Please answer

@Nica I don’t think it’s OCD though but everyone’s telling me it is

@ Anonymous You need to get a diagnosis one way or another.

@Nica Of what tho I don’t want it to be a fake diagnosis and I feel it’s pointless going to one as I feel I committed the crime

@The real yeerhaw I’m scared to because they’ll say it isn’t OCD

@ Anonymous Dude even I see it as ocd and I’m just talking to you online. Find a therapist that specialises in ocd, they would probably learn about false memory ocd in college.

@The real yeerhaw I could put money on it it’s not OCD and how serious it is I don’t know what to do

@ Anonymous Have you had a similar obsession before, which you were similarly convinced of?

@The real yeerhaw Nope

@ Anonymous When did this particular obsession start if I may?

@The real yeerhaw A day or so after the night

@ Anonymous It wouldn’t be a bad idea to go to a therapist with this. When you get to know one well and you feel you trust them after a few sessions, you might open up to them about it. This would be helpful especially if you do suffer from OCD and can’t parse out the truth on your own.

@The real yeerhaw I just don’t know what’s left for me, when you feel a rapist coming from a lovely family it’s horrific

@ Anonymous But you’re making a jump here. Is this fear based or logic based? Find a therapist and talk to them for a few sessions and see if you trust them. You have OCD and you know that, so are you capable of ascertaining the truth here alone or not? Can you really trust your judgment or is it clouded by ocd?

@The real yeerhaw I’m lost, how long have you had OCD? And how old are you now and how are you dealing with it at the moment?

@ Anonymous For me the ocd dissipated over time and I’m more managing it now thankfully. It was much worse years ago. I mostly taught myself how to deal with it. Nonetheless, I would recommend you find a therapist. You’re in a turbulent state (emotionally speaking) and you need the guidance.

@The real yeerhaw Aw that is lucky and mine use to just go after months however this hasn’t for over a year which is making me doubt it’s OCD, I’m assuming your a male, what age did yours dissipate at ?

@ Anonymous Hard to say, it came and went. The anxiety persists until today, I believe my OCD was a kind of expression of it. In time you may learn to distrust your anxious emotions and that will be helpful. Would you like to chat privately? I tried to dm you but I can’t seem to.

@The real yeerhaw What age are you now? Because I thought when I was older I could tell when I’m being stupid with my thoughts but it’s just exactly the same the older I’ve gotten

@ Anonymous Yeah I’ve tried to dm you too but it won’t work either I don’t know if u can do it on this app?

@The real yeerhaw Hey dude, I’m really struggling, I can’t cope, hope your doing well🙌

@ Anonymous Then please take my advice and Pray, the Rosary when done properly will help you. God desires to help you. Just keep on ticking. It may not *feel* like you can make it out of this but you can. Feelings can be deceiving. There is *always* hope. And since you have ocd, to address your original question. Going to the police would come *after* going to therapy since you have OCD. Can your own judgment about the matter be trusted if it’s influenced by turbulent emotions? And either way, you are a human being and you have dignity, the world is better with you than without you. Don’t despair. Optimism is necessary in order to persevere precisely because pessimism makes it easier to give up. Pray, maybe seek some counsel and don’t lose hope.

@ Anonymous I did not always believe, and I once thought something similar to that idea that you mentioned but trust me it’s not an intelligent idea (and I mean no offence.) God is *Love*. Immaterial things truly exist. For example, you can imagine a unicorn in your mind. This imagination cannot be measured in centimetres or weighed. It cannot be proven to exist without your witness. It’s immaterial but real. In other words, the universe truly is vastly bigger than what humans can measure and empirically prove. There truly is a God. He is truly Love. Raise your heart to Him and let Him heal you. Again, a therapist will give you better guidance than I in regards to your compulsion.

@The real yeerhaw Thankyou your a great help to me, Is there a quote that from the bible that helps you daily or with OCD that you can share, I don’t know if it’s OCD I’m a little confused so I’ll have to see what I do next

@ Anonymous Something in the lines of ‘Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own’ Matthew 6 34. And in general, you need to grow to tolerate anxious feelings without being convinced by them. They are just there, they cannot harm you. You’ll learn to live with these feelings in time. I hope you get through this, don’t hesitate to reach out.

