I went to the toilet but I'm afraid to put my hand or foot into the toilet bowl. To be sure, I felt my feet on the ground and put my hands on my body. At that moment a thought came: what if you put your “head” in? I haven't attempted any washing for 3 hours. But I'm so stressed and I feel dirty! Do you ever feel like this? Please help🙏🏻
It sounds like you didn't put your hands or feet in the toilet, but I understand the thought of that possibility sounds distressing to you. Try reminding yourself that everyone's mind plays tricks on them sometimes, and your mind might be doing this right now.
@Doubting Ruminator What about my head, I wonder if I put my head in?
@Blaublumen Remind yourself, you would know if you had done that. Trust that you don't normally do that, so you wouldn't have done that by mistake. And remind yourself again, your mind is just trying to have fun with you.
@Doubting Ruminator I did as you said, and i said to myself “i would know if i had done that” I've relaxed a little bit.. but then another thought came -> What if I did it and I don't remember?, What if I lost control? I know these thoughts are intrusive.. and it wants to keep me in the cycle right?
@Blaublumen I know it cycles like that. It's the same for me, but I keep telling myself the same thing, because I know I need to trust myself. Each time I trust myself and get that bit of relief, I find that I can get myself back to remembering to trust myself a small bit easier the next time. It's still challenging for me, but the little bits of time where I can be a little less anxious help for me.
@Blaublumen Also, I have given a name to those thoughts, just to try to make it absurd so its less frustrating. I'll get pissed off when I'm washing my hands and have to wash them again, and then another time, and at a point I get pissed and say "F you Biff"(yes, I named my thoughts after the 'back to the future' bully). Usually at that point I can pause and take a deep breathe and remind myself to trust myself and finish washing my hands.
@Doubting Ruminator Thank you for your sharing 🙏🏻
@Blaublumen why do i have this sameee exact obsession
Its hard to sit with that feeling, but you can get through it, and your thoughts will eventually stop ruminating about this concern. You thoughts will gradually move towards something else, perhaps something more pleasant.
@Doubting Ruminator Yeah thank you, it’s very very hard!
@Blaublumen I know it is. Your comments remind me of a book I was reading, talking about some people with ocd who worry that they may have hit someone while driving, and have to keep driving back to an area to check and make sure thet didn't. In my own situation, I worry about my clothing brushing against the wall, or really against anything. When my anxiety hits me, I start checking with every step, could I have bumped up against something? Was it possible that my shirt brushed against the wall. In those moments I have to stop and tell myself, my mind is just messing with me. Maybe I feel it necessary to be careful and deliberate with each additional step until I can sit and get past it, but I need to avoid checking with each step. Checking actually raises the possibility that something that didn't happen now has another chance to happen. And once I'm checking, the uncertainty gets to me more and I end up doing compulsions. So try to avoid checking, and trust yourself.
@Blaublumen I also find my anxiety is increased when I'm hungry. If you haven't had breakfast yet, try having something, even if it just a glass of milk. The protein in milk may be enough to help you start getting yourself in a better spot, and continue getting something more to eat.
@Doubting Ruminator Thank you for your supporting♥️
@Blaublumen You would know if you put your head in the toilet regardless if you forgot or not. Because your hair would be soaked. And your face would be wet and the toilet would have blinded your eyes for a half hour.
I know what that feels like I always disgusted and sigusting myself because of all those kind of thoughts. For me it's about wet hair in the shower hdrain, god the things my mind does to me with that horror. Hang in there. You're not alone.
all morning i have been feeling like there is dirt and grime on my skin. i showered last night. i washed my hair on tuesday night and i will wash it tonight. but i feel like there is dirt in my scalp and in my hair and i feel like i haven’t showered in weeks. i don’t want to feel like this anymore. every day i am anxious about how clean i am and its taking over my life. any tips?
For the past couple of months, I’ve had a really big fear of like my hand basically going down there or objects going down there and like being contaminated. This basically leads me to be scared of being on my own and doing things without people near (because if I do everything in front of someone they would tell me if I did something), also tucking my shirt. This started last October too and I remember crying for like hours everyday. Now I’m better but I do compulsions like tucking my shirt in a specific way so I know my hand couldn’t reach there. I’m scared to even get ready for the day, brush my teeth, etc with my shirt untucked because I’m scared those objects will be contaminated or I’ll do something to contaminate them. I’ve been trying to stop this compulsion of tucking my shirt in for a while but I’m not really going anywhere.
Sorry if this is tmi. In advance, I know some germs are fine - I'm all for that, and it definitely does ease some contamination anxiety. But I have lots of anxiety surrounding going to the bathroom, specifically number two. Again I'm so sorry if this is tmi. I went yesterday, and obviously my hands were contaminated because well, they are when you go to the bathroom. But also because I accidentally brushed the back of my hand against myself. When you're done in the bathroom you obviously put underwear back on, and trousers or whatever, but I wash my hands before touching my trousers but not underwear. So I do that bit before I wash my hands, but my hand, the very contaminated part, touched like a bit of my skin at my waist. At the time, I brushed it off, thinking that my trousers will cover that anyway for the time being. But then today, I wore leggings that are kind of small on me and they weren't as high waisted. And then I got in my bed, and had a t-shirt on, and probably touched so many things. I changed my t-shirt, meaning it touched my hair as I took it off. So now I'm paranoid I have poop particles all over me. I'm convinced I need to have a full shower again and wash my hair. I'm okay with having a shower, but I barely have enough energy for that let alone washing my hair too. I don't shower every day, so with my schedule, I'm not due to have one until tonight. I just want to be able to get up, get dressed, and go about my day. But how do I do that when my bed feels contaminated and I feel like I need to change the bedsheets. How do I cope when it feels like poop particles are in my HAIR. And that could totally be possible. I know some germs are fine. But I just don't know what to do.
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