Existential ocd /harm ocd

Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know which one is triggering the other ! I also suffer from harm ocd where I’m forever worrying that I might lose control & harm my family whom I love to bits & I’m always battling the nightmare inside me that makes me believe that I’ve already hurt them but I just don’t know it … I’m on lexapro & have been for two years but I find that all it does is numb my emotions, I can’t cry & at times worry that if sharpens to someone I love , I may not be able to cry or show emotions . I am convinced that I’ve developed schizophrenia 🥲🥲 which has always been my worst fear! Or that I’ve gone psychotic without realising . I cannot see myself out of this hole & my brain had forgotten what being a normal person once felt like 🥲🥲. I was seeing a psychologist and he did ERP with me but sadly that did Not help so I stopped seeing him altogether & lost faith in therapy altogether ! Sorry this is a very long post but I just want to know that someone out there is experiencing the same symptoms and has gotten over it through ERP or other medication ? Because I feel like I’m the only one suffering from this debilitating illness and there’s no way out!

Username: SchauneSchaune

Date posted: 40w ago

You are not alone in this. I experience the exact same symptoms and thoughts as you do. It gets so scary, because you look at your loved ones, and find it so hard to feel that love you know you have for them due to the DP/DR. I just started therapy and taking medications, and I’m hopeful that it will help. I think we rely on our emotions to tell us that we love somebody, but that isn’t always necessary. Please keep working at this! You’ve got this! ♥️

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 40w ago

All of this is just your brain over reacting to a thought and just running with it. Questioning one’s existence can only happen by someone who exists. Who is alive. And who has a brain and a soul and parents and a life. You are here and you are safe. Just remember that you can’t be afraid of being alive if you were anything other than alive. I am also constantly afraid of getting schizophrenia!! Also I have this same fear and it does get better! I found Paxil works well for me! Have you tried to get on another medication to see if that helps?

Username: WellerStorn98WellerStorn98

Date posted: 40w ago

I'm really sorry to hear about the struggles you're going through. The fears and thoughts you're experiencing sound incredibly challenging, and it's clear you're facing a lot with so much courage. 🌟 I'm not an expert on OCD, especially with the themes you're dealing with, but I'd like to share some resources that might help. Would that be okay? The OCD Reddit community has been a supportive space for many, offering shared experiences and advice that you might find relatable and helpful. Also, there's this app called "unstuck OCD therapy tools" that my NOCD therapist recommended to me. It's pretty neat because it offers AI-personalized guidance and exercises for moments when you need it the most. It might be worth checking out to get some in-the-moment support.

Username: lilyurbabylilyurbaby

Date posted: 25w ago

I get this feeling all the time sometimes it feels like I’ve killed myself and I don’t know it n that I’m dead right now, I feel like I’ve gone insane feels like the worst type of torture

Username: Christian

Date posted: 6y ago

Hello everyone! (Existential Obsessions) I have struggled with anxiety since I was a young boy. I remember worrying when I was younger that I was inadvertently trying to harm my mother, even though I love my mother more than anyone in the world. It’s shifted more times than I can count, from worrying about poisoning or contamination to thinking that I had heart disease. It’s all the same animal just shape shifting into whatever I fear most at the given time. Currently, (trigger warning) I am constantly obsessed with the fear of developing some sort of delusion or schizophrenia. I am 25 years old (I know that it would’ve probably developed by now) and have no schizophrenia in my gene pool. But I am constantly checking my thoughts to see if they sound delusional or if I am hallucinating my reality. This of course if extremely frustrating for someone with OCD because there is never going to be any definitive proof that I am not going mad. It has caused me extreme discomfort over the past few months and has brought me to extreme states of panic. I was wondering if any of you deal with existential OCD or fears of losing touch with reality. Of course, some days this seems laughable and others I can almost taste the insanity. On paper, everything in my life is going amazingly but in truth I can’t seem to enjoy any of it because I have these nightmarish intrusions of everything falling apart around me. Is this a common symptom? P.S I already run a few miles a day, meditate, do yoga and am working on strengthening my CBT. Any other suggestions?

Username: 6756

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi, so I'm struggling at the moment with existenal ocd... where i keep thinking how do I now anything or anyone is real... to the point even typing this I think how do I know this group and the people in it are real etc, also things like how do I even know my thoughts are real, what are thoughts etc etc... is this normal with existenal ocd? Also then with harm ocd it doet of mixes into it.. like.. what it none of this is real then what difference does it make if I were to harm someone.. then I panic and think how do I know I'm not gna going to or even start believing everything might not be real and go crazy etc? All sounds abit nuts I know but its the only way I can explain it... is this sort of thing normal with Existenal ocd? I'm trying my hardest not to gel with the thoughts as best I can etc.. and I'm not looking for reassurance... but will this ever go away?

Username: enoughocd

Date posted: 2y ago

ERP for existential thoughts

Please comment from or advise me from personal experience if you’re currently seeing a therapist and undergoing ERP to treat existential thought OCD. I don’t understand how ERP could work on thoughts like ‘what if my own family or kids aren’t real’ I know with contamination ocd they expose you to your fears by making touch objects or things and with harm ocd they might get you to hold a knife but low does the same principle apply to Existential thought OCD? I’ve been on the ocdf website and couldn’t get any answers …. Please comment

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Existential ocd /harm ocd

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