Am I lesbian or it’s hocd and libido issues?

I feel like a lesbian. I feel bisexual. I feel like that’s what I want. It feels like I like the thoughts. I feel like I have to leave my boyfriend. I don’t want to lose him, but it feels like I need to leave him. I feel sick. I feel like I’m hiding it from myself and using ocd as a coverup. I don’t want to be one of those woman who find out they’re lesbians later than life. I’m afraid of being one of those woman who convince themselves they can be into men when they can’t. What if that’s me? What if I never enjoy sex with my boyfriend? I don’t enjoy it now, because every time I try to enjoy I get thoughts like, “you want him to be a woman. You’re not attracted to him. You’re not attracted to men. You need to leave him for a woman. You would enjoy sex with a woman.” I don’t want that to be true, but it feels like it secretly is. Am I denying my true sexuality? Is me thinking I have ocd just a coverup?? There’s a lot of proof for me being a lesbian that constantly haunts me. For example, I used to watch lesbian porn. But the thing that really bothers me is that I (TMI) masturbated to a picture of two cartoon characters as lesbians, videos of woman twerking, and music videos of woman. I don’t know why I did those things. It makes me feel like I would like having sex with a woman, because I liked seeing their bodies in porn and masturbated to it. I want to be with my boyfriend. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to lead him on. But I can’t be happy around him, because sometimes he will cause these thoughts and memories to arise. I keep seeing lesbians on tik tok and i feel like I want to be with them. I keep thing about my boyfriend and marrying him, then I get the thought, “you don’t want to be with him, you want a wife when you’re older.” I also don’t want to be homophobic. I’m afraid of that. I’m supportive of the lgbtq community, but it doesn’t feel natural for me. The thought of ME specifically being lesbian or bi doesn’t make sense to me. Or at least didn’t. Now I feel like I want it :(

Hello, I’m 22F. I have always had crushes on men and have dated men. I never really CARED for sex much but I would still do it. I watch lesbian porn or anything that stimulates the girl more/ what I would enjoy. I fantasize about getting with a girl/ wanting to do things with a girl because of how good it would feel. However, I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Before him, I used to really like another guy. I can’t differentiate between whether I am lesbian, BI, or just straight with normal fantasies. I can’t think/ imagine myself in a relationship with a girl but I guess it wouldn’t be bad to get with a girl at the same time. Sex is just sex. However, I started having obsessive thoughts about my sexuality 2 years ago since then I’ve been diagnosed with health anxiety also. I don’t know, could it be that I’m just not that into my current boyfriend that it makes me question my sexuality? Is it it possible that he might not be so attractive to me that it makes me feel / think what if I am not straight? How can you differentiate between intrusive OCE or the reality / truth of something?? I don’t recall ever having a crush on a girl but I still see certain men and acknowledge how good looking they are and imagine being with them.

Hey guys, I think/hope that this is just ocd and not me but I can’t differentiate. I m dealing with uncertainty „am I a lesbian ?“ since 3 years and it comes with so many anxiety. I have to say that I like lesb cOrN and exactly this stresses me out !!! I ve been dating men for my whole life and one day the thought comes up that I could be lesbian. It comes and goes month to month. When I m in this „episode“ where I m questioning my sexuality i m googling the whole day if this thought could be true. Also I m checking my feelings by visualising myself with a women and it causes so much anxiety. I just don’t know what to do I try to meditate or to calm down but I can’t go on without having this answer :/ Also I m so anxious to „heal“ myself because then the truth will came out ( my brain says it to me). When I m with men I get aroused and everything works but then my brain says to me that it is just because of the fact of having sex yk? Like it tries to convince me that I m a lesbian… Last month I believed in this and outed myself as Bi in front of my friends although I m not really sure that I m into women. I ve never dated a women or felt any kind of attraction that I felt to men, but what if I m just trying to suppress the attraction to them ? Is anyone dealing with the same shit ? Tik tok triggers me everytime that’s why I deleted this app because everyday I get these videos about people coming out as gay after their relationship.