Identity

I think I realized (probably too late) that I’m scared of losing myself to one of these themes. I’m not sure if it’s like this for everyone but sometimes when I have intrusive thoughts it slowly erodes my own sense of self. Intrusive thoughts become so muddied and virtually indistinguishable from my own. I have this idea of myself that all of my intrusive thoughts go entirely against, and I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore. I am trying to practice more self love, and more self care in general. I’m trying here. To gain a self esteem, to not be in control but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Username: CThomasACThomasA

Date posted: 46w ago

Exactly, sometimes I feel like I can’t enjoy something. Like I could be watching a show or playing video games and like “oh these are things for NORMAL people” and things aren’t fun anymore. Being so preoccupied in my head, I don’t know if that’s how it is for you. But it’s a killer for my personality and identity as a functioning human being

Username: CThomasACThomasA

Date posted: 46w ago

I heavily relate, I hate that I feel like there’s this parasite in my brain tearing through all I know about myself. That’s what it feels like at its worst. I’m happy to know I’m not alone in this though, I think when I was a kid I already was pretty bashful and had a very low self esteem and now being in my early twenties it feels like I’m a husk sometimes. Like I have this man who I wanna be but all these things in my brain just say “you can’t because look all of these thoughts.” I’ve been aware of my OCD and being diagnosed with it since I was 15 but still my thoughts say “what if you don’t have OCD.” Now that’s a kicker. Thanks for the lovely words friend. Wish you the best.

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 46w ago

I can definitely relate! My OCD was mostly related to sexual and harm fears. What were initially separate concerns / sub-themes progressively turned into a sort of “I am just a monster” all-star OCD theme. This was a horrible shift as basically every manifestation of OCD within a sub-theme not only felt like proof of that theme, but also of all the others. My self-esteem and sense of identity were absolutely shot. I spent a decade with these symptoms not knowing that I had OCD, because I was too terrified and ashamed to talk to anyone about this. Discovering I had OCD, going through ERP treatment, as well as revisiting this traumatic period of my life in light of what I know today, has helped me reclaim some of my lost sense of self.

Username: Wolfram885Wolfram885

Date posted: 45w ago

Hey there, I'm not a therapist, but I want to say that it sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and I'm here to listen. It takes a lot of strength to work on self-love and self-care while dealing with those heavy thoughts. 🌱 Oh, I almost forgot... have you heard about unstuck? It's this new AI therapy tool made specifically for OCD by therapists. My therapist recommended it to me and it's really helped with my thought spirals. I think if you search "unstuck app for OCD" it might be a good support for you too! 🤖

Username: BetterDays

Date posted: 3y ago

I woke up today terrified cause I didn’t feel connected to my body. I looked in the mirror and thought I was watching someone else and that was scary. Feeling depersonalized fueled my intrusive thoughts. Like “what if I’m going crazy”, “what if I have shifted personalities” or “what if I’m bipolar.” The fear of turning crazy also fueled the intrusive thoughts of me acting mentally crazed or like a child. These intrusive thoughts also tainted me into believing that everything I did was something a mentally crazed person would do. Now I have become more hyper aware of how I feel when I do simple things. This also fueled my OCD subtypes like harm/ suicidal because I think that if I’m not connected to my body then I have no control or might do irrational things. This feeling of not being connected to yourself is really scary and I hate the feeling. How do I get connected with myself again.

Username: Chihuahuapri...

Date posted: 1y ago

Harm OCD/intrusive thoughts

At first I was worrying about one thing then that went away and then I worried about another and that kept happening and now I’m worrying about multiple things I just want to feel at peace. I only feel like myself late at night I don’t know why maybe because I’m tired but I cry because I feel like myself and I miss that. I feel like absolute crap every morning I feel like I’m losing myself and it scares me

Username: Jay222

Date posted: 42w ago

Question

Can intrusive thoughts feel like your actual thoughts and who you are as a person the longer you have them? It feels like it is a reflection of who I am but a year ago when this started it was easier to point out. Now I don’t know.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Identity

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community