@The real yeerhaw That’s a good one, I’m scared I even remember it all or I’m going to remember it one day and it all come back to me

@ Anonymous Fear is powerful ain’t it. Again, I don’t think therapy with a trusted person is a bad idea my friend.

@The real yeerhaw Also meaning no offence, I’d recommend deleting the comment with the hierarchy thing. Could be my own Scrupulosity speaking, but it might be a bit disrespectful to God. Not that you meant any kind of disrespect by it.

@The real yeerhaw Sorry I just deleted it didn’t mean any harm

@The real yeerhaw Do you see a therapist at the moment ? I have looked into it but in the UK for OCD it’s so expensive

@ Anonymous Thanks, ofc. I used to see a therapist yes, but I’ve mostly dealt with my issues thanks to God’s help. If you’re in college, your campus health centre might provide free therapy / counselling.

@The real yeerhaw I’m 22 and finished university in the UK last summer, I’m employed but there’s no services, I always knew I didn’t really want to live till I was older always had that feeling that I was going to end it and I just don’t know if that was my last mistake to give me a reason to end it

@ Anonymous Ending it is never the option. I’m of firm belief in that, no matter who you are or what you have done: at the core you have dignity, you are a human being, and you are made in God’s likeness and image. He never stops loving you. Please, please do not end it no matter what. Even if the fear is true, you must live and keep on living. Suicide will not fix anything. I will Pray for you, you’re worrying me with this kind of talk!

@The real yeerhaw They were my thoughts growing up, it’s all good, I just lost and reflect on all my drunken mistakes with girls always cause me fear and stupidity etc. I don’t mean it

@ Anonymous Okay, I’m glad. Also, getting drunk isn’t a good thing. The culture has this idea that it’s fine but it’s not, it diminishes your ability to think and reason as a human being. One or two beers max should be enough.

@The real yeerhaw Yes I’ve reduced my alcohol intake massively because it was crippling I’ve been recommended to go to Alcoholics Anonymous too, but I don’t know

@ Anonymous Alcoholic anonymous is going to be a place where you’ll meet people in the same boat as you. Human beings, who are in bad places, who want to climb out and be liberated & healed. That sounds like a pretty good thing, even if you don’t think you’re full choke alcoholic.

@The real yeerhaw Thanks man, your a true help in a dark dark place, I’ve taken pills since this night too it’s just getting too much but thanks to people like you it provides me with light in a dark tunnel, I knew I had a problem when I was going to bed hoping to not wake up

@ Anonymous What kind of pills do you mean?

@The real yeerhaw Anything but trust me it’s to release the pain not to end it

@ Anonymous Pills aren’t going to help you. This will only cause a dependence, and that can only cause more pain the future. You need to take courage, and raise your heart to a higher lower, and *beg* for him both to be there and to deliver you from this. It is my firm conviction that he is there, and he loves you. All sins can be forgiven. He desires to heal you, to remove anything blocking his relationship to you. Again, before you consider suicide, or pill dependency, or anything else irrational, consider therapy. A trusted therapist who wills your well being (this isn’t impossible, I too am a human and I too will your well-being) can help you through this, can help you discern what is real and what is not. I’m here reciting a Rosary for *you* personally. Please please help yourself properly. Please do not do anything to endanger yourself. Go to a quiet Church and Pray.

@The real yeerhaw Higher power *

@The real yeerhaw I will seek a therapist but if I am a rapist I will not carry on, I could not live with myself

