Please help! I’m so scared right now. I have have HOCD for the last 7 years and I got so scared that I might be lesbian. And then when I started looking up pictures of girls I felt groinal urges and I listened to them and I liked it. I am scared that I am gay. But what terrifies me even more is that I acted on HOCD and I’m scared I might act on my harm OCD in the future. I’m terrified and I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Also I don’t want to be gay because I’m religious, but I’m worried I convinced myself I’m gay but idek.

Of course it felt good, you were masturbating!! And of course you got aroused, it’s two people having sex! That’s just predictable.

You say you liked it, but it seems to me there is an error in that regard. If you liked it, I don’t think you’d be in this much distress posting it online. It sounds like the polar opposite. And how did you act on your HOCD? By looking up pictures of girls? Which is a common compulsion in HOCD. It sounds like you did a compulsion and it backfired and now your linking it to Harm OCD because you acted on a very common compulsion. Compulsions don’t mean you act on it. (Unless in very extreme cases). Just because you looked at pictures of girls doesn’t mean you “acted” on your HOCD. It means you did a compulsion to try to disprove the thoughts.

Hey ! I’m so sorry you’re feeling so anxious :( groinal responses are not at all indicative of sexual orientation , they can be caused by a numb net of things , like HOCD itself or wanting so bad to not have them that you have them. Clearly you’re very upset over this. People that are lesbian don’t obsess over whether or not they’re lesbian , they usually know it with confidence and don’t focus on any sensations in there body. It takes far more than sensations in the body to be gay or lesbian. Our society makes any physical sensation or arousal to automatically mean attraction , but there’s a major difference. Your brain doesn’t know what you like or don’t like , it honestly doesn’t care either. It just sends signals whenever you see something you like , something that stands out , something that you don’t like , or something that makes you anxious. When you have OCD , you get an overdrive in your brain which causes a lot of signals to be sent. And HOCD can easily convince you that you like something when you don’t. OCD in general could convince you of literally anything , no matter how untrue it is. Try to accept your fear though and picture your life with it. Would you face certain difficulties ? You might. But you could still enjoy your life just as much as anyone else. All the best , if you wanna talk more about this you can ask for my Instagram , I’d love to help more

Before ocd I watched lesbian porn to get off. A lot of women do but it doesn’t mean anything.. I didn’t even give it a second thought but now it hunts me

Like I’m terrified, I’m so scared that I might one day act on my urges and thoughts because I acted and followed through with my HOCD. Any advice??

Hi, I have hocd as well that it really feels real. I’ve thought about it way to much it feels like I want to do these things but I don’t. You say you acted on them, does that mean you actually experimented with a girl? And with your harm ocd, that’s really different. If you’re scared to act on them you won’t. I also had it once, I thought I’d kill my mom and sister but it wasn’t as drastic. I obviously didn’t kill them because it was just a thought that I didn’t want to act out on. Right now just breathe, in and out. Concentrate on how beautiful life was before this and how you enjoyed the little things. Try to seek a therapist if you don’t already have one. If you do tell them everything.

Equating arousal from watching porn to sexual orientation is completely inaccurate. People still spread the myth that it means that you’re attracted to what you’re seeing , but that’s not true. Porn is sexual , so of course you’re going to react to it. That’s completely normal and has nothing to do with attraction

Thank you for all the support y’all ❤️❤️ means so much and is very helpful.

When I say I acted it on it I looked up porn of girl and see if I got turned on and I did. And I masturbated to it. And I feels good. But I hate it. And it causes me extreme distress. So I think like the other person said it’s really just a compulsion to satisfy the obsession. Not really sure. Harm OCD is just overwhelming in general. Seeing therapist on Friday.

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It’s hard, to deal with HOCD but I know I’m gonna get through it. And I hope you do too. @millsxxx ❤️❤️