- Username
- Lavander
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why does it scare you if it's true?
Because I don't want it. I have nothing against LGBT, but I don't feel it's right for me. I never liked women, never wanted to date one. This goes against who I have always been. Hocd makes everything so blurry, though. Hocd is homosexual ocd, a subtype of pure O that makes you doubt your sexuality constantly. It attacks your identity, and it's extremely distressing.
I think some imaginary exposure could help you. Imagine what it would be like to kiss her! I’d write out an ERP script where the worst version of your fears comes true: you kiss her, you love it, you feel great, you finally realize you’re a lesbian, you come out, etc. Go fill out! Then read it to yourself 20 times a day for two weeks. Track your anxiety each time. Don’t do compulsions to escape the thoughts/feelings. See how it changes over time. A kiss is just a kiss. I’m sure you’ve imagined kissing plenty of people before and it never struck you as so important. Once your brain realizes that imagining kissing her doesn’t have to mean anything at all, you’ll start to heal.
Hi! I get this too, even with memories I have of previous friends where HOCD makes me analyse the past to see if I secretly liked anyone. It's a real pain to be honest. It still stresses me out even now that I'm in recovery! What pureolife suggested is a good exposure exercise to do - it'll make you very anxious but as long as you avoid doing ANY compulsions it will make the anxiety decrease in the long term, because it will teach your brain to ignore the doubts and thoughts. Eventually those intrusive thoughts will come less often.
Also: @heatZiro, with any form of OCD the sufferer experiences irrational doubts which cause fear and anxiety. Whether it's health related, sexuality related or religion related, the answer as to "why" it scares the sufferer is simply that they have OCD and anxiety related to it. The way you experience your own OCD will be similarly scary and irrational to the way that @Lavander experiences hers.
I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?
I feel like I have romantic attraction for my same gender friend but I can’t seem to figure out if I am overthinking or I just see her as a very close friend that I want to be closer to and this is freaking me out. I’m not sure if this is an intrusive thought or not. How should I go about dealing with it?
Thing is that i'm OBSESSED with a girl, i think about her all day and i hate this, i love My boyfriend, but she appears everywere and un everything, Even in unrelated things, She's a classmate and it's the third time i have an HOCD obsession with her, it makes me think and tried to make me believe im really in love with her, to also make me think i'm gay and makes me feel as if i don't want to be with my bf anymore, when i really love him and this actually started when i was scared of my bf falling in love with her.. i don't know what to do anymore, because Even if i Say i don't like her, it feels as if i'm lying, and also feels that i don't like My bf anymore which makes it Even MORE real, is this OCD? It feels like denial, but after the first 2 OCD obsessions with her i kept going with my normal life and loved My bf normally (Even tho i still had HOCD), pls answer:( i'm not gay, also, it came back because she cut her hair and now uses glasses, which i thought she looked cute or good in, but was scared of my boyfriend liking her, then it turned into, what if i liked her to directly thinking i'm in love with her (which i'm not and saying that made me anxious)..PLD READ I NEED ANSWERD :(
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