@ Anonymous If if if if if. You don’t *know* it. I hope you have success with your pursuit of therapy. And I disagree with your opinion. *You* are a human being either way. With this obsession, draw the line at suicide. You don’t tolerate anxiety if it tempts you to cross that line in your thinking. You are a human, you have dignity, you are better off alive and the world will be a better place if you continue to live and make it better. Don’t listen to any voice that will tell you otherwise, because it would be a *lie*. Repeat that to yourself if you must because it is *objectively* true. Literally, trust me on that. Don’t listen to yourself if you disagree with this. I am telling you the truth. The world is better off if you live. And again, isn’t it still possible that this is all just an illusion of your anxiety? I hope the therapist brings truth to the matter for you. And please, in humility consider the possibility that God exists. If an infinitely powerful being who embodied love existed, couldn’t he fix this? And wouldn’t he want to? Look at a crucifix and humbly consider it. The cross used to be a symbol oppression and tyranny, a punishment used by the Romans to humiliate people who didn’t submit to their tyranny. By God’s sacrifice at Calvary for your Sins, this was undermined. The cross was utterly transformed into a symbol of liberation and forgiveness, and we believe it is true. The solution to the worlds problems is *love*. I hope this is of some value. I am still Praying for you.

@The real yeerhaw Your a great help to me, I will live to fight another day, change of subject what do you do in life where are you in life atm you working etc. ?

@ Anonymous Good, I’m glad. I’m currently in college.

@The real yeerhaw I can’t carry on I’ve gotten plenty of things I’ve done intoxicated which are kinda weird with girls and I can’t carry on with the guilt, that’s without the night on top of that guilt either

@ Anonymous You can carry on and you have to. Don’t feed emotions that make you more likely do something you will regret. I don’t know what the truth of your situation is (and I still think it’s possibly ocd, hence the therapy recommendation) *but either way*, I would want you to live, and to find a way to make things right; and to be at peace. God would want that too. Ask Him for help, and he will help you get through this. I will Pray another Rosary for you today.

@ Anonymous Also if you’re stewing, take this nice Sunday as an opportunity to get some air. Find a nice spot in the countryside to take a walk and look for some peace.

@ Anonymous Don’t underestimate the amount by which overthinking something can drive you to do something irrational. give yourself a break from thinking about it.

@ Anonymous Please please please do not end your life, there are helplines with people who dedicate there time to helping people like you.

@The real yeerhaw I’ve made other mistakes with females that have completely ruined me as a man and I think this night was the straw that broke the camels back and I thought f*ck it and something horrendous to a female

@ Anonymous Is that really the case or do you just think it might be? Again, therapy either way.

@The real yeerhaw Yes really the case I never had a girlfriend so I was making ‘mistakes’ intoxicated with one night stands and it was really affecting me

@ Anonymous You just need to Pray and persevere through this. I can’t give you a lot more advice than that and the therapy. You’re still human, and it’s never too late to turn your life around. There is always hope for you. Please do not take your life, do not lose hope. I don’t mean that in a superficial way, do not give up hope that things can get better and that there is a way forward. There *is* a way forward. Also, and I don’t mean to make you feel worse, don’t be saying these kinds of things. This is what you need to bring to a therapist.

@ Anonymous If you take my advice, *Pray*, and consider therapy, I *gaurantee* you will be happy again in one years time. Go to God. Do not lose hope, it would be such a shame if you did. There is hope.

@The real yeerhaw Okay I understand, hopefully I’ll see a therapist

@ Anonymous Indeed, keep hopeful. You *will* get through this.

@The real yeerhaw Everytime I go to sleep I have all my intoxicated ‘mistakes’ I’ve made with females then I have to open my eyes

@ Anonymous All things will pass. Just persevere, and focus on what we said. Prayer and therapy. You need a source of external strength get through this. I’m hoping to see you get through this friend. It’s a dark world, but taking your own life will only make it darker. You’re still *human* and you have the ability to make it brighter. You’re just as human as the rest of us Sinners. Pray. Go to a therapist to discern what the truth is in this matter. Love can only break the cycle of pain the world is going through. All the best to you.

@The real yeerhaw I’m going to remember that night any minute can feel it

@The real yeerhaw If I think about horrible & uncomfortable things it’ll come to me more clearer I think

@ Anonymous Just hang in there buddy, take it day by day, and don’t venture anywhere in your mind that will make you consider hurting yourself. You’re a human, you have dignity, and life is *always* worth living.

@The real yeerhaw I struggle to wake up which is a massive problem I don’t want to get up, I need this to be over and being on this earth I can’t see it being over, do you take any supplements to help with it?

