RELIGIOUS I’m scared of God and I’m keeping a safe distance. I’m not leaving him completely I’m just talking to him from far away. If I get too close to him I’ll end up getting hurt. Just because I’m scared of him doesn’t mean I don’t love him either. I want to talk to him but ocd is saying I can’t because I’ve done too many problematic things and he’s judging me for it. So I’m avoiding praying as much as I can. This is painful. I really wish I would’ve come to find God when I was older and I wouldn’t have to question everything he did. I’d just go along with it because I would understand that I have to. Ocd really just fucks Up the idea of God. Completely. It says he’s sending me to hell anyway despite me believing he died and is coming back. It says hes sending me to hell because I’m too problematic. And it says he’s ignoring my prayers because he’s pissed with me. I want Gods attention but not that much attention because then he will see it as a chance to hurt me and call it “ a test of faith.” I even prayed to Mary and asked her to tell God what I need to tell him. Idk how praying to Mary works but I just trusted she told him. I sound so stupid but I’m lost and I just want to leave this alone until I need it. Because this isn’t healthy but I’m scared to make it healthy

I want to remind you that when Jesus came here, He hung out with the sinners and touched those who were diseases. He made it so that there are no barriers between us and God and we don't need to fear coming into the presence of God, who is waiting for us and loves you more than you could ever know. Stick to this truth, because OCD is the master lier. I'm so sorry that OCD is warping this for you. OCD has definitely played a part in mucking up my relationship with God, but not permanently and there is hope. hang in there ?

Hello! I think I may have replied to one of your other posts a few weeks ago (about Mary, etc). I’m so sorry you are going through this ❤️ I can relate to “keeping God at a safe distance” - I’ve done that a lot too. I resonate with you saying that OCD f’s up the idea of God. I can relate to this, and I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in this.

HI! I have that exact same problem. I couldn’t even go to church or listen to gospel music or even see the word “God” without getting triggered in some way. It’s extreme guilt of hell, the rapture, dying unprepared, sinning. I pray and read the Bible compulsively. It makes religion unauthentic which is even worse. Just try your best to relax about it. It’s overwhelming, I know. I’m getting better though and you will too. God knows your heart. Remember that. You’re not alone, and we can talk privately and encourage each other if you’d like.

That’s so hard and so confusing for you. God knows the depths of your mind and he knows that’s OCD can have a negative impact on how you view him. He knows you are bigger than your OCD and what it does to your mind.

Its hard my husband has religious ocd. These thoughts are evil.

It is hard, I’ve struggled with the same. But my therapist reminded me that God created our brains and knows how they’re supposed to work, and He doesn’t change and still loves you more than you could ever imagine, no matter what your OCD tells you! Take a deep breath. You are loved!

I especially relate to keeping God at a safe distance, though for a different reason. I lost my 6 week old niece to SIDS last March and my great grandfather a month after that, and then my cat in November. My OCD keeps telling me that if I keep going on with a sin or whatnot, then God will take someone else from me, and also says that it’s my fault they all died because God was punishing me for my sins. At this rate, I’m side-eyeing Him but wanting to trust Him. Take heart! You’re definitely not alone :)