Confessing

I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…