Does anyone else struggle with p*rn and ocd. I feel as though ive watched something terrible or i got off to something terrible and if i did i only did it once but i cant forgive myself to move on. I feel i want to die.
I deal with this a lot. Whenever I watch something that’s legal I always freak myself out that what if I watched something illegal or against the law. But that’s just how deceptive OCD can be
Thank you for replying, i guess im worried because i wasnt sure if this video that i know for sure had like teens on it, i remember watching it because it indirectly played into a fetish i have. Im not proud of it. I watched it just also pf out curosity and I dont remember if i got off to it. I remember feeling disgusted by it but what if i got off to it by accident or partly on purpose. I swear ive never done it since, if it even happend in the first place.... ahhhhh see this is my dilemma right now. Point is, if i didnt do it i hate im overreacting, and if i did do it. I would want someone to unalive me because it makes me sick with myself.
@Anonymous Hard truth and I’ll give a little reassurance. The thing is no amount of ruminating or worrying will ever give you the answer you crave. Ruminating will just result in more lost time and it’s fruitless. The best thing to do is to accept the uncertainty and try to move on. I know how tough it can be but it works after awhile. For the little reassurance: if it was on the internet and you found it pretty easily I’m sure it wasn’t illegal. Like I’m not even sure, nor do I want to know, how illegal videos are found
@GregJ I’m dealing with the same problem right now. I’m a teenager and there’s been times of fallen into temptation and went to YouTube instead of actual porn hub because I would get too scared to go on there and I would literally just search up like people kissing not too much and I want to tell you they very much did look like grown adults Like I can’t when I try to go back and recheck the videos like I’m just still mind blown like there’s no these people are children but I get this really bad thought like but what if they are like what? If in reality? They’re like a 12-year-old being forced? And now I’m worried I might’ve watched illegal content. :( I just don’t know
@andrea_sam730 The best thing you can do is try to move forward while accepting the uncertainty. You’ll never know for certain and OCD won’t ever stop with the “what ifs”. Let the thoughts come in and just let them do what they want. Just because you get a thought doesn’t mean you have to interact with it
@GregJ This is so hard for me it’s getting so bad to the point ion even wanna be here sometimes but I’ll try my best to sit with the uncertainty
@andrea_sam730 It’s hard, it really is. Go easy on yourself. Try sitting with the anxiety for a little bit then allow yourself to ruminate. And then do longer with sitting with the anxiety and thoughts. Try to build upon your tolerance. I promise it will get better
@GregJ Thank you sorry I feel like I sound horrible I’m pretty sure the content I watched was legal it’s just doubt bc I don’t have the certainty ocd wants :/ anyway I’ll try …
I get thoughts about this all the time. I'm dealing with a lot of shame and low self confidence about it.
How I replied above is my repsonse to you
I thought I'd gotten over sexual obsessions, since they haven't been bothering me at all until I had a flare up yesterday. I usually struggle with masturbation due to a combination of both anorgasmia from SSRI medication along with intrusive thoughts, so I thought that an adult film should work fine and went on the hub as per usual. Everything went well until I "finished" and looked at the video title afterwards. My stomach dropped as the title had the word "teen" it in. I felt nauseous and gross because I'd previously struggled and became horrifically suicidal due to the pocd I thought I had under control. Now I know that by the word teen, it means an adult actress that's 18-19 and I'm only 20. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm gross for watching and that it was illegal material, even though I am fully aware that it wasn't, so I've been ruminating over it endlessly. This is more of a vent, but I feel like all the progress I've made with my ocd just went down the drain ☹️
I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
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