Struggling with contamination OCD and living in a dorm is mentally exhausting.

Hi everyone. First time here. I suffer from Contamination OCD. I have a good support group in friends, family, and my boyfriend, but I have not met anyone else with OCD and I needed to reach out to others to find help. I first got OCD when I was 17 (I am now 33) and was able to go into remission, but COVID brought it back. I was struggling at work (which was outside with the public). I found a therapist and she wrote me a doctor’s note suggesting I be allowed to work from home. My work was not accommodating at all and only offered me FMLA leave, so I took it as my only option and eventually got on Short Term Disability. The whole process took forever and was incredibly stressful. My leave was supposed to be a time of healing and it just made my OCD symptoms worse. My employer basically treated me as though I was trying to get out of work and proved to me that though they talk about the importance of mental health, they don’t take mental health seriously. I ended up having to leave my job “involuntarily due to health reasons” as they would not grant an extension nor let me return with any restrictions/accommodations. My therapist seemed good at first, but it became clear that she wasn’t really helping me. She would often use our sessions to vent about the insurance company and in one session, she basically called me a hopeless case and kept saying “I don’t know. I am concerned. I don’t know how you are going to be able to function” and threw out the word hospitalization, though she did backtrack on that one. I struggle everyday. I am worried that something from outside of the home touched something clean and is now contaminated. I need help working through this. I am constantly looking for reassurance, question if things are clean, wash my hands, use too many disinfectant wipes, and take showers upwards of 50-60 mins. I feel like my mind is being taken over by my OCD, I’m losing time, and it’s straining my relationship. For anyone who is struggling with contamination OCD brought on by COVID - any tips? My therapist never gave me anything specific to work on with this - to help me focus on something else. I am in the process of finding another therapist, but until then - any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I don’t have body odor (genitalia), but I had an incident when I was 19 and was on my period. I waited too long to change my napkin and I got a whiff of my scent. It gave me the OCD I have today. I’m 54 and 10yrs over with periods, and just goes to show how the brain can be your worst enemy. You see, I know I don’t smell, and I don’t spend much time showering or laundering, but when I’m public, I think people think, that I think that I can smell myself. Pretty much am fearful that I give off the vibe that I smell. It is Sooooo twisted. I bet most people can’t even understand this. I think “they” are looking at me and judging me and can tell that I am not comfortable with my nether regions. It’s crazy even typing this out. I don’t like crouching, sitting cross legged and other various positions that send me into BIG Time ANXIETY. I can’t think, I sweat, my heart races, I feel like the world is saying “You are so weird. What’s wrong with you. Ewwww!” I did some ERP for a few months, but then I’m fine for a while and then BOOM it comes back. I’m uncomfortable with my body I suppose. And my brain keeps looping on that day when I was 19. Just had to tell my embarrassing story in case someone else feels embarrassed as well. I’m trying to sit with it, haha, sit with it really. But if anyone has something similar to my type of OCD, I’d appreciate your opinions or experience or just acknowledgement. No need for detail if you don’t want to share. Thanks everyone. ❤️

This is my first post on here. My ocd started in 2020 and it mainly revolved around Covid and contamination from that. It has now evolved from that into other aspects of life. It has flipped my world upside down since it’s started. I now struggle with intense anxiety about anything poop/bathroom related. I wipe excessively worried about leaving something behind, I plan my showers around going to the bathroom, I can’t have sex if I haven’t showered that day, I plan my days around going poop. I always worry there is something on me and it can consume my thoughts. Also all poop bothers me dog poop, bird poop ect. I don’t even like petting dogs anymore because of it. This ocd issue causes me to take forever to go to the bathroom because I excessively check. Idk if anyone can relate to this but I am struggling. I miss the old me and wish she could come back