Question, I’ve been in treatment for over a year now and have always had trouble having ERP scare me. I have mostly mental rumination and compulsions and have found that when I do scripts and recordings, they never make me anxious. Can anyone else relate? Any tips?

Do you tell yourself that the scripts and recordings are part of therapy that it doesn't actually count?

So sorry to say this b/c I know you're going through a tough time, but go back and do ERP with a QUALIFIED and EXPERIENCED therapist. You start with the lowest ranked fear and gradually work your way to the highest ranked fear. That way you will set yourself with success. Once you face your fear, and keep doing exposures over and over again, you will soon see results. Talk therapy isn't enough. I started with ERP, then CBT (ERP sessions were not covered by insurance), no meds. Still have rough spots, but my symptoms are more manageable.

When people start ERP, many are scared of the treatment. Consequently, some tell themselves something like, “I’m going to imagine this now, but I know it’s not real, it’s just therapy,” to calm themselves down. That statement makes exposure impossible. You’ve just told yourself you’re safe! The exposure needs to feel real in the same ways it does when you’re freaking out about it in your day to day life. I’m sure you come across a million triggers every day that spike your intrusive thoughts and compulsions naturally. ERP needs to do the same, just on purpose. Perhaps your ERP triggers simply aren’t hard enough. I’d suggest picking a higher number on your hierarchy. Something that makes you fearful even knowing it’s “just therapy.” Id also try to steer clear of reassuring yourself that it is just therapy. It may be deliberate and scheduled, but it’s the same “risks” you face in real life that trigger you all the time.

Pureolife is 100% right

Thanks pureolife, I realize that when I plan to do an exposure it just doesn’t feel scary anymore because it was “planned” like having to think about erp not working for me is scary, but writing it on a script isn’t.

Maybe scripts simply aren’t the best exposure type for you. There are plenty of other real-life exposures you can try instead.

Maybe find an article about treatment resistant ocd/statistics?

And read it, telling yourself that it may be true for you

So your OCD is primarily about having OCD? Or is it focused on something else (harm, sexuality, contamination, etc.) Are your scripts about having OCD then and ERP not working? Just making sure.

I do tell myself it’s part of therapy! And I am seeing an erp therapist, they said sometimes your ocd knows you’re trying to scare it. I’ve done a heirarchy and everything but I just don’t get scared.

Yeah, I guess it’s hard to figure those out since all of my intrusive thoughts are mental

What are you intrusive thoughts about?

Being treatment resistant, not knowing if I’ll get better since erp doesn’t work, thinking that every time I have a new erp plan it won’t work bc I know exposures don’t usually scare me, etc

Thanks I will do that! And yes currently it’s about having ocd, I also have harm ocd but not currently so I do scripts about being treatment resistant etc

I like XTinas suggestion about articles about treatment resistance. Maybe you could also read others personal stories about how they feel OCD has stolen their lives from them and they’ll never really be better. Lots of people blog online about their illness, so finding someone who has really struggled may be triggering.