Eating is beginning to get harder

I feel like I’m living in my own personal hell right now. Everyday, all day, my thoughts are focused on food. My brain is stuck in a cycle of fearing eating and I want it to be over, but I don’t know how to get unstuck! It’s basically like, “Okay the wife told me that we’re having pizza for dinner tonight… but am I in the mood for that? Will I have an appetite for that later? What if I don’t have an appetite and I try to eat it and the texture feels gross in my mouth and I gag or vomit? What if the smell of the pizza makes me feel nauseous? Oh god, but if I don’t eat dinner my blood sugar will get low and it’ll make me feel worse and I’ll get more anxious, so I’m gonna have to eat the pizza to feel okay, but now the pressure of eating this pizza is stressing me out!!” And it’s like that all the time!! I’m trying to push through and not pay the spiraling any mind and just eat like normal, but it’s hard when something that’s such a simple task feels like a herculean struggle, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better :(

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with OCD. I’m not sure what changed, or flipped inside of me, but suddenly everything I was eating became scary. I would spend days not drinking water, or trying to force down at least some crackers and beef broth so I didn’t get sick. I have a fear of anaphylaxis, even with never being exposed to something I’m deathly allergic to. I don’t even have any allergies that I know of that give me hives or any type of reaction. I would feel my throat tightening, and my throat would turn red because I would scratch at it, and I could feel a tightening in my chest even with stuff I’d eaten my whole life. I was/am terrified of high allergy foods (shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, etc) but I’ve recently began to try things again. I can eat almonds again without nearly passing out in a panic. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like I’m the only one this happens to. It makes me feel completely weird, and it confuses other people.

I ate a frozen pizza and in the middle of eating it I imagined to myself "what if it was an edible cookie" because the way I was eating it it was the shape of a cookie due to not having pizza cutter around (or at least I cant find one) I just cant stand the thought of the possibility of accidentally eating an edible unknowingly or just anything drugged and I'm exhausted of this irrational fear controlling every single day and triggering panic attacks (or anxiety). I wasn't always like this, why is this happening to me now??? I used to be a very impulsive person and eat whatever was put in front of me, and I've always been fine, so why is this eating me now? To be honest I feel calm typing this right now, just a little frightened that I scared myself with that thought, but I'm scared that this calmness won't last long. I hate this!