago

@dee OMG YES !!!

Username: taytay86taytay86

Date posted: 47w ago

I actually confessed my thought to my husband because I thought he would understand but let’s just say I think it back fired on me big time !!! Now I just feel worst

Username: dee dee

Date posted: 47w ago

@taytay86 would it be worth you pulling up some like screenshots of things online about your ocd or videos etc talking about the thoughts that you have and showing him that they’re part of your illness and they’re not you and soooo many other people get the same thoughts because of ocd, it makes the guilt less intense when i talk to my boyfriend about my intrusive thoughts when i can back up the fact that they’re symptoms of the diagnosis and other people experience the exact same

Username: MichelleBrando55MichelleBran...

Date posted: 47w ago

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with intrusive thoughts and OCD in your past relationship. It's understandable that you might have concerns about how these thoughts could impact your current relationship as well. Just remember, you've learned from your past experiences and you're more prepared now, which is a great step forward. Take it one day at a time and try to stay present in the moment. You've got this! 💪 By the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck"? I've been in a similar situation before, and my NOCD therapist recommended it to me. I think it'll be especially helpful for you because it provides personalized step-by-step support when OCD gets difficult, just like an OCD therapist. It's completely free and it's changed my life. Lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! ❤️ I hate when people promote stuff, but I really think it can help you because it's changed my life.

Username: Sake

Date posted: 4y ago

How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

Username: BreaG

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD - help

I believe I (currently) am experiencing ROCD. Growing up as a child, I was always double checking the door was locked, wouldn’t walk on cracks, had to count to step. I eventually grew out of it. But I feel it has grown into ROCD. I currently have a year long relationship with a person I love and has treated me very well. I have plans to move in with him and I went job seeking at his house (we are long distance) last weekend. I had anxiety the entire time. I kept telling myself, I’m scared, what if this doesn’t work, what if this is telling me to break free of the relationship, what if I’m not attracted to him, and I was avoidant because I was so scared to feel the anxiety around/with him and question it all again. Once the anxiety would settle I would cry to him about it and tell him I’m just scared and everything is caving in. But is this normal in ROCD? I found myself googling everything the weeks leading up to me going. I once told him to give me space (he is very affectionate and I am not) and very selfless when it comes to calls/texts. PLUS - long distance adds to that. With everything, I started googling it all nonstop for days and feared we aren’t meant for each other. Now when he calls I feel anxious because I don’t want to feel that “trapped” feeling of not having space again and I googled how to find common and reasonable communication with long distance. UGH just everything is scaring me and I fear my obsessiveness over it is making it worse.

Relationship OCD

Username: cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

Please help me, my relationship ocd is so bad 😞

It has completely switched to me being scared I don’t want to be with him. I’ve been struggling for days. I’ve been googling stuff all day too. And then my friend asked me “do you actually like him?” And it’s been stuck in my head. And then I answered yes but my head was like do you really though? Can it really convince you that you don’t and that you’re lying to yourself? And can you feel like you’re lying to them about it all? It makes me feel sick. And then my friend said “I think you’re just second guessing things because you’ve never been in a healthy relationship” my mind keeps going to “what if you really are not mean to be together? You know deep down. What if you’re having all these thoughts because you just aren’t mean to be?” And I don’t have like insane butterflies or infatuation with him like I did my previous partners, but they were so abusive and toxic. Im so terrified my mind will convince me to break up with him and I don’t want to 😞

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