Need help calming down from trigger

One of my themes is HIV fears, and I was just at Walmart picking out a shirt from the rack that they have them all folded up on. I was reaching for one from the bottom shelf and my hand brushed against the underside of the shelf above and they're was a sharp part that cut open my thumb. I panicked and took a picture of underneath and it was just the shelf was sharp where it looked welded but it made me bleed a lot and now I'm freaked out thinking it could have a disease

Username: GrettzelGrettzel

Date posted: 39w ago

So okay. Let's imagine for a moment that some Final Destination shit happened and you pulled the shortest stick and contracted HIV. What do you think will happen?

Username: jjoseph989jjoseph989

Date posted: 39w ago

I don't mean this as reassurance - it is just the truth: HIV can't survive outside the body for long, and it is never transferred in the way you describe. You might want to check out a book called The Man Who Couldn't Stop. It is a pretty interesting portrait of a man who has HIV anxiety and you'll see that you're not alone in this - contamination OCD is a very recognized type that can be treated so don't worry too much - you will be able to get over it if you keep working with the techniques the therapists use for this

Username: GrettzelGrettzel

Date posted: 39w ago

Also want to mention HIV treatment is very very good nowadays to the point where it wouldn't even be seen on lab tests anymore. ERP can also help by reading into it and challenging thoughts. We fear what we don't understand

Username: justinisscaredjustinisscared

Date posted: 39w ago

That's a very detailed response and I appreciate that! I believe I have heard of that book but I'll look into it. I'm actually reading a biography of Corey Hirsch (famous hockey goalie) and his battle with OCD (HIV anxiety being one of his themes) and it's very insightful. I have calmed down and am relatively relaxed now after forming a conclusion that, as you said, it can't be transferred that way. My brain just goes "sharp object + cut = disease"

Username: Mooooni Mooooni

Date posted: 39w ago

I also struggle with hiv ocd. I take photos of the bottom of things in public places and so I feel you so much. I hate touching everything thinking there’s a needle hiding somewhere. You’re fine. HIV doesn’t live long on surfaces. I was using the toilet yesterday and saw what I thought was a drop of blood but I remembered again, hey it doesn’t live on the surface and It didn’t go anywhere near me. It’s very very hard trust me but we got this. I was with a partner last night and struggle with false memory and my brain is attacking me, (did he take off the condom at some point) last night. I know he didn’t but my brain and fear of hiv likes to hunt in the parts where we care and fear the most.

Username: justinisscaredjustinisscared

Date posted: 39w ago

Your comment makes me feel so seen and it also breaks my heart. While it's comforting to have a real example of someone else who feels the same way, it hurts because I would never wish it on anyone. I have done so many checks when I'm walking and feel even the slightest sharp feeling after taking a step, taken so many photos of things just like you have, just to be sure. I'm proud of you for telling yourself about the blood on the toilet not being a problem and acknowledging that. I'm very sorry that you're also dealing with the false memory of your evening the other night. I struggle a bit with that too but not as bad as contamination. At the very least you could ask if he did, though that would be considered reassurance I suppose.

Username: Mooooni Mooooni

Date posted: 39w ago

@justinisscared Thank you for your kind words. I felt so seen and why I had to comment. You’re not alone. I take photos exactly like you when I feel a slightest sharp feeling. You should’ve seen me last night, walking over one area because I thought I stepped on something. I hate wearing open toe shoes but I’m trying to do it more and expose myself so I can get over it. Yeah man it’s all practice. It feels good when things start to bother you less so I hope it inspires you too. Its ok. Thank you. He turned out to be a douche and I’m sad just thinking why I gave him a chance. I recollected myself and remembered we were safe the whole time.

Username: justinisscaredjustinisscared

Date posted: 39w ago

@Mooooni Thanks again for your kind words also! It is such a tough feeling especially in public when you know people can see you and are wondering what you're doing when you go and check, I have that all the time. Absolutely! It feels amazing when you notice that something doesn't bother you as much as it used to. For the ocd side of your encounter, it's amazing that you were able to take control of your thoughts and tell yourself that you had been safe the whole time. On the other side of the situation, you certainly don't need to feel bad about the decision you made, and I hope that doesn't weigh on your mind too much

Username: CariMcGrath

Date posted: 6y ago

Guys, harm ocd hit me so hard yesterday. I haven’t dealt with this In years. I know I got trigger watching a video and it was like a chick who killed her boyfriend and I can’t even look at my husband right now with out wanting to lock myself in a room so I can’t be around him. For some reason any rationalizing isn’t helping at the moment and I just want to go back to how I was 4 days ago when shit like this never crossed my mind. I feel like a monster and I can’t tell him. And I tell him everyone of my themes. Guys I need some help right now

Username: danocd

Date posted: 5y ago

I have a problem that I'm scared to catch a serious illness like hiv or aids from kissing people or becoming to close to them. It makes me get away from people and I have problems in relationships because I cant trust them if they are clean and I'm too freak... this Sunday I kissed a girl I met on tinder and she made me an scar on my mouth... and now I feel terrible cause if her blood got into my scar I may have caught hiv. I have been 3 days on terrible distress and this sucks... I dont know how to not think about it and I really dont talk to this girl anymore, I checked her mouth 2 or 3 times for injuries or blood (she didn't had any and I dont know if she has hiv or not) but I'm in terrible distress just for the fact that I had an open cut while kissing her and thst kiss could have made me sick with hiv. I really hate this and I hate myself and my decisions of kissing her. And this combines qith my religious compulsions... I'm really hating myself, OCD and illness right now... I'm in big distress and just want to vent a little bit. I just hope I didn't caught hiv from kissing this girl that made me an open cut as I said before but I cant be sure and this makes me crazy.... I just hate it... and hate this thoughts

Username: electrolove

Date posted: 5y ago

So I’ve been doing so well lately. One of my biggest OCD themes besides harm is related to health and particularly STD’s within that. I’ve always had a fear of the STD’s that are incurable...particularly herpes though it’s effect on someone’s life is minimal. I’ve been sexually active recently (always with protection) and have noticed a spot on my penis. It very well could be acne or dermatitis of some kind but my OCD has already convinced me that it’s herpes and that I need to immediately get tested (which both my therapist and primary doctor have said would be feeding into the OCD unless it’s blatantly obvious that I need medical attention.) So I’m not sure what to do, any ideas how to cope with this anxiety, has anyone else had this form of OCD? Thank you in advance....

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