Hi, religious trauma exsists, we start to doubt our own environment, hence the trauma. I really don't get what you're saying. They you became gay and couldn't pray anymore publicly, or that if you're having ocd thoughts related to your situation. You see, the root cause of OCD thoughts, by my experience and my suffering which I am still now, is that your symptoms of anxiety and fear of what shouldn't happen is occuring as thoughts. In scientific manner, the brain has a lot of thoughts over 70000, you can't notice all at once, they are subconsciously coming and going without our knowledge. Thoughts come and when negative thought comes we may focus more on because we don't want that to happen. Before you could give message to your brain to stop that thought, your brain would've already processed the thought and would display, so we will be like oh no I thought of it oh no. First and foremost thing, you're not your brain. Secondly, it's not your fault. Thirdly. Our anxiety levels and stress levels and all the ocd symptoms are also connected with some physical aspects like sleep, circadian rhythm, and caffeine intake, how much of hormone seretonin is there and stuff. I hear that seretonin levels are low for ocd suffering people. But I can tell this one thing. Do not fall for the regret. Like deep regret trap which makes you feel worthles, regret remorse, or guilible is just something which you don't wanna fall for. It's crucial to understand if you've made a mistake but don't be there for long. In the words of Mississip, "When the Lord gets ready, you gotta move' essentially this means that we have to move on, we can't be stuck at a phase, right. I also resonate with how you're feeling, but don't worry this community has many lost and confused people like you, including me. We are here to help you 😊 best of luck. I can't offer solutions to your religious part, but you better believe yourself.