@ Anonymous Don’t underestimate how much God can (and would) help you with this if you just raised your heart to him. In terms of supplements, I don’t know. But do not self medicate with alcohol or drugs. *go to a therapist* my friend. You’re in my Prayers.

@ Anonymous You’re on this app in the first place because you don’t *know* what the reality is. Please go to a therapist as soon as possible, you need the help to tell which way is up or down. Don’t end this precious life of yours over a false memory. Don’t end it full stop. Please seek help my friend, I don’t want to see any harm coming your way 🙏

@The real yeerhaw The previous mistakes I’ve made with women have led me to this night where I am sorry for it, I wish something would come of it rather than just not knowing it’s ruined me physically and mentally

@ Anonymous Just please believe me when I tell you that your life has value. Please turn to God. An all powerful God (who is Love) has the power to bring order to this. And again, you’re here wondering about *false memory ocd*. You’re not even sure it happened! Please Pray and seek therapy, and do not end your life. Please seek help, even if it’s one of those numbers you can call. They are good people who will listen to you.

@The real yeerhaw I don’t even think it is OCD, because I’ve made mistakes with females before and for the first 6 months since that night I didn’t even realise that those OCD themes existed so I still don’t know if it is

@ Anonymous I didn’t know what OCD was for years when I went around knocking on wood to prevent something bad from happening, or kept purging bad thoughts that I feared would harm people. I realised later on that these were ocd symptoms. I know this is so much easier to say than do. If you do not know what the truth is, don’t automatically assume the worst case (especially since you may have ocd!) You *need* to go to a therapist, you’re having what seems to be a depressive episode with thoughts about suicide. My heart is aching thinking about you. Please go to a therapist. I’m Praying for you, I want you to live and see joy again. And I didn’t always believe in God, I was an atheistic teenager. But it doesn’t make sense that this world, with its 3 dimensions and all the beauty in it could just spontaneously appear by coincidence. Why is the world intelligible? Why was math able to land a man on the moon when we only evolved to do math in order to trade bananas and oranges with other cavemen? Why can humans with our small minds understand so much about the universe? Because there is an intelligent mind behind the creation of it, and He has hidden Himself. (And being all powerful; that would be within his capability). But God revealed Himself to us when he took our humanity upon himself. He became Man, suffered our trials, died the worst of our deaths, and rose again from the dead. In that way, he shattered the bonds of death that hang over our heads. He desires to give all people, *all* Sinners, eternal life. Please do not harm yourself or give up hope!

@The real yeerhaw I just feel like my life has been overtaken by mistakes I’ve made that could put me in prison and that’s without that ‘night’ where I feel I done that awful act, if there’s anything I could do I would erase it all in a heartbeat

@ Anonymous I obviously can’t speak authoritatively in your situation, but again, ocd may be playing a role here. Either way, it’s never worth ending your own life. Your life has value, and don’t listen to anyone of the world that you *think* would tell you otherwise. I’m telling you as a fellow human being that it’s not true, and that life is worth living. God is infinitely merciful in the Catholic religion. Our believe is that *He is love*. Wether or not I’m right, the truth is that believing it will help you. He came not to call the righteous but to heal the Sinner, as a physician of our sick souls. You’re included in that call to eternal life. If you need real evidence for God’s existence, look up ‘Eucharistic Miracles’. You won’t be disappointed by it.

@The real yeerhaw I can’t carry on and if I turn to god I’ll be one of the worst to do it and a coward with my previous history of mistakes I just feel I can’t turn go god because things have gone wrong and I don’t feel good, it feels wrong too

@ Anonymous That’s the opposite of what God would want you to think. The farther you strayed from Him, the more his Heart *ached* to forgive you. Our Sinfulness is His nightmare. His ultimate desire is to forgive us of all of it. The cowardly thing would be to hide from God. It takes courage to kneel down and Pray to Him. Remove all expectations that tell you He is angry at you. He *loves* you and waits for you to talk to Him. He eagerly desires to forgive you.

