- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Of course it felt good, you were masturbating!! And of course you got aroused, it’s two people having sex! That’s just predictable.
- Date posted
- 5y
You say you liked it, but it seems to me there is an error in that regard. If you liked it, I don’t think you’d be in this much distress posting it online. It sounds like the polar opposite. And how did you act on your HOCD? By looking up pictures of girls? Which is a common compulsion in HOCD. It sounds like you did a compulsion and it backfired and now your linking it to Harm OCD because you acted on a very common compulsion. Compulsions don’t mean you act on it. (Unless in very extreme cases). Just because you looked at pictures of girls doesn’t mean you “acted” on your HOCD. It means you did a compulsion to try to disprove the thoughts.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey ! I’m so sorry you’re feeling so anxious :( groinal responses are not at all indicative of sexual orientation , they can be caused by a numb net of things , like HOCD itself or wanting so bad to not have them that you have them. Clearly you’re very upset over this. People that are lesbian don’t obsess over whether or not they’re lesbian , they usually know it with confidence and don’t focus on any sensations in there body. It takes far more than sensations in the body to be gay or lesbian. Our society makes any physical sensation or arousal to automatically mean attraction , but there’s a major difference. Your brain doesn’t know what you like or don’t like , it honestly doesn’t care either. It just sends signals whenever you see something you like , something that stands out , something that you don’t like , or something that makes you anxious. When you have OCD , you get an overdrive in your brain which causes a lot of signals to be sent. And HOCD can easily convince you that you like something when you don’t. OCD in general could convince you of literally anything , no matter how untrue it is. Try to accept your fear though and picture your life with it. Would you face certain difficulties ? You might. But you could still enjoy your life just as much as anyone else. All the best , if you wanna talk more about this you can ask for my Instagram , I’d love to help more
- Date posted
- 5y
Before ocd I watched lesbian porn to get off. A lot of women do but it doesn’t mean anything.. I didn’t even give it a second thought but now it hunts me
- Date posted
- 5y
Like I’m terrified, I’m so scared that I might one day act on my urges and thoughts because I acted and followed through with my HOCD. Any advice??
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, I have hocd as well that it really feels real. I’ve thought about it way to much it feels like I want to do these things but I don’t. You say you acted on them, does that mean you actually experimented with a girl? And with your harm ocd, that’s really different. If you’re scared to act on them you won’t. I also had it once, I thought I’d kill my mom and sister but it wasn’t as drastic. I obviously didn’t kill them because it was just a thought that I didn’t want to act out on. Right now just breathe, in and out. Concentrate on how beautiful life was before this and how you enjoyed the little things. Try to seek a therapist if you don’t already have one. If you do tell them everything.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Equating arousal from watching porn to sexual orientation is completely inaccurate. People still spread the myth that it means that you’re attracted to what you’re seeing , but that’s not true. Porn is sexual , so of course you’re going to react to it. That’s completely normal and has nothing to do with attraction
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for all the support y’all ❤️❤️ means so much and is very helpful.
- Date posted
- 5y
When I say I acted it on it I looked up porn of girl and see if I got turned on and I did. And I masturbated to it. And I feels good. But I hate it. And it causes me extreme distress. So I think like the other person said it’s really just a compulsion to satisfy the obsession. Not really sure. Harm OCD is just overwhelming in general. Seeing therapist on Friday.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Number **
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
their ** whoops
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s hard, to deal with HOCD but I know I’m gonna get through it. And I hope you do too. @millsxxx ❤️❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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