@ Anonymous You must carry on. Your life is worth living. Again; you don’t even know that you did what you fear you did. It could just be a false memory. That’s not worth ending your precious life over. Nothing is. Even if the worst fear is true, it is not worth ending your precious life over it. *Please* believe me when I tell you this! I’ll Pray for you today, I’m worried for you.

@ Anonymous And please talk to somebody about your suicidal feelings. I’m not a licensed therapist, and my heart aches to see you like this. Please see a therapist soon.

@The real yeerhaw If it’s true what shall I do? Bar praying what else do you think I should do I constantly feel like a rapist

@ Anonymous Prayer, Erp and Therapy are all I could recommend. And *not* taking drugs or alcoholic to self medicate, and believing that eventually this trial will lift and you’ll be free to live a happy and fulfilling life. That’s the truth.

@ Anonymous Your life will find meaning and fulfilment. It just takes time. You’re going through a process (again, which might be superficial since this could just be an ocd compulsion, you’re not sure). A good therapist can walk you through this.

@ Anonymous Just keep hanging in there. We love you man, you’re loved. The solution ain’t death, it’s the infinite mercy of God who *is love* and who has made it his business to die for the the Sins of every person in the world. You’re His child, and his heart ached seeing you go down the path you went down. Not out of a hatred of you, but out of a sheer abundant love for you. That love for you is still there, and his heart is *aching* to forgive you. His heart burns with love for you. He just wants you back in his arms! He doesn’t want the self deprecating. Let Him in, let him pick you up, let him form an action plan for getting up and fixing this. Read the parable of the Prodigal son. And again; you don’t know if this is just ocd! I again recommend going to a therapist. You need someone to guide you, to help you know what is and is not reality!

@ Anonymous And remember, this was *a year ago* (and you have had ocd compulsions before right?). Don’t end your precious precious life over something you think *might* have happened a YEAR ago. The memory that might be false could be distorted from all the thinking of it since then. Go to a therapist to parse out the truth here. And remember, God loves you so much. The one thing you could do that would break his heart even more would be to end your own life. He loves that life of yours and doesn’t want that an ounce.

@The real yeerhaw Another thing that would break his heart would be seeing you try to self medicate with alcohol and drugs (which would make thing worse!) when you could simply come before him in your poverty, with outstretched hands. He *DEEPLY* desires to help you!

@The real yeerhaw Thankyou for your comments they give me strength, I’m going to try and let god in more try and be open to it more, I had OCD before but I thought it went because i didn’t have any compulsions before this night, I also have drank a million times before and walked home but this night sticks out and causing me a sickening feeling

@ Anonymous You’ll Heal buddy. You’ll heal. Let God speed up the process, to get deep into your heart and to breath life into it again. It’ll take time, but you’ll be happy one day again. All the best to you, I think of you every day. Please hang in buddy.

@The real yeerhaw I’m trying to heal but I just wish I went to the cops/police a week or so after the night

@ Anonymous After the night of a possible false memory? This might be ocd, so again; go to a therapist my friend! And I’m so glad you’re trying to heal, that’s fantastic news. Please never give up hope.

@The real yeerhaw I listen to Christian music at the moment that seems to help

@The real yeerhaw Yes atleast then cctv would not be deleted etc.

@ Anonymous If you need good quality resources, check out Word on Fire on YouTube. And again, keep on ticking. Don’t automatically assume the worst case scenario based on your ocd. If there’s reason to be hopeful, be hopeful. (And again therapy to help find the truth)

@The real yeerhaw Surely it must be true because I was on alcohol surely my brain isn’t that messed up

@ Anonymous I can’t tell you man! I know you (might?) have ocd so there’s some ambiguity there. And you’re not actually sure what happened which adds further ambiguity. What I do know is that a good trustworthy therapist trained in ocd can pick your brains on this and help you come to a logical conclusion. That would be the first port to call before considering police, and suicide is never a port to call no matter who you are. Prayer all the way my friend, God loves you. I wish you the best, you’re in my thoughts dude. Are you getting on better today?

@The real yeerhaw Everyday is a struggle , it’s the pain I have that will not go away , if I done it then I have caused myself just as much harm because I’ve beaten myself up everyday since that night and caused myself a lot of problems, I sometimes think god is with me and stuff but then I still struggle to accept the fact of god because I was never religious before all of this how can I suddenly turn to god over all of this

@The real yeerhaw ?

@ Anonymous God just wants you back, like a father wants his lost child again, no matter how rebellious that child was. Look at the parable of the Prodigal Son. Just let Him love you and don’t overthink it.

@ Anonymous If you want to chat further my discord is shkrood#3250

@ Anonymous Are you doing alright today man?

@The real yeerhaw I feel terrible and don’t think it’s OCD, how are you keeping?

@ Anonymous Not too bad. If you have discord feel free to contact me there, I find it a lil bit annoying chatting on here.

@The real yeerhaw I don’t I’m afraid do you have anything else

@ Anonymous Discord is my preference but that’s alright. What do you use?

@ Anonymous Yo to

@ Anonymous Yo yo *

@The real yeerhaw Hi, sorry I’ve been really bad as it isn’t OCD I’ve realised, how are you

@ Anonymous But my friend, can you really trust your own judgement on that if it’s clouded by ocd? That’s why it could be so helpful to speak to a therapist. When you’re in your own head ruminating on something you may lose perspective. An outside observer can help you get a better grasp on things.

@The real yeerhaw I can’t carry on with it, it’s been over a year and the feelings constant of just feeling sick 24/7, I feel OCD is masking what I really done so I done it but blaming it on OCD so I don’t go to jail, I feel sick

@ Anonymous Your OCD is tormenting you with emotional agony. Again, either way (even though it looks like it may just be ocd) you’re still a human, and from a human to another human, I’d still think you’re worth being loved. (So would God) You’ve got dignity! Now that said, you will be in my Prayers my friend because I am again worried about you. I hope that today you’re able to give your mind a rest from thinking about this, and I hope you find a trusted therapist. Remember that you’re loved, you’re worth loving no matter what, and that ocd is one really convincing liar so don’t automatically assume the worst case. Please hang in there and never give up. And please, if ever you get suicidal again, go to a therapist. Your life is worth living, don’t listen to anyone who would say otherwise.

@ Anonymous Hey bud, how are you getting on?

@ Anonymous How are you doing my friend ❤️

@The real yeerhaw Terrible, how are you

@ Anonymous Awe my friend I’m sorry. I’m also glad to see you’re still pushing, not giving up living. Your life is worth living, I hope you find peace. Feel free to email me any time my guy. All the best.

@The real yeerhaw Well I doubt it’ll be long and thankyou I will however all my OCD stuff is on this app so id like to keep it in one place really easier to reply to people etc. how are you getting on? Every night apart from this one I can kind of get over that’s what’s making it feel even more real

@The real yeerhaw How you been keeping? I’ve fully accepted I’m a rapist now and my actions were bad also my life’s pointless now

@ Anonymous I’ve been good recently, thank you. I’m really sorry to hear you’re still down man. Have you had any relief at all? Have you tried any ERP or the likes? Don’t worry if you don’t have much success with it initially, it’s not a short term fix.

@The real yeerhaw Glad to hear your doing well, hope that you’ve been living a fun and happy life, I haven’t bothered with therapy because I knew all along I done it just that I tried to pretend I was blackout drunk, it’s all true so that’s why my life’s pointless and I don’t want to do anything

@ Anonymous I can’t remember where but I watched a video about ocd. This girl had an obsession that she might hit somebody with her car. One day, when she was home, there was a hit and run near where she lived. She got obsessed about it, fearing she had hit this person and ran away, even though she didn’t at all. She even called the police on herself and it had to be explained to them that she has ocd. Ocd incapacitates the brains ability to think logically with fear. You may still benefit from therapy yet.

@The real yeerhaw Still though I just know it’s true it’ll never be the same as I know mines not ocd

@ Anonymous How do you know? False memories are notorious for tricking people into thinking they’re real memories. A therapist can walk you through this, either way. And don’t catastrophize, you’ll have a long and meaningful life.

@The real yeerhaw Because I’ve been intoxicated and have known the difference between what real event & false memory but this night